I’m 23M and still going through that stage of who I am and what kind of person do I want to be. I’m somewhat of an extrovert so I really want to be better at talking to literally anybody but I always struggle with finding things to say. I don’t know if it’s because I have very few interests and barely any hobbies but with most people I find myself going into the silence stage after going through the typical get to know you questions. With people i found a common interest with, I can talk to them no trouble at all. I’m really tired of things continuing this way, I have much less friends than I want and I wish to be like those who can have a good time with anyone depsite not having much in common.
Edit: I’ve also noticed I talk a lot when I’m in a good mood, so maybe it is an anxiety related thing?
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I talk much more freely too when I’m in a good mood. When i have stuff bothering me my mind is often consumed with my problems.
Asking someone if they have anything good planned for the weekend is one of my “go-to’s”. If you can get people to talk about themselves you’ve struck gold. People love to talk about themselves.
Another thing might be to ask about a park, or restaurant nearby to get their opinion on it. You could ask if they live around here (where you are talking to them). No matter what they say, ask them if they like it there, or what it’s like, or maybe mention something you like in their town or city.
Also, ask them about their car, watch or something like that.
Questions can get you far. You’ll be able to sense, or pick up on it if a particular topic seems to make them uncomfortable and you can transition into something else.
Also, I should mention that people can sense, or pick up on, a lot of things that are unsaid. I think I do well chatting with people because I appear kind, and as though I care about them. I do. I have a small, distant family – so my neighbors, coworkers, and other acquaintances are like family to me. I love them. I love people. People can and will save your ass in life.