So a while back my boyfriend had a group of co workers he would always hang out with. He told me about everyone of them except this one girl he worked with. He barely mentioned her. I was confused when I started seeing Snapchat notifications on his phone from her. I just assumed it was about work stuff and forgot about it. But the texts just became more and more frequent and it honestly started to bother me because he acted like he barely knew this girl.
There were times he would come back from work about 30 minutes to and hour later then usual and he would just tell me one of his coworkers needed a ride home. I didn’t question it. He never mentioned who it was though and I didn’t care enough to ask because I didn’t think he would do anything weird behind my back.
Fast forward a month or two me and my boyfriend have a fight about unrelated things. Me and him don’t live together so he went back to his house during our argument and during this time he got sick.
And was barely talking to me.
When he got better and we saw each other again the girl I mentioned earlier was blowing up his phone constantly. I know this is wrong but I decided to finally look and the things I saw really upset me.
It was her telling him things like “you and her need to break up” “she seems like she treats you so bad you need to leave” and when he was sick she was comforting him and saying things like “poor thing make some hot tea and relax I’m sorry your girlfriend isn’t supporting you when you’re so sick”
Like I’m sorry???? I was trying to be there for him but he left my house and barely texted me and chose to text her instead. Am I wrong for being upset about this?
After I saw those messages I confronted him and after so much denying and lying he finally admitted that the most that happened between them was that he gave her a ride home and he smoked with her in her house. He said he got a bad feeling and left. I just don’t buy it. I want to believe it so bad but come on. Who goes into a girls house and smokes and just leaves. He also told me that he got the feeling that she was into him from the moment he started working there but just ignored it because he saw her as a friend.
What would you think?
Would you believe this?
I don’t know. I have no solid proof that he cheated on me but deep down I feel like he did. Sorry for the long post
9 comments
He hid, and when pressed, confessed to a lesser “crime”. That’s textbook behaviour.
If he had a feeling she liked him, he wouldn’t go to her house alone, that’s asking for either an affair, or an accusation from either side. He knew.
So you violated his privacy then accused him of cheating.
Classic. That’ll really make him trust you more insomuch that he’ll tell you the next time a girl is trying to talk to him.
10/10
Emotional cheating is, in my opinion, worse than physical cheating. I think you need to trust your gut instinct on this one… he’s been hiding this behind your back for months hoping you wouldn’t find out. I’m so sorry.
You know, her sending messages like this to him confirm emotional affair. Otherwise he would not tolerate this.
Conversely, no mention of sex in their messages may mean it didn’t become physical.
Not that it matter, emotional cheating and lying is more than enough for break up.
If you want to stay with your bf not be insane for doing do, then he needs to go no contact with this girl. Yes it means quitting his job asap. If he refuses, you really need to break up with him for good.
Even if he agrees, he still needs to confess everything there may still be left unsaid. I mean you can just tell him, his affair partner will likely message you them anyway to convince you to break up with him. Well she may lie to you, but lets omit that part for now.
Other than that you would need open access to his accounts and messages, not to constantly spy on him, but thst you are allowed to check things if you get another gut feeling.
Hello! I am from a very remote area somewhere in Asia and I can smell his bullshit even from here.
He definitely has to be talking poorly about you to her otherwise she wouldn’t say things like that. If he’s not physically cheating on you, he’s definitely emotionally cheating and stringing this girl along.
And the fact that they talk on Snapchat and not regular messages is already a red flag at least in my book. Cause now you can’t see anything they say to each other after a while because snap deletes messages.
The guy feels something missing from the relationship, if you wanna stay, approach from that side of the argument. It would probably catch him really off guard. Either that or he’s just an asshole
If he isn’t having sex with her, he wants to. He seems to be trying to be loyal to you, but he has not been honest because he isn’t sure which way he wants to go.
Wow, okay, let’s break this down. So he’s got this coworker who he conveniently forgets to mention and she’s all up in his DMs. Then he’s late coming back from work because he’s giving someone a ride… huh. And now he’s smoking with this girl in her house but magically leaves because of a bad feeling. Sounds more like a bad movie plot than real life. But hey, if you want my opinion, I’d say trust your gut and your instincts. They’re usually right… unless they’re really hungry.