I had an interesting convo with my bf the other day. He was shocked when I explained that most women wash up really well if they think sex (especially with oral or butt stuff as a possibility) is gonna happen.

Like, we clean our assholes and stuff. We do the sniff test and stick our fingers up there and make sure they don’t smell after.

BF had NO IDEA I was doing this. He just thought, “hey assholes don’t smell that bad”

Which means the he DOESNT clean his asshole like I clean mine. He has no idea that his asshole actually smells pretty terrible at all times and even if I’m just going down on him, I can smell it. And I wonder if that’s because guys don’t know just how much women are doing behind the scenes to make things pristine for them.

Do you think this is true? I’m curious—how much do you pay attention to your cleanliness down there before you’re with a partner?

48 comments

  2. Most men know how to clean their butthole, seems your bf has poor hygiene routine

  3. Honestly, a lot of people don’t learn the basics of good hygiene growing up. Anecdotally, men seem more likely to have missed these lessons than women but it’s not like anyone is immune from “not washing their ass properly.”

    But OP: I hope to god you told your BF “his asshole actually smells pretty terrible at all times and even if I’m just going down on him, I can smell it.” Because if I were your BF, I’d be horrified to realize this and I’d want to take pro-active steps to prevent this.

    Personally, I almost always shower before sex and I always wash my ass when I do because, to me, it’s just being considerate to my partner (plus it makes me feel more comfortable knowing that I’ll be naked with a clean ass!)

    It can also help to buy a bidet seat. Highly recommend.

  4. People with clean butts are dying of thirst in the desert….and this is the guy that gets the oasis.

    Smh

    Edit: as a guy I always clean my butt before sex. Even if we arent doing butt stuff

    I clean my butt ever damn day just because.

  5. In the shower, after soaping it thoroughly, bend over and use the pulsate function of the handheld shower head to waterboard the butthole. Cleans it nicely and also feels pretty fuckin’ good, too.

  7. Umm. This is not a female versus male thing. This is not a “behind the scenes” thing.

    This is just a simple basic hygiene thing.

    My wife and I both use wet wipes to freshen up before we have or think we are going to have sex.

  9. Reading this just made me want to take a shower you clean everything else. Last thing you do scrub the asshole real good and if you need something for a quick freshen up it’s nice to have dude wipes around.

  10. My husband washes his ass.

    This is an issue with your boyfriend. Not with men.

    Tell your boyfriend that he needs to wash his ass before sex. And stop giving him oral when you can smell his ass.

  11. My wife says it looks like I’m shoving a bar of soap up my ass in the shower

  13. Why do people talk about inserting a soapy finger in their butt. It’s not good for the butthole to do that. Only do soap on the outside. People shouldn’t put stuff that is drying inside them.

  14. A bidet. It’s a $20 and ten minute installment product and I’m seriously confused why any person would not have these in their homes. Like if you had poo on your face you would not smear it off with a dried paper towel. You would wash that shit off. Shouldn’t we do that in places that will be marinating all day and potentially having someone’s face all up in it??

  16. My wife was shocked that I smell my ass * finger* each time I shower. I dont do butt stuff I just wanna be clean

  19. I assume most straight men dont expect butt stuff to happen to them. So they’ll wash their butthole when they shower but not right before sex.

  20. It’s not true for everyone, I wash all my junk every day, and always shower before sex.

  22. no not all guys are like this i’ve been shaving and wiping scrubbing my ass daily with steel wool and medical grade alcohol

  23. Soap, wash cloth, water, scrub, rinse, repeat as necessary. You know, having a bidet was life changer. If you haven’t got one yet I highly recommend it.

  24. holy fuck there’s no way you can smell his asshole while sucking dick… leave him right now please

  25. My person’s butthole NEVER smells like smelly butthole. If it ever smells like anything it’s sweat and it’s wonderful. If he poops and knows we’re going to have sex he takes a shower. If it’s just on a whim, he uses butt wipes anyway..
    Sounds like this dude in particular just doesn’t have good hygiene..

  26. Who’s not washing their butt?

    Male or female

    Wtf am I missing here?

    That said fwiw…and I’m obviously excluding direct butt stuff here…but I actually like going down on my girl after we’ve been working in the garden all day and she’s all salty and sweaty down there

    But she always tastes and smells great so it’s not like she stacking that on top of some unhealthy stank either

    Still…doesn’t happen often as even though I tell her that straight up she still seems to not believe me for some reason and worry about it…and has to take a bath

    I’d rather just get it on more…sweaty or not

    And yes…i thoroughly wash my ass

  27. I feel like a lot of men don’t know how to clean their ass or think it’s “gay” to. You need a rag and soap

  28. As several people have said it’s worth getting a bidet. They’re really normal in a lot of countries outside the US. The only downside to having one is that going anywhere else without one feels downright uncivilized after you have one.

