So recently I (29F) hooked up with a friend (28M) after much sexual tension. We were out when he made a move onto me and spent much of the car ride feeling each other up and kissing. Get to the house and the sex wasn’t as passionate. He seemed like he didn’t know what to do almost? He was very rough and erratic. I wanna teach him to slow down and chill a bit because honestly it seemed like he was just nervous to me. How do I make him more comfortable? I’ve had guys before where their go to seemed to be as rough as possible because they didn’t know what to do. I don’t want to make him feel insecure so how should I approach this?
3 comments
It sounds like he probably isn’t very experienced and was actually very nervous. There’s a good chance that he’s found you attractive for a while, but hasn’t wanted to ruin your friendship by pushing things. When things finally started progressing, he was probably freaking out a little, worried he was going to mess things up or that you might change your mind at any moment.
Let him know you like him, and are interested in having sex again. Be really clear, don’t rely on ‘signals’ or indirect language. “Hey, I like you and I want to try getting intimate again. But, you were a little bit fast and flustered the first time. So, next time, lets try and take things slower and more gentle. Lots of foreplay and cuddling.” Remember, clear communication is key to a healthy relationship.
Be safe, be kind, have fun!
Perhaps he’s not super experienced? When I first start cowgirl really helped me develop a sense of pacing and getting in sync with the partner.
Is it something you would like to continue with him?