When ordering food at a restaurant, what’s your opening phrase ?

46 comments

  2. Oh I don’t bother with an opener, I just start screaming that I’ll have 55 burgers, 55 fries, 55 tacos, 55 pies, 55 cokes, 100 tater tots…

  6. If i’m at a finer establishment, such as The French Laundry, Canlis, or Noodles and Company, i’ll just do “I’ll have the chicken tenders and fries, please.” I’ll then dump a fistful of change on the table, and let the waiter know that it’s all his if he’s quick.

  8. Hi. I would like …

    I just try to be polite and to the point. Make small talk if the opportunity presents itself, but not force it or go on too long.

  13. It’s usually the server that has the opening phrase and I respond with a polite greeting and my order.

  15. How’re you doing today? Wait for the obligatory ‘good’ then proceed to order a drink and appy, when they bring the drink have my order ready.

  19. 55 BURGERS, 55 FRIES, 55 TACOS, 55 PIES, 55 COKES, 100 TATER TOTS, 100 PIZZAS, 100 TENDERS, 100 MEATBALLS, 100 COFFEES, 55 WINGS, 55 SHAKES, 55 PANCAKES, 55 PASTAS, 55 PEPPERS AND 155 TATERS

  21. It depends on what the order taker says first. I’d probably respond to some kind of greeting.

    I‘ll have the <whatever food or drink> or I want the <whatever food or drink> or I’m going to need a <whatever food or drink>

  23. I wait to be acknowledged by the server (usually they look me in the eyes, pen poised over paper), and then I just state what I want. “Chicken fajitas, please.” As Stephen King says, omit needless words. I figure the server just really wants to take my order and get the hell out of there. They aren’t looking to form a meaningful relationship with me, so I try to just get to the point. I’m always polite and say please and thank you for everything, and I’m a generous tipper. I just try to be respectful of their time, and get right to it when ordering.

  26. What the hell took you so long? I hope the food gets here faster than you came to take the fucking order! What’s a horse do over?

  27. “Well, Hector here’s the game plan. You’re gonna bring us two Absolut martinis, you know how I like ’em, straight up. And then precisely seven and one half minutes after that you’re gonna bring us two more. And then two more after that every five minutes until one of us passes the fuck out.”

  28. At a fast food restaurant I usually say “could/can I get…” and at a sit-down joint I’m liable to say “I’d like”

    Edit: I mean there is usually an exchange of heys first.

  31. I usually don’t have an opening phrase. Especially if I’m not the first to order.

    If the waiter asks what I want, or it is my turn and he is standing there looking at me, expectant, waiting, I just say the name of the dish.

    I say it politely, and smile. Then say “thank you.”

  32. I ask if they have the item their establishment is known for.

    Example: If I walk into a coffee shop, the person asks me what if like, and I say, “Do y’all have coffee?” and that usually short circuits them for a second.

  33. I would liiiike…. theee…. (1st choice) NO! (Random choice I probably won’t be happy with)…

  34. “The lady will be having … “

    Plot twist: I’m a guy and sitting alone at the table.

    Seriously though, usually a “okay, I think I’m ready to order…”

  37. If they ask how I’m doing, I start with “I’m good, how are you?” But if they prompt me to order right off the bat, I do “hello, could I please get ____” and I basically never deviate from this exact format

    ETA for some reason I assumed drive thru when I read the question, but I do think this applies for most of my restaurant experiences (though face-to-face interactions inside a restaurant do invite a bit more nuance than a speaker and menu board)

  38. “I’ll take theeuhhhh…what is it called?” *looks at menu again* “The _______.”

  40. “Greetings working poor, please to bring me lobsters stuffed with tacos. Post haste.”

  41. I want a hamburger, no, a cheeseburger. I want a hot dog, I want a milkshake, I want potato chips…,.

  42. someday I’ll order a single plum, floating in perfume, served in a man’s hat just for the reaction.

  43. It depends, if I have questions it is normally;

    “Hi, yes, I have a question about the….” ask my question(s) “Thank you, I’ll have the <order>, please” then after they repeat it back, “Yes, Thank you”.

    If I don’t have questions;

    “I’ll have the <order>, please” then after they repeat it back, “Yes, Thank you”

    I did once say “Readback is correct” which is a work thing and I wanted to die. Luckily for me, the manager overheard and is a “customer” in my industry and just laughed and explained to the confused waitress what was meant.

  45. You know that moment around the first 3 bites when I have food hanging out of my face like drool that’s wrapped around a dog’s snout and you ask me “how is everything!?”… I LOVE THAT.

  46. I’d like the chef’s salad please with the oil and vinegar on the side and the apple pie a la mode. But I’d like the pie heated, and I don’t want the ice cream on top, I want it on the side, and I’d like strawberry instead of vanilla if you have it. If not, then no ice cream, just whipped cream but only if it’s real. If it’s out of a can, then nothing.

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