TLDR: a guy I was dating broke my heart by being a total asshole. I initially decided to stay friend with him since he has a big trauma with his ex, but it is consuming me. How can I cut our relationship without hurting him too much?
Hello! I (26M) need an advice on a relationship. I started dating a guy (21M) in May and the first month was amazing. We met at university, we shared a course (It was my last Master course and one of his first Bachelour courses) It was very clear he was interested in me (he also told me so), he kissed me first and next week we had sex. Two days later he starts to be a real asshole (he answers my messages just once or twice in a day while he is constantly at the phone, he made me wait two hours for a date at Pride because he was having fun with his friends and many other things) and when confronted he said that “we were just friends and nothing more”… like, a week before that he said that he had been looking for a kind and caring person like me for his whole life?
He keeps acting like an asshole and it is honestly consuming me. I was deeply emotionally involved and now he is treating me just like my ex boyfriend. I am hurt by his attitude and honestly I’d like to interrupt our relationship.
The problem is that he also broke up recently (4-5 months ago) with his very abusive ex and he was turned away by his family for being homosexual. He is clearly depressed and traumatized and even though he hurt me, I still don’t want to hurt him. But I need him out of my life because the hurt is consuming me. I lost my appetite, I am being very self-consciuous about my physical appearence again and I feel used.
Unfortunately my next appointment with my therapist is in two weeks so I cannot talk with her about all of this.
How can I cut the relationship without turning myself into an asshole and hurt him back?
1 comment
At this point, your mental well-being should be more important to you than his.
Send him a text saying “I am finding our friendship difficult to manage for my own well-being, I need to cut contact with you. I will be blocking your number. I wish you the best in your life.” Then block him on all channels of communication.
Sure, he will be hurt. But it’s important that you take care of you.