I never tought it would reach this point of asking here, but after masturbating like 5 times in a span of a few hours, i felt extremely disgusted with myself and how i’m unable to control this fetish…
I wanted to ask how to control a fetish or even get rid of it, i… cant say it here what exactly it is, its something VERY specific that really makes me hard and i just feel disgusted. I feel like its becoming too much as i cant feel as aroused for normal stuff anymore. Quite a good number of times i deleted the stuff but then i felt that urge to just recover it back… Hell, if i could i would cut my thing so i could never masturbate.
I am thinking of talking this with my psychatrist but im extremely afraid of doing it and i just don’t know. So tought of asking here help…
23 comments
Everyone is attracted to what they are attracted to. If you’re disgusted with it but addicted and get get turned on from other stuff, I agree that you should speak to your therapist about it. Maybe even sell out a therapist that focuses on sex
Why can’t you say what it is? You’re anonymous
Its probably a rape fetish.
OP, I also had a pretty specific, disgusting fetish – and when you have a pretty specific, disgusting fetish, you’re not going to mention it or tell people about it. The fact that you even suggest talking to someone and asking here, is an incredible sign, and it’s amazing that you’re ready to seek help.
I did not seek help, I got to a point where, like you, I could not enjoy “normal” kinks and sex, it was all I thought about and it consumed me. I engaged with people online to share in the fetish and those people made it stronger and harder to break from.
The first thing I did when I realized I needed and had to stop, was breaking contact with those people, and blocking them. I deleted any apps I used. I stopped visiting websites I used.
Anytime I had the urge, I did something else instead. Any time the thought popped into my head, I would distract myself with a cold shower or by going outside.
There are other things I did, that I don’t recommend, things like self harm and degrading, hurtful thoughts. Literally telling myself how disgusting I was as soon as the thought popped up, instead of masturbating and feeling guilty and disgusted afterwards.
Eventually, when the thoughts came up, my body would automatically shut down and I’d lose all arousal because of the negative association I built.
It is NOT okay to do what I did. Please, do as I say, not as I do.
It is vital that you seek professional help, especially from a therapist that specializes in the topic. They will be able to navigate this with you and will not judge or shun you.
I’ll never enjoy vanilla sex, and never did to begin with, but I can finally masturbate and have sex blissfully without the fetish popping up. The freedom you’ll feel is worth seeking therapy.
Edit: OP’s fetish causes them distress, none of you are entitled to know what the fetish is and OP is not obligated to share it with you.
If someone is too humiliated or ashamed to mention their fetish, what makes you think they’ll indulge your morbid curiosity? OP is seeking help, they’re not a freak show.
What’s the fetish?
I’m a macrophile and eproctophile. I try and take breaks from my fetishes and throw on something else like solo male moaning.
I can hazard a guess to what it is. You can either get psychiatric help, or chemically castrated. If you indulge it will get stronger over time.
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Hey, don’t beat yourself up. I have a foot fetish and act on it when appropriate. Teach your body to do so.
OP, please talk to your mental healthcare provider! They won’t judge you, and can point you toward resources or therapies to help you process and manage this in a safe and healthy way. It’s their job to help you, but they can’t help you if you don’t tell them that there’s a problem. If you don’t want to go into specifics with them initially, it’s fine to just start by saying what you’ve said here–that you have a fetish that causes you distress, and you’d like to find ways to stop feeling aroused by this fetish. They can guide you in the right direction from there.
This is more of a side note, but is it a psychiatrist or a psychologist? A psychiatrist primarily prescribes medication; a psychologist primarily provides therapy (but may refer a client if medication is needed). A psychiatrist probably isn’t going to be the most helpful person to talk to about this, but might be able to refer you to a colleague, while a psychologist, therapist, or counselor should be able to help directly.
I think I wrote my bachelor thesis about your fetish. If thats the case you already made a huge step towards recovery. The worst you can do is try to fight this by yourself. It wont work.
I dont know where you’re from, but here we have special people/therapists you can talk to/work with in order to fight this fetish.
Dont act on it and seek help asap.
None of these people will judge you, thats their everyday job and they know its not your fault. (As long as you dont act on it)
Stay strong and good luck!!!
Waaaay above reddits pay grade.
1. See a doctor, tell them about your 5hr chronic masterbation sessions. They’ll get you something to help with your raging testosterone.
2. Book in with a therapist. Not all therapists work for everyone, don’t be afraid to switch out to a better one. Also they cannot report you unless they think you are a danger to people or to yourself, so if your fetish doesn’t leave your home – you can be as honest as you need to be and not have to worry.
3. Ramp down on how much porn/fetish content you’re consuming. Cold Turkey might not work but make a big effort to stop consuming as much and it will make a big difference. I went though a porn addiction so I know how easy it is to start needing more and harder stuff.
