Every-time my GF goes out she gets so unbelievably drunk that she wets the bed. She somehow gets wasted (and I mean wasted to the point she can barely stand) from 2 – 3 drinks, so you can imagine what’s she’s like when under the influence of her friends all night. Not to mention, she’s just a massive d*ck when she’s drunk. I absolutely hate it when she goes out. It’s Disgusting having to wake up in a wet smelly bed. I’ve started making her sleep on the floor when she’s at my house as that seems to be the only fix. I fear that this might tip me over the edge as it really is unattractive and embarrassing when your partner has 0 self control on her drinking to the point that she wears the bed constantly. Any advice ?
P.s if she had a genuine issue that meant she couldn’t hold it in, it would be different.
39 comments
What is her reaction to this the morning after?
How can someone get that drunk after 2-3 drinks? I couldn’t cope with that either 🤢 just tell her not come to yours after a night out anymore because it’s real turn off when you’re waking up swimming in piss.
She needs to not be drinking at all if she gets that black out after 2 to 3 drinks.
Can you set a boundary that you don’t want her coming over when she’s drunk?
Two thoughts.
One, get a waterproof mattress protector. It won’t help the sheets, but it will definitely save your mattress. Also, pet stores sell damned good urine cleaners.
But the other, more important point – do you seriously want to date someone who thinks this behavior is acceptable? Once, maybe twice could be an accident, but you’re talking about a pattern of irresponsible drinking. That doesn’t make for a good relationship, and it opens the door to other more serious problems. This level of alcohol consumption is the real problem, and she thinks it’s fine. I’d have to reconsider a relationship with someone who has no interest in that level of accountability.
It’s not on you to stop her from drinking. It’s on her to fix her problem. If she won’t…I’d look for someone more responsible.
Don’t let her sleep over on nights when she goes out drinking. Problem solved.
Alternatively, make her put on a pair of Depends on nights when she goes out drinking. Problem solved.
I honestly dunno why you’re wasting your time on her, though. She sounds like she’s got, you know, *issues.*
So regardless of small number of bevvies, she sounds like she has a problem with alcohol and that it is impacting other people (you).
It isn’t her peeing, it is her consuming alcohol apparently. Might be something she can’t do without a diaper.
Can she wear a diaper? I mean, if it happens, then at least she can catch her own piss for you.
That’s alcoholic stuff. 🤦🏾♀️
Get her ass in AA meetings
If your asking for permission to break up with your alcoholic girlfriend who doesn’t care that she drinks and pisses herself… constantly. Yea you have our permission.
why the fuck are you dating a 2 year old
You can’t keep her from drinking or going out but you can keep her from coming back to your place when she’s drunk.
Or you can just dump her. She clearly has a drinking problem and that would be a hard pass for me.
She does have a genuine issue… alcoholism
Obviously the bed wetting is just a symptom of the real problem. “Learn your limits when it comes to alcohol or we’re done. Getting drunk to the point you can’t control your bladder is disgusting and no longer acceptable behavior to me.”
She is an alcoholic , get her some help before it’s to late, watched several friends destroyed by alcohol, if she doesn’t get help you need to leave
Tell her to stop drinking or it’s over. She can only get blackout drunk so many times before her luck runs out and people stop looking after her.
My man, it’s time to get yourself a girlfriend who is not an incontinent alcoholic. You deserve better than this.
Tell her she needs adult diapers that SHE needs to purchase and they also need to be worn all nights as a safety precaution.
Does she take any kind of medication? That can explain the alcohol hitting her like a ton of bricks. Regardless, these are the early signs of an alcoholic and considering the family history she should tread *extremely* lightly with the stuff. I don’t think repeatedly drinking enough to piss the bed meets such criteria. Tell her you’re concerned, not mad, and see how that goes. If she can’t handle it, think about seeking a future with a dryer bed.
The alcoholic-esque behavior is more concerning than pissing the bed
If I wet the bed with my s/o one single time, I think I would simply evaporate out of embarrassment. At the least, I would stop drinking forever, change my name and move out of the country. The fact that she’s not even that concerned about it is insane. I wonder if she sees her mom wet the bed and is desensitized to it? There’s nothing you can do here to change this. You can’t make her care more or see that how she’s acting is disgusting. You are NOT obligated to take care of her. You can be a friend from a distance, if you choose, but you’re also allowed to break up on the spot and just not talk to her again.
If you decide try to save this relationship, the boundary should be she doesn’t drink alcohol at all or you are done with her. She’s an alcoholic. If she won’t admit it and work on stopping, you have no chance at good relationship with her and it’s time to go. The bedwetting, as gross as it is, is only a symptom of the disease.
I broke up with an otherwise nice girl because she had to drink everyday. She could not not drink, even for one day. I knew where that was heading so I sadly told her it wasn’t working for me. So….
If she’s getting blackout, piss yourself drunk after 2-3 drinks, then first of all – I think she’s lying to you about how many drinks she’s having when she goes out. Either that, or she’s got an intolerance to alcohol. Regardless, she should stop drinking.
