Not too sure how to feel-
My (24F) partner (26M) and I have been together for 5 years, recently engaged for a little over 2 months now.
We’ve had the baby conversation on and off for years but in the last couple of conversations he has expressed to me that he is unsure if he’d really want a child.
His reasons are valid as well (not that they wouldn’t be), but it still just kinda sucks because I do want a child(ren).
He doesn’t say it’s an absolute no for him, he just says he’s really unsure because he says he wants to see how the future is looking. I.e, would it be selfish to even bring another life into this world? That is his main reason for being unsure, but he has expressed to me (unprovoked) that he could do without children.
Idk, I guess I’m just stuck. I really have no plans to leave him, of course, but I am saddened. We’re not even looking to have children (if we do) for another half a decade, at least. But, I would just like to know if this is something he does or doesn’t want sooner rather than later.
Is anyone else in this situation?
TL;DR: My fiance of 5 years doesn’t know if he wants a kid in our future, but I do.. I don’t how to feel or think. It wouldn’t be for at least another 5 years (at least) till we started trying, but I’d rather know now if this is something he does or doesn’t want.
4 comments
>he has expressed to me (unprovoked) that he could do without children
There’s your sign. Time to let him go, because this is a core incompatibility.
Leave him, if he goes oh nvm I’ll have kids. Basically ya know suddenly he changes his mind. Still leave, because he won’t give a damn about the kids if you have them with him. He only wants you to stay. Manipulative
Some people do not want children. I am one of them.
Far better not to have children if you are unsure than to have them and regret them for the rest of your life.
Children irrevocably change relationships.
Your boyfriend or husband?
I wouldn’t force someone to have a child that doesn’t want one. That’s when you have to assess whether you are ok without children to keep the relationship or just end it.