How do you interact with this fetish usually? Is this interaction porn based?
If so, you could try restricting yourself from watching that sort or porn or interacting with communities for it in any way.
I have a newish acquaintance that stopped watching porn of any kind, but now only let’s himself cum, get aroused, indulges in masturbation as a result of human interaction. In his case women directly sexually interacting with him in-person or online. It sounds pretty strict, and I guess it is.
But the logic of it makes a lot of sense. Especially since despite my love of porn, it’s pure fantasy and often skews our idea of the sex we should be having/is desired and purposely miscontrues or exaggerates certain fetishes for entertainment. And no matter how small the interaction he’s having, it’s based in reality. He’s really connecting with another woman who has very real lust for him in that moment and real sexual preferences and needs he has to proactively discover and negotiate.
It definitely makes me more inclined to engage him directly that way. Makes the instance feel more intense and less likely to be unappreciated.
Maybe subbing in positive experiences connecting with other humans sexually while actively avoiding further exposure to or participating in your fetish could help you also. Along with some of the other advice you’ve received here.
I hope things work out for you.
Hello OP.
I have some general advice for you.
1. Is your fetish something that causes others harm, or involves not getting consent from another party/illegal? If so I recommend taking immediate action by speaking with a doctor or mental health specialist as soon as you can. There are worse things than feeling disgusted with yourself that could be a consequence of waiting on this.
2. Barring the above, feeling disgusted with yourself can manifest in ways you don’t expect. Additionally it can poison your self esteem and cause significant mental harm as you move forward in life. If the only thing holding you back from getting help is a fear of actually explaining yourself to someone and letting them into your most intimate inner world, rest assured that there are therapists who specialize in sexual issues and im sure there are some out there who have not only heard it before but who are quite well equipped to help you with this by working through it with you.
At the end of the day you are the one who needs to take the step out of your comfort zone and get help, but I assure you there IS help out there.
Good luck to you OP.
Edits due to spelling.
So your kink is actually having negative real world implications for you. This is pretty serious. It’s past the point of just asking random strangers on the internet. Please for you own benefit go see a psychologist. Preferably one that specializes in all things sex. Advice, no matter how great it is, without the tools to implement it, is potentially more harmful than no advice at all. Psychology is you friend on this one.
Whenever it shows up, stay away from masturbating. Tell yourself that those thoughts are disgusting. Make a face like you’re disgusted. Stay away from masturbating to those thoughts and content or whatever it is. Start looking at “regular stuff” or cut out porn all together and masturbate to regular pictures or just imagination about something else. Takes about 20 minutes to finish most times, but I think historically that’s been normal. Be determined about wanting to get rid of this fetish. Make a disgusted face, tell yourself that its disgusting, make a cup of coffee, listen to some music (maybe “Remember” from the Lion King or “I can go the distance” from Hercules). Accept a cleaner and more innocent life. Good luck to you. I don’t know who you are, but I believe in you. You can do this
Are you like that when you’re outside too? Like “I need to go home or go to a bathroom and rub one out right now”? Or just when you’re home?
Stop masturbating, stop watching porn. You need to rewire your brain. You want to get turned on by real people, not pixels on a screen. This will not be easy, discipline is key, start working out or something like that. What you need to learn is self control, don’t let your fetish control you.
Hey, sorry you’re going through this, and sorry for the way in which it makes you feel. If there’s one thing I’ve learned in therapy is that all maladaptive behaviours stem from some unmet needs somehow, at some point. Highly recommend finding a good therapist (not easy, sadly some can end up making things worse. I was incredibly lucky to find an amazing one) to help you explore and understand what happens and then hopefully to solve the cause. Trying to ignore it or beating yourself up is not sustainable and counterproductive. Changing how we feel is very hard, and therapy is the only thing that helped me significantly with that. I didn’t think it was possible but I promise you it is if you’re determined to see results. Please try to be kind to yourself even if it is very hard, I bet you didn’t choose to feel the way you do and beating yourself up is unfair and really makes things worse.
Now I’m curious on what it is
Definitely seek a professional. Your feelings speak of deep issues that could have a severe impact on the course of your life. 5x’s in a few hours is indeed a lot and you need to get back in control but I’m more concerned about your disgust with yourself. That is absolutely destructive.
So again, get professional help. This post was a step in the right direction but you definitely need to walking, you’ve got a long road ahead.
Stop masturbating altogether for a while. Give yourself a reset from anything sexual.
Give it a few weeks. When you return to masturbation – do it without any porn, or stories, and try to focus on just the sensation rather than fantasies.
It’ll be difficult, but you need to train yourself away from fantasies altogether. Stopping masturbation is a tool to make it easier for you to get gratification without your fetish.
You need to psych yourself out of it. Find ways to rewire your thinking around it so you don’t get off to it anymore