I’ve (29m) been in a couple of long term relationships that have last 1+ years.
On the cover they are great relationships, but I just end up getting burnt out and tired of it. Like it just ends up not being worth the time and energy to me.
Trying to determine if I just haven’t met that one special person or if long term relationships just maybe aren’t for me?
Wondering if anyone has any experience
2 comments
I think you are getting burnt out because you have high expectations for the person and in reality you forget that the person is just human who is flawed. No relationship or person is perfect. You aren’t perfect. There will be a day where you meet someone who takes your breath away but you have to put in the effort and commitment to make it work. I’m not sure if you are dating people who lack effort or experience and you are getting burnt out. I’m not sure if you are bored with relationships and there’s a certain person who you want that is exciting. But I think you need to figure out your own expectations out of relationships. It could be that monogamy isn’t your thing and you prefer polygamy. I think you need some introspection on what you want and what you can give to a partner.
1. Do you *want* to be in a long-term relationship or do you just feel you *should* want that?
2. If you want to be in a long-term relationship, what does that look like for you? Take some time to imagine this beyond the image society has given you. Maybe you want a long-term relationship where you live separately. Look into various relationship anarchy and polyamory configurations and use that to help you imagine something beyond the default. Does something like that feel better to you?
3. Is there possibly a mental illness wearing you out that’s being over looked?
4. Are you sure your assessment of these relationships is correct? How much have you talked about your relationships to others (friends and a therapist)? Did you *want* to be with the people you were with, or did you stay because the relationship looked good on paper?