Am I doing something with my body language or face? Do I have superpowers? Why have I never seen anyone else have this affect on people before. Is this something I’m imagining? This normally happens if I’m not talking and just walk in smiling or something. Maybe I’m looking uncomfortable without realising it?
This doesn’t just go for when I enter a room. It’s just simply when I’m not talking. It feels like everyone in the room is anxious and uncomfortable and that I’m causing it simply by being there. I can see the uncomfortable facial expressions so what’s going on here? There are many introverts who don’t talk and I’ve never seen such an adverse reaction.
This is my biggest issue with SA I find this one impossible to separate from what my mind sees and reality. I don’t know which is the reality. So id love some people to chime in if they relate. This one eats me up so much and I don’t know what I’m doing or if I should change some behaviours so this doesn’t happen. I legit try and be as nice as possible and it still happens.
Is this all imagined? Please let me know ur thoughts 🙂
2 comments
I seem to get quite a stare in my eyes without meaning to sometimes and it can make people uncomfortable. I try to be aware of it.
You may be projecting your own anxieties and fear onto other people. Additionally they can pick up on your anxiety and feel that they shouldn’t bother you for fear you might push them away or something.
Focus instead on something you want to share or ask others about their hobbies and things they enjoy. Listening to others tell me what they enjoy makes me feel their joy.
Do your best to relax and realize that it’s not all on you. The conversation, atmosphere, and situation doesn’t totally rest on you to be happy and energetic. But also, you can’t think that others should be the one to approach you and hold the conversation one sided either. It’s a give and take. So if you give and give and don’t get anything back, then no worries. Just move on to someone else and hope they’re in a better mood to talk. Don’t feel ashamed. Don’t blame anybody.
If you’re happy and energetic, others might not be. It might be a bad day for them. They might be socially worn out and can’t socialize anymore. That’s it. It doesn’t completely reflect you. It doesn’t have to reflect anyone really. If you’re sure that you didn’t do anything wrong, and you’re doing your best to respect someone’s space then just try talking to someone else.
>This doesn’t just go for when I enter a room. It’s just simply when I’m not talking. It feels like everyone in the room is anxious and uncomfortable and that I’m causing it simply by being there.
What you said here seemingly tells me that you’re focusing too much on yourself rather than listening to what others are saying. The world will not fall apart just because you’re there in a room and not saying anything. People are not thinking about you as much as you think they are. Rather, they’re actually thinking about themselves more than anybody. So everyone might be making the same mistake all at the same time by assuming they’re all doing something wrong and discouraging any relaxation, confidence, and chance for fun and energy.
It’s a bit of perspective really. If you’re confident, others might feel encouraged to be confident. If you’re relaxed, others might relax. There’s a saying that goes: “we don’t see others as they are, we see others as WE are.”
I hope that helps.