Hi everyone,
Me (27M) and this girl I like, **Jenna** (26F), knew each other for a bunch of years through Instagram. She lives far from me and it takes almost half a day by train to reach her. We share a lot of interests in common, we listen to the same niche music, we believe in the same niche spiritual stuff, we both like mountains and hiking and much more. I’ve tried for a long time to get closer to her via chat but for most of the time it seemed impossible to go for more of a bunch of texts, she seemed quite distant in the communication side and I’ve given up to pursue her.
Last **november** she invited me to her city/house for a concert, and we met for the first time. I was surprised to know right there that she had a **BF**, so nothing more than friendship happened between us, I didn’t even try to hit on her in any way. But I’ve discovered we got along quite well in person and she is WAY more chatty in real life. I was a bit crushing on her, she seemed the ideal girl I would like to stay with. She invited me again for a bunch of times for other concerts and even a travel together with some friends and her BF and during this period of time I’ve got the chance to really appreciate her as a friend, as it is.
I’ve also got **engaged** with another girl in the meanwhile and it sounded weird to me that **Jenna** was a lot curious about her and I was suspecting a liiiiittle inch of jealousy. Ultimately it didn’t last long with this girl, so we broke up, and Jenna called me to know everything about what happened. She was a lot **supportive**, protective and listened to me in a very attentive way, honestly I wasn’t expecting this deepness from her. I’m REALLY glad to have her in my life, even if it required years to get so close to her. At the moment I wasn’t even crushing on her anymore.
Slowly, but quicker than before, I’m noticing that things between us are starting to **change** a little bit lately. She texts me to tell me important things, sometimes we talk about daily stuff and she involves me in important **decisions** of her. She mentioned that I’m somehow better than her **therapist** and she trusts me. One of these decisions was about an important life choice to change everything, go living abroad in nature in a few months and, as a consequence, to also make her **relationship open**. Indeed she talked with her BF about everything and they are now in an open relationship.She wants to have more life experiences, also sexually. She told me about **another guy** she met recently and she felt instant connection for him. There isn’t availability for them to get together so I think it just involves sex, as she highlighted unsatisfaction in bed with her current BF.
Now, at this point I would have to be pretty much sure I’m just a friend-shoulder to cry on, as a good friend should indeed be. No big deals if this is the boundary of my role. But there are **2 main things** which are confusing me and suggesting there could be… “more”. And if this is the case I don’t want to be naive and lose an opportunity out of dumbness.
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1. **More frequent requests of seeing me**:
During this long conversation also happened that she proposed me a lot of stuff, concerts, travels to do with me, counting at least 4 times to meet in different instances (censoring recognizable names, of course):
\- Are you coming to event XX in my city in a few weeks?
\- So… when are you coming to visit me? | You don’t know when?? That’s reeeally bad.
\- I will stay in vacation in XX a few weeks in august, I’ve an house there. Come visit me a few days, we will have fun and hikes together.
\- In september there will be events XX, YY and ZZ. Can we go together?
Two weeks ago she also asked me if she could come to visit me (alone).
Ok ok… I know she invited me to her place even before, but it seems there is A LOT of hurry right now.
2. **Flirting with music?**
She mentioned her way of flirting is sending music. After saying it, she is sending me stuff to listen to, even out of nowhere. We never sent each other tracks back and forth like that before.
I will be honest with y’all: if sex will anytime happen between me and Jenna, I would be happy to do it, it would satisfy a fantasy I’ve had for her for a long time, but **I’m not seeking to evolve this in a r\\s**, she is not mentally in a situation that would make it possible. I care about her as a friend and I would enjoy if it transformed into a casual **FWB** situation, but I’ve never had one before so I don’t know how they start and if this is the case.
Does anybody else have experience in a situation like this? Am I reading too much into it? Is it worth getting this window of opportunity with the same hurry she transmits me?
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**TLDR**: A distant girl I knew for some years while she had a BF, even inviting me to her place in a friendly manner, is now in an open relationship and seems a lot more present in my life. She has another guy in line who she is crushing on. She mentioned I’m better than her therapist but asked me to meet many times during a same discussion, invited me again at another place of her and started to share music with me after mentioning that’s her flirting style.