my girlfriend and i have been dating for nearly two years and we both go to the same university, but are long distance for the summer. over the past 6ish months even when we were in person, she’s really become emotionally dependent on me and constantly needs attention and praise and has gotten worse with the distance. before that, our relationship was great even with a few bumps in the road. we have a future planned out (moving in together after school, getting married, our children’s name, a two year anniversary date, etc) but recently we’ve been fighting almost every other day.
i still love and care about her so much but our relationship is starting to take a toll on me. her family and friends love me and they are fantastic, but i am getting annoyed about how dependent she is and how much she plays games to get attention. i tried to break up with her over the phone a couple weeks ago after she was giving me shit (can’t fly halfway across the world to do it in person) and she literally begged for me to not. ever since she always brings it up whenever we start to bicker and i can’t stand it.
the other day we were on facetime when she was getting ready to go out and she got so overwhelmed over her outfit she lashed out at me and promptly hung up the phone. i was being supportive the entirety of her breakdown but after that i really just had enough. i told her that’s not fair to lash out at me when i’m trying to be nice and leave me out to dry, and i said i can’t put up with it anymore. and without skipping a beat, she breaks down in tears and says she can’t be without me and how she’s so sorry and it won’t happen again. it is was made me contemplate posting this. this isn’t the first time this has happened either.
when we’re not fighting, she’s the most loving and sweet girl ever. i smother her with attention too. she always tells me she misses me and how i’m her soulmate. she flirts with me over text and i flirt back, but sometimes i feel like i’m forcing myself to do so.
on top of all this, i have started to become head over heels for a girl i work with (we work together at a bar). we click really well and she has feelings for me and we’ve talked about it. i stuck to my guns and told her i’m loyal to my current girlfriend and i’m not going to pursue a relationship with her (even though i really do).
i honestly don’t know what to do. my head says to fix my current relationship but my heart is set on my coworker. i feel like i’m drifting from my gf. i just don’t know how to break up with her because we have vacations planned and she said she already got my birthday gift that’s a month out. i know it’ll break her heart and it’ll break mine too. i’ve been through thick and thin with her but i’ve really about had it.
TLDR: my relationship is starting to make me unhappy and i’m interested in another girl and idk how to break up with my gf.
2 comments
You can’t fix your current relationship. All you can do is finally end it. It’s too broken. Don’t date the other girl. This crush is more likely your heart saying “I’m done with the relationship we’re in!” and not so much that this other girl is right for you.
Looks like you’re after someone who has more emotional independency than your current gf. Have you spoken to her about the issues?