By incredibly racist, I mean he’s been saying things like “n****** should become property again”, “we should send them all back to Africa”, and “we should lynch them”, “we should sell them on Ebay”, and even “we should hunt them into extinction”. And much more. He’s also a huge Johnny Rebel fan. Neither of us are black though; he’s Arab and I’m Indian. What would you do in this scenario?

35 comments

  1. What does this person think about YOU? I can’t imagine being friends with a person like that and I’m white AF.

    I have a feeling he looks at India not being a wealthy nation and sees an inherent flaw in its people. You personally may get an out by being “one of the good ones” but that’s still bigotry since it’s saying your group is generally bad.

    You don’t have to be Black to say something is bigoted against Black people. He’ll at least shut up about it around you if you do that.

  2. I’m a mixed race woman. This guy thinks I should be property. You’re wondering what to do?

    As his friend, you’re giving him tacit support for his ideas.

    ETA: if people say something similarly hateful and unhinged about Arab or Indian people (or anyone else), that person is no longer my friend.

  3. You should tell him you don’t feel comfortable hanging out with him because he keeps making ignorant comments. Might even make him question his stupidity.

  4. If you heard him talk about your people you wouldn’t be his friend. Trust me.

  5. How is this guy your best friend, when he literally says he would enslave and murder people? WTF is wrong with both of you?

  7. Sorry but the fact that he feels comfortable saying this around you as his best friend says something about you…

  9. That’s not someone I would ever associate with again. How utterly abhorrent.

  10. Would have dipped out on him the first time he said something like that. Your friend is lost

  11. Best case, he’s trying to be funny and doesn’t have any jokes except racist edgy humor.

    Make him watch a YouTube video explaining why racism is harmful even when it’s “just a joke”. Here’s a good one: [The PewDiePipeline: how edgy humor leads to violence](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pnmRYRRDbuw)

  12. I think the question should be – what can YOU do?

    This is all about communicating clear boundaries, and understanding that a boundary can ONLY be a boundary if you enforce a consequence.

    So I’ll say this, if your friend truly values you as a friend, you should be able to communicate to him that around you the racism needs to be off the table. If he refuses to do that the consequence needs to be that you’re out. Immediately.

    Honestly, I’ve had to have similar talks with people in my life, and it’s hard, but the sooner you get it off your chest the better. And the thing is, racism shouldn’t be a person’s defining characteristic, you know? It’s not like you’re asking a friend to totally change their personality, but again, if it’s too much for them YOU have to be the change you need. Sucks, but that’s the only way this type of thing works.

  13. I am not advocating for violence, but saying stuff like that is a punching offense. I don’t tolerate intolerance.

  14. I’ve had racist friends in the past and they never went this far. Cut this person off homie.

  18. Yeah, no, stop being their best friend and friend at all. Maybe tell their parents about this. That’s some messed up shit to say.

  20. Once you lose respect for someone due to shitty character, bigotry and hateful heart, you can really never remain friends. To do so would mean you lose self respect.

  21. Tbh man, the hard answer is you need to drop him and get out and meet better people.
    Gonna take a shot in the dark and guess that he talks mad shit about specific people as a habit as well?
    If I’m right you need to ask yourself what he’s saying about you when you’re not around. And no, you aren’t the exception no one is.

  22. It’s not your job to save him from his own ignorance. If he puts those nasty comments in writing he can easily lose his job over it.

  24. Now, probably everyone in the comments isnt Arab or indian. Speaking from experience in this very dynamic, having not been in western society, jokingly being racist is pretty normal. Extreme statements like the ones you mentioned are also normal, and done in good fun, even though it’s not a humor most people find funny or like.

    From my experience, people who do these types of jokes will grow out of it. They’re not inherently racist, they just don’t really realize that this humor isn’t very constructive or relatable. Eventually, they do.

    What you can do is bring up your concerns to him slowly, express you find these jokes boring/unoriginal/too extreme and not really funny. I assume you’re teens, which is why I’m not suggesting to cut them off, since generally people like this need guidance with this sort of thing. Over time, they realize the harm that these jokes bring. It’s not “anti-racism” lessons that they need. It’s perspective.

    If you’re not teens, skip out on that mf. Anyone making those jokes over the age of 22 should really get a life.

  25. Bro just run. If there is hope it’s gonna come from you making sure they realize this isn’t socially acceptable but honestly I’ve been friends with enough of these assholes (not to this extent but just willing to say some awful shit) that they either change when they realize it’s too much or they don’t and you drop them eventually

  26. I’m from western europe and i’m pretty sure neither i nor that person would make the news. correlation is inferred by the reading person.

  30. Ive cut ties with people for way less. You hangin around someone like that will cause people to think youre racist too just because you associate with him. Id put alot of distance between the both of you.

  31. They get dropped without hesitation.

    If he is in America, he should know that racists some hundred years ago would have had no issue beating, hanging and/or burning him alive as weekend entertainment.

  32. Be careful with that kind of friend. They will say that they don’t think the same about you or you’re no like the other if they’re confident enough but in reality they think the same about you.

  34. My best friends years ago became racist against black peoples and Arabs, while he actually was very tanned, almost black (I know it’s ducked up). To explain shortly he joined the police, most of his co-workers were very racist and even supremacist or even Nazi. He got to this mentality slowly, and after few discussions that made me realised how stupid was this guy I moved away from him. I told him many times I can’t accept that, that he should then apply it to himself since he’s mostly black first, but it was useless. Now he’s actually in jail for beating up his gf and he also killed his dog by kicking it. Now I stay away from racists whatever was my relation with them, and I can only recommend you to do the same

  35. “Hey man, it’s been great knowing you, but I really can’t stay friends with someone who has beliefs like this. If you keep talking like this then our friendship is over.”

    I’m guessing he will keep saying that bullshit, so then you just cut contact and go on your way.

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