I feel like I’ve given so many signals that it’s ok to touch me and there were so many perfect moments yesterday to hold my hand… but he wouldn’t hold it. I’m scared to initiate it because I don’t want to cause a precedent where I’m supposed to initiate everything. We’ve been on a few dates now
He hasn’t initiated any physical contact actually. It’s making me wonder why he’s going on dates with me if he doesn’t seem attracted to me.
8 comments
Shy and scared to make the first move
Just curious…
What are your ages?
First thought that comes to mind: super shy. Maybe he is just inexperienced when it comes to dating and isn’t fully realizing / noticing the signals.
Maybe on the next date you grab his hand and see if he pulls away? See if he goes for a kiss at the end of the night??
Maybe he had a bad experience before with making the first move on someone and might be worried to make that mistake again. Just make the first move yourself.
You can take the lead and hold his hand or his arm when while you are walking. You can do physical touch like touching his arm or leg while you talk to him. You can do the trick of putting your hands against his and say “oh wow your hands are bigger than mine” then interlock your fingers. He could be shy. You should ask him about love languages and see if physical touch is what he likes.
Girl, same boat! Lol
I was the one to initiate cuddling, kissing, hand holding, and feeling the same way, wondering if he wasn’t attracted to me. Turns out, he’s just a very proper and polite dude. Takes things slow and steady. 😊
You’re still going on dates and talking, so he’s interested. Make the moves!
Shy guys have a hard time initiating. It’s even harder if they like you because they are concerned they may lose you if they make a move. They also don’t read body language and take hints. You are going to have to be very direct with him and take the lead in initiating everything in the beginning, touch, kiss, make out, etc. Signals, hints, body language, etc. are a waste of time if he’s shy.
Feminism caused things like this tbh. The wrong physical advance could be viewed as creepy by a different girl.
Okay so I don’t think it’s setting any kind of precedent to break the touch barrier like holding someone’s hand. If you want to hold their hand and they are having a hard time picking up the signal just go for it.
Some guys just need to know it’s okay and they will lead from there. There is so much beating around the bush going on these days it gets hard to tell. Being direct in what you want is the best policy.