This isn’t normal behavior. But know this, OP: she won’t stop drinking until she’s ready to stop drinking. It’s completely valid to not want to be with someone who behaves like that when they drink, especially if they refuse to stop drinking. But she won’t get sober until she’s ready, even if it means losing you.
Not cool.
I’m sure you’ve spoken to her about this. Maybe have one more convo and if that doesn’t work then call it quits.
You are too young to be dealing with this crap
Sounds like an alcoholic. Tell her she needs to cut back or she’s gonna be cleaning her messes and need to purchase you a new bed eventually.
If my man told me that, I’d be embarrassed after and think about my actions.
I’ve gotten drunk enough to be sick on the floor twice, and my partner had to help clean it up because I wasn’t sober enough yet. it embarrassed and ashamed me enough I haven’t repeated it. I cannot imagine living with myself or anyone else who repeatedly wets the bed, especially by their own lack or self control.
Your girlfriend has a drinking and a self respect issue. This would be an ultimatum for me- one more time, and the relationship is absolutely done.
She’s having more than 2-3 drinks if she’s wetting herself, losing bladder control is a sign of alcohol poisoning (and a healthy adult doesn’t get alcohol poisoning on just 2-3 drinks!). I think your GF has an alcohol problem that she’s not being honest with you about.
“Any advice?”
Well yeah, but nothing you can’t come up with on your own. It would make more sense for you to explain why you’re tolerating this than for other people to tell you what you already know
The only time I’ve ever slapped a person was when my (ex) husband woke me up after a night of binge drinking by pissing all over my text books next to my side of the bed. Apparently it seemed like a urinal to his brain at the time. We didn’t last a lot longer after that and while I find it almost inexcusable to hit someone, I was in quite the state of shock and rage. All that to say…. This behaviour is not ok and absolutely, understandably, a deal breaker.
Being so young, you have no obligation ever to anybody to stay in a relationship. I’d get out of that hot mess (pun intended).
She is not regularly getting wasted off 2-3 drinks, you just don’t know about the 4 she has before those.
She needs to see a doctor. There is something wrong with the way her body metabolizes alcohol. She should not be getting blitzed from 2-3 drinks. And considering her family history, she should probably not be drinking at all.
Dated a gal that got wine drunk and came over. Worried, I put her to bed to sleep it off.
Gets up to go to the restroom and comes back. She was sloppy drunk and wanted to smash but I didn’t. Frustrated she yells “is it because I shat on your rug?”
I get up and see the other angle of the disaster from eddie murphies daddy daycare.
Projectile. Both ends.
Didn’t seem to understand why I ended it and didn’t want to talk to her again afterwards.
Are you sure she only has 2-3 drinks or is that what she tells you?
Depending on what medications she’s on I suppose 2-3 drinks could get you pretty tipsy but it shouldn’t get her plastered to the point she can’t control her bladder. My bet is she is drinking a lot more than she tells you.
She’s an alcoholic.
Man I know you want to break up with her and you don’t need our permission but…you have our permission.
Been there, had an ex who did this when he was drunk. Trust me when I say that I wish I would have left earlier, and not put up with this deal breaking bullshit.
And I don’t wish I left because he wet the bed- I wish I left because he was a terrible horrible person when he was drunk, and honestly a pretty crappy person when he was sober too, because he was so often drunk or messed up and never putting any energy into working on himself.
A partner like this will drag you down. It’s a hard truth. All the things you’re describing are red flags I saw when I was exactly your age, in my own partner.
You’re so young. Leave now. The battle with alcoholism and your girlfriend is likely only beginning.
Sweetheart, you need to get rid of this girl. Her mother is an alcoholic and she is following the same path. You DO NOT want to be dealing with this at your age. If she’s like this now, just imagine what she’ll be like in 5 years?! She’s not your responsibility, get rid of her, you deserve better.
“I have tried to talk to you about your drinking before. I have expressed that I find it disgusting that you urinate in my bed. You’ve promised me numerous times now that you would work on this behavior. I have observed that you hold up to that for 14-21 days. And you then return to my home and repeat the same disgusting behavior.
“I love you but I will no longer tolerate this. Your drinking has become a problem for me even if it isn’t a problem for you. Soiling my bed and floor every 2-3 weeks is not something I’m going to tolerate any longer. I am losing my desire to remain In This relationship. I am not telling you that you have to change because that’s your choice. I am telling you that if you don’t address your drinking this relationship is over.
“My requirements to remain in this relationship are that you start seeing a therapist to address your binge drinking and how you got here. That the binge drinking episodes stop. That you take accountability for the damage you’re doing to my home, our relationship , and my property.
“This may be difficult for you. Change doesn’t happen overnight. But this cannot continue. I will not live this way. I will not be caught in a toxic cycle of substance abuse. I will not be pressured to drink with you so that your actions seem right. I will not share a home or bed with someone who uses emotional manipulation and verbal abuse to gain access to substances. I will not live in ground hog day for a moment longer. You either commit to making changes or this relationship is over.”