Need some experts for this one

So there’s this girl who never gives up on me. We would’ve dated in the past but the time wasn’t right she had a boyfriend already. And we talked ether way about stupid stuff that didn’t matter it was fun we also talked about the battles I go through and even tho i maybe the cause of those battles she didn’t give up on me. But she was in a predicament and couldn’t just leave she had a child with this dude and it hurt I understood that. So I ended up getting a girlfriend moving on it wasn’t no big deal to get over her did still care about her as a friend tho because not a lot of people stayed around like that to help me through stuff and it meant a lot being adopted and having no family around besides my adopted dad for years
So that meant so much to me it was always the wrong time for us. But as time went on she still did her life which I don’t blame her for because we all should but she had another child I was going through it with my girl at the time so I cheated on her with that girl stupid af I know I learned the hard way that can do lol but I’ve had several women and 4 or 5 relationships since then and this last one had me thinking is she the one and my trauma and wanting something new a new start with a family of my own to build get in the way my own ego? I need help cause this shit is hurting my brain lol