I (28M) work for a small family business, maybe 15 people total. I started in the warehouse but due to injury, moved to office work.
There’s an office in our building that was claimed by one of the owners’ daughters (28F) who works with us. It sat unused for years. She stored her purse there or used it to take breaks but that was it.
I wanted a private place to make sales calls and do computer work so I asked her if I could put a phone in her office to make calls. She agreed.
I moved the phone in, cleaned and organized everything, and started using the office. Most days she came in at noon and sometimes I would end up staying in the office longer than past noon to make calls. When she came in she would leave her purse somewhere else, not in her office.
Soon after she started arriving at the start of the day but still didn’t say anything and put her purse elsewhere. At that point I was using the office full time.
I started trying to be friendlier to her because things seemed tense. Eventually, she confronted me and told me she felt manipulated. She thought the only reason I was being nice to her was to get her office, that she wanted me out of her office because “she said so”, and that if she knew this was going to be the situation, she would have said no to allowing me in the office.
I told her that I didn’t mean to make her feel manipulated and the reason I was being nice was to break the tension. I continued with the fact that I appreciate using her office. I also asked if she wanted me out and if there was anything I could do to make her happy. She said no.
She later apologized saying she was a jerk, that the office was all mine, and not to sweat it. She brought me some small gifts as a peace offering and I thought we were good.
Two weeks after the gifts, she quit unexpectedly. This left us understaffed until I eventually was able to hire help. I was promoted to a managerial role to fill her position.
Three months later she’s back without telling anyone what she’s doing. Her parents (owners), her sister (basically owner), the GM don’t know what she’s doing back and she hasn’t talked to anyone. She has been showing up on random days and leaves whenever she wants. No one wants to ask what’s up, so I did.
I asked what her schedule was, she said she didn’t know. I asked if she would be there on weekends, she said “no, is that a problem?” I said no, I just wanted to know when she was going to be there and if she was just going to leave whenever she felt like it. She said, “Sounds like it’s a problem”.
I told her it was a problem and that she basically screwed over my coworkers and I when she quit.
She got upset asking if I was a manager or something now, and saying that she quit because I took her office, that it looked like I wanted more responsibility, and that I was invading her space. She also said she felt bad about screwing over my co-workers but didn’t care that I got screwed over.
TL:DR- I took an office that was barley being used . The original user of the office eventually quit unexpectedly after giving it up. The original owner is back, after being gone for three months, and now blames me for the fact they quit because I invaded their space and took their office.
8 comments
She sounds pretty nutty.
“You took my office” is a bizarre reason to quit a job. Especially after she apologized lol
NTA, she sounds like a spoiled princess. Regardless of who she’s related to, she doesn’t need an office to store a purse in and eat lunch in, you were doing actual work in it. Is it a good family business or a nepotism family business? It’s possible the she complained to the owner about you and they made her apologize to you. I feel pretty confident that if she quit unexpectedly and you got her job there was definitely a “me or them” ultimatum. Honestly if no one else in her family know why she’s back and she’s just setting her own random schedule they might as well tell her not to come back
If she did nothing then how did she leave you short when she left? Leaving things out of the story makes you sound like you might be an arsehole.
To be fair, it does look like you invaded the space. You only asked to put a phone in her office so you could make calls and do some computer work. You didn’t ask her if you could stay in her office. Not only that, but you “cleaned” and “organized” even though you didn’t actually ask to. You made yourself at home there.
After all of this, even though it’s her office, you said you stayed there “full time”. That was never the agreement. You were just going to take some calls there?
I think she tried to mend things by doing the peace offering, but ultimately was still upset about it. She quit, mostly to inconvenience you because she was mad. But it is her family’s business. So.. it is what it is I guess?
No.
There is a very unprofessional dynamic that comes along with family own businesses that are mostly owned and operated by family. Some of the time, things go smoothy, but there is always a member of the family that really has no business being there because – while they might be passionate about whatever it is the business is about – they just have shit work ethic and aren’t made for whatever it takes to operate that business.
That office was empty, full stop. Putting your purse there and using it to sit and eat does not make it an office. In a place with limited space, you turned a nothing space into one that greatly benefited the company.
There is a lot of behind the scene bullshit going on here, I guarantee it, and the only part you are seeing is her fuming that you got elevated to do well what she was shit at.
For all you know, her parents and sister could have been annoyed with her performance, she quit in a huff, and then asked for some work back and they said ‘we’ll find a place for you, but you have been replaced’. You don’t know, you probably never will. All that matters is that you are able to get your job done, you are able to ensure your workers can get their jobs done, and if it’s a problem, then you need to bring it up with her parents.
I would HIGHLY suggest getting down this entire interaction saga as well as future interactions so if her parents or sister come sniffing around looking for an explanation to all of this, you can give them your version without missing any beats.
But yeah. She is not justified, but she IS looking for a fight. Do NOT go toe to toe with her. You will lose. Focus on your work, ignore her, and if she disisruptive, then make note.
Unless she is only coming in to steal shit or sabotage the company, let her family deal with her.
> told her it was a problem and that she basically screwed over my coworkers and I when she quit.
This was unprofessional. People are entitled to leave. They are entitled to leave when they do not like interpersonal dynamic which is exactly what happened here. Employees leave is not “screwing you up”.
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You took over an unused office without actually going through the steps of formally asking for office. And you did it by first asking for something small (place for calls) and then completely taking over. Then you was nice to her only so that she accepts office takeover while pretending it is not it.
Ultimately, the moves like that often come across as manipulative. People often or always resent them.
Yes she is passive aggressive, but this company is a mess and you ask for little to take a lot, so it equals out.
No she’s not justified in blaming you but you weren’t justified in blaming her for quitting either. Anyone can quit a job whenever they want. It’s a family run business, don’t get involved in arguments with members of the family, that’s just common sense.
It’s not the “justified in” that is a problem. It’s your whole behavior.
You pretended it was only for calls, then kept on escalating (calls, computer, organizing things, cleaned). She had nowhere to go. You tried to manipulate her and she called you out. Then she felt bad and tried to mend the relationship.
Then she had nowhere to go to do her actual work. You took it upon yourself to behave like her boss because noone was asking her what she was doing, interrogated her again. She asked you to leave the office and you told her no.
Honestly, I would have quit too if I had a coworker that steals my office, keeps tabs on me, demands to know what I do with my time (when my leaving left them short handed, so work was actually being done).
She is totally justified. Get out of the office like she asked you.