I’m 25 and I’ve only been with one girl in my 20’s. I’ve gone out of my way to go out of my comfort zone, going to bars, clubs, downtown, online dating, libraries, ect. In three different cities (San Diego, Houston, Huntsville) and have had literally no success. Online dating is a wasteland for me on Tinder, Bumble, OKCupid, POF, Hinge (Only likes I get are from people outside my preference, nothing wrong with being a little bigger though). And by no success, I mean it’s rare for me to even have a conversation with a woman, and not from lack of effort. I keep in good shape, I’m good looking, I’m financially secure, I have my own place and car, military experience, I’m going back to college and yet it’s like I’m being avoided like the plague, lmfao. Is anybody else having the same issue, or does anyone have any solutions? I feel like I’m missing something here. (Yes I have good hygiene, for any smartasses out there.)
3 comments
I’m also a 25 year old guy, and have struggled through the online dating scene. I have a good job and a supportive group of friends, but to be honest the best luck I’ve had with women has been by chance, not by looking for anything. Being at the right place at the right time, and having the opportunity to talk and get to know them has sometimes worked. These relationahips always end within a month or two as both of us are either at different places in our lives/want different things, or one of us eventually finds out something we don’t like/isn’t compatible in the other.
So maybe I’m not the best one to give advice, but just know that you’re not alone in the struggle. And that sometimes shit just works out, and it always ends in heartache so you might as well go for it.
I think it’s great you went out of your comfort zone to meet women… bars / clubs / downtown.. However, if you don’t genuinely enjoy these activities… you’re unlikely to attract women while participating in them.
This is something I learned in my mid twenties. My friends always wanted to go to nightclubs, and I hated them… the loud music, sweaty strangers pressed against you, and overpriced watered down drinks… as a result, when I met women they met a guy who was clearly uncomfortable and unhappy… and I’d rarely meet any girls.
Then I changed it up.. I started reverse engineering opportunities to meet women based on my interests…
I like playing football (soccer) so I joined a mixed sex league…
I enjoy live music, so I started attending gigs in my area
I like wine, so I started to go on wine tours and to wine bars…
And I started meeting more compatible women, building my confidence, and improving my success rate.
I know this is only one small component.. I’d need more info to advise further (stuff like… are you being held back by self-limiting beliefs / unhealthy views of dating / confidence problems, etc)… but I hope this is a good start.
have same issue and i mainly just rely on the apps because i dont frequent bars/clubs unless i have a work happy hour on occasion. the last date i went on last weekend ended up with the woman ghosting me after we agreed we should meet up again after the date was over. to be specific i texted her about meeting up and she said she would be down. 1-2 attempts to plan something resulted in no response from her. funny thing was she said during the date she hated people who ghost or cant be honest.