  29. I think there IS a bit of a male-female thing. And to be clear, I’m a man and I clean my asshole. But I didn’t always. Not only was I not taught to do so, I was actively taught NOT to clean it. As a little kid I was told that wiping with toilet paper after you poop was enough. I’ve talked with other guys who were told the same thing. Is it because they were afraid we’d be stimulated? I dunno. But there are definitely people out there who don’t want boys touching their butts.

  30. I’m male and I’m beyond paranoid about the state of my asshole even if I’m expecting to get a hand job

  31. No one ever taught me how, but I’ve always been very diligent about staying clean down there. I was told even before my first time having sex that you should always be squeaky clean before being with someone as you never know where the action may roam.

    As an aside, I’m sad to report that not all women seem to be as careful and courteous as you. Many’s the time I’ve found a young lady’s hygiene to be as bad as your boyfriend’s. 🤢

  33. I most certainly do not stick my fingers up there but I also don’t do butt stuff

  34. Girl how the fuck do you not throw up when you’re giving head and you can smell his ass!!! I wanna cry just thinking about it. I think you need to have a serious discussion with him because those standards you set for him are too low.

  35. Every single time I’m going to get a blowjob from the wife, I hop in the shower and do a quick soap and water scrub and rinse of everything between my knees and hips…. Not inserting fingers in my ass and sniffing though… Goddamn

  36. I wash my ass even when I know I’m NOT getting laid. I hate having swamp ass.

  37. 1. Clean your buttholes with soap and water regardless of gender
    2. Do not put soap inside your rectum, i.e. past your butthole

    This has been a PSA.

  38. One time I scratched my ass and than proceeded to itch my nose…
    To put it simply I learn that day.

  39. Jesus… I’m a gay man so this absolutely repulses me. If you can smell his ass just by blowing him there is a serious problem with his hygiene, from wiping properly to showering. That is foul. I’m so sorry to straight women, JFC.

  40. Every fwb I’ve ever been with has showered before coming over, because nothing else makes a partner wants to fuck you, more than a clean body

    In a relationship, if it’s spontaneous, it’s usually a quick rinse in the bathroom before jumping into the deed.

    I’ve no idea how your boyfriend doesn’t think a clean bodily hygiene would guarantee an even better sexy time.

    He’s one of the unfortunate gross poor hygiene men that people usually complain about lmao

  41. Coming back to my place, from a date, it was simple.
    1) The small enema bulb. Warm water, 3 bulbs, real quick. Wipe.
    2) I always have a package of washable shea-coco butter wipes. Again, 2nd wipe.
    3) hot water, wash cloth. All around the rod and tackle. Finish off with S-CB wipes.
    4) Brush teeth.

    If her place:
    1) perform #2, with pocket package of wipes.
    2) perform #3, no wash cloth. 2 wipes together.
    3) Hate to say it, #4 with a dab of their toothpaste, warm water, swish, spit, rinse, spit.

    Yeah, I know. I have OCD, sue me lol

  42. I’ve never put a finger in my anus to clean it. I wash my ass and the rim but never inside with soap. Same goes for my vagina.
    My boyfriend’s ass only smells when he’s been working all day and sweating or when he just finished taking a dump. He uses wet wipes and washes his ass thoroughly with soap twice a day.
    Why and how people go down on someone with poopsmell lingering is beyond me.

  43. Wait.. sniff test?? I’m a woman and never heard of this. I clean myself everywhere very thoroughly 1-2 times a day, and before sex, but have never even thought of sniffing anything.

  44. I don’t know any man that sticks his finger up his butt to clean it BUUUUTT I’ve never smelled dirty ass in my life bruh. Something ain’t right.

  45. I use white washcloths to bathe, and one of the most satisfying things to do in shower is to scrub my ass crack real good and look at the white washcloth to make sure I got it all

  46. You finger your butthole? I shower with my gf and I can say I clean mine much better but fingers ain’t going inside.

  47. You seem a little extreme with your fingers and sniff tests. If I think oral might be on the table I will make sure I am freshly showered and clean. But I’m not sticking my fingers in my butt or vag and sniffing them. For PIV I might just do a quite clean up in the bathroom if I don’t feel like a need another shower just yet. I’ve never felt the need to ask my bf how he washes his butthole…since neither of us are into butt stuff and all I smell when going down on him is either his musk or soap.

  48. Usually with a toile scrubber, some bleach and some industrial weed killer.

    But on the real, if I know it’s going to happen I like to try and freshen up a bit. But I also try and do this throughout the day. I typically shower at least once but most of the time, twice a day. So while in there I make sure to get my nooks and crannies and up in the crannies as well. Why? Because I have an awful fear of skid marks. My step dads underwear always had them. Fucking gross man. So yeah, guys, if you aren’t washing your asshole and between your toes…go do that.

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