Under normal circumstances, I believe being straightforward and honest is the best way to date. I do not believe in becoming a girl/guy’s friend when you have wanted something more from the start. I think it is ineffective and dishonest.
However, there is a girl in my social circle who I am smitten with, but the repercussions of unrequited advances would be suboptimal. It’s just a bit late into our friendship to drop something so polarizing as an admission of romantic feelings.
What I am wondering is if there is any way to “probe,” so to speak, to see if there are any similar feelings coming from her. Because I am being a bit cowardly, I would ideally maintain plausible deniability. Perhaps something that she would only read into if she were having those same feelings. Thoughts?
2 comments
Flirting
Sigh…no there isnt a way to safely “probe” or develop an optimal approach prior to an approach. This is the same goofy theorycrafting I’d come up when I too afraid to just put myself out there and risk rejection.
You only develop efficiency after collecting frames of reference of what not to do. These frames of reference are important cause they’re burned into your psyche and kindly jolt you from repeating the same mistake so force you to come up with a different avenue of engagement.
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> It’s just a bit late into our friendship to drop something so polarizing as an admission of romantic feelings.
Standard practice in such a situation is to let your feeling be known (She’ll say no as you started off as friends afterall) and go into no contact. If there’s any feelings on her end she’ll reach out and in that case treat it as a brand new meeting. This is where you “renegotiate” your relationship and make it clear this a not a friendship.
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You cannot weasel your through with no risk to yourself.