\~6 months ago, I became friends with some people through a meetup group. There was one guy, let’s call him Luke, who was really shy/awkward with me, despite being pretty outgoing in general. For example, one time, we all went clubbing and were standing in a circle, putting our arms around the person next to us. We were next to each other and Luke put his arm around the other person but not me. I thought maybe he disliked me, but he’d still be engaged when we talked and laughed at all my jokes. Then, 2 months ago, he messaged the group chat about this concert and I ended up being the only person to go with him. It was awkward at first, but we found we had a lot in common. He mentioned at the end we need to go to another show together (he’s brought it up again more recently, but unfortunately no one we know is touring soon). Since then, he started getting more comfortable with me, though still not to the same extent as others. I felt there was something there: it seemed he’d ask me more questions (with others, he just banters), find small excuses to touch me (eg. always high-fiving me after we dance together, which he doesn’t seem to do with anyone else. One time when we danced we even held hands), and look at me a lot. I decided that once I got back from a trip (I was gone for most of this month) I would try escalating things.
There’s another guy in the group, let’s call him Sam. Sam is one of the people I’m closer with in the group. While I was away, he started texting me a lot more. I thought nothing of it because he likes to text a lot in general and I genuinely thought Sam was gay. A mutual friend told me last week that Sam actually had a crush on me. I called Sam right after and things are chill between us, since he figured I just saw him as a friend and his feelings weren’t super strong. I asked him earlier today if anyone else knew and Luke did, because him and Sam are very close. Luke apparently thought I liked Sam back, since Sam showed him our texts and he interpreted our banter as flirting. I confessed to Sam that I liked Luke and Sam said that since Luke was supportive of his feelings, he didn’t think Luke reciprocated but that I still had a chance with him, Luke is just very oblivious. I don’t know what to do now, I was feeling confident about my chances with Luke but now I’m no longer sure.
tldr; like my guy friend and thought he might feel the same until I learned that one of his best friends liked me, now I don’t know what to do
4 comments
Don’t overthink it, just do it. Making your feelings clear to Luke is the only way you will know for sure. Holding hands etc all sound like pretty good signs to me, and speaking from a guys perspective Luke can be a good friend supporting his mate, but still find you attractive.
No reason not to go ahead.
Go for it. Just tell him. Make his year. I’m not even going to wish you luck. I’m already happy for you.
Come oooonnn you’re 25, just ask the guy out directly and leave behind this high school gossip
You’re grown adults, just ask the dude out.