So, my boyfriend and I have been together for 7 months already. In the beginning it was more “normal” but like from the past 3 months he wants to have sex 3 times a day. We do it when we wake up, lunch time and before sleeping. Before sleeping we do it twice. I like sex but I really don’t think this is normal. He is a nice guy but sometimes it’s too much for me. I’m never forced, of course. But I wanted to find some ways of telling him I’m not up for it 24/7 without hurting him…
16 comments
How is it possible to get anything done with this much fucking? I’d simply say that sex with him is very enjoyable, but that you’re just not up for it several times a day.
If it’s like three times every day. Just tell him bluntly I would suggest. Tell him you enjoy it (if you do) but that the frequency is a lot for you. Maybe suggest another way to get him of ? And maybe add also if you are sore. That may also be a reason for him to take it better.
Mismatched libidos are a very common issue among couples. The frequency which you are comfortable having sex is very normal, and the frequency which your partner wants to have sex is also normal. There’s a pretty wide range for how often a person desires sex, and it sounds like both of you are sitting in pretty normal positions on the “bell curve” but your desires still don’t align. You should definitely take some time to talk about how much sex you are both comfortable having and make sure that you are not being pressured into more than you want, and that he is not missing out on a basic level of comfort and desire.
Addiction implies the need for sex is substantially interfering with a person’s work, school, sleep or their ability to otherwise take care of themselves, AND they are unable to meaningfully reduce that need. I can’t say whether this meets that criteria for addiction, but this level of desire for sex sounds very mundane. I would not worry about his health or well being in regards to sex.
Just by reading the posts he “might” just be an addict. Will he jerk himself off if you don’t have sex with him? I mean, if he feels he a absolutely must cum no less than 3 times every single day? Sounds very close to an addiction to me.
>I think my boyfriend is a sex addict
That’s a pretty heavy word. You could just say that he has a higher libido than you and could have a talk with him about that and get the things on your mind out and convey your side of things and get to work out the possibilities.
I’ve been with my wife 7 years now and I still want sex 3 times a day. I’m sure he expects the sex to slow down so he is getting what he can while he can.
Just start saying no with things like You wore me out, I can’t handle any more of that dick.
Find ways of slowly slowing it down to your pace. If he says something like what happen to the good ol days of 3 times a day?
You respond with Valentines Day/Birthday/etc.. is right around the corner. My wife has been masterful with this approach. It doesn’t bruise my ego and keeps me hungry for more.
I saw you are in a long distance relationship. Is this after long separation?
Everyone has a different libido and different chemistry. At 64 I enjoy having sex 2 to 3 times a day. It may not be everyday because of our schedules but if scheduling wasn’t an issue it probably would be. It is not the wham bam thank ya ma’am kind of sex. It has more to do with love affection and a deep desire for each other. I am fortunate enough to have a younger girlfriend (14 years) who appreciates being loved and adored and feeling safe. There are times when we just may get lost in a kiss for what seems like an eternity and evolves into a passionate session of touching an love making. Who wouldn’t want that more than once a day?
As a woman, I desire Sex with my partner when I see him, 2-3x’ a day. And he’s all for it cause he was use to ex’s only wanting sex once a month.
Some people have higher libidos than others.
The thing is do you want to have duty sex and feel like a masturbation flesh light by doing it 3x’s a day?
Cause that’s what he’s turning you into due to you feeling obligated and not wanting sex.
If you feel you can’t put up with it, directly tell him in a tactful way that gets the light across.
Something like, “I care about our sex life, but I do not have a sex drive as high as yours. I can do it once a day or once every two days. But if you gotta masturbate after we already did it once, that is perfectly fine. But do not maje it a habit to choose pen over our sex life, because if you do our relationship is done and I walk. You are responsible for your masturbating habit to not get out of hand if porn is involved.”
Boundaries are only a thought being expressed if you do not attach a consequence & stick to it.
I’m gonna say he has become more into you.. Men that do will want more of that closeness.. Try making it something to excite him about on certain days and him understand that you may need a bit of recovery.. Been with my lady for 3 yrs and I’m still that way and she isn’t at all that way. I’m 49 and she is 38… Find some compromise
Out of control sexual behavior. There is no diagnosis of sex addiction. I would find a sex therapist.
Me and my GF, 2x a day for the last 2 years, hardly any quickies. We both happen to like this frequency, and it’s new for both of us. I’m 50, she’s 44!
If my wife was down, I’d have sex 3 times a day. Just let him know you like him, but that he shouldn’t expect this amount on a regular basis.
He prolly hit his Twitter rate limit
I doubt he’s a sex addict. I’m in my 40’s and that sounds ideal to me. It’s just a mismatched libido situation.
Based on what you wrote, I wouldn’t say he’s a sex addict, I’d only say that you and your boyfriend have mismatched libidos.
See, I’m a woman, and me and my boyfriend both have extremely high sex drives. We’ve done it about 7 times in the past 3-4 days and we’re still going. Sometimes we do it A LOT more than 2-3 times a day, but that doesn’t mean we’re addicts, we just have unusually high libidos. And we’re really lucky to both be with eachother, because it’s rare to find someone with the same sex drive as you. That being said, if every time you say no (which you are 100% entitled to remember that!!), if he needs to run off to the bathroom to masturbate everytime you deny sex, THEN that might be a problem. There’s a difference between always being horny and NEEDING to cum multiple times a day.
Because for reference, when I’m with my boyfriend, I’m always horny. We sometimes have sex 5 times a day and it’s still not enough. But if we don’t see eachother for a few days, I’ll very rarely masturbate. So maybe your boyfriend is like me, if you get what I mean?
Just try talking to him, put your boundaries. If the problem really is that he has a higher sex drive, then maybe try to compromise ? Instead of sex, give him a handjob or a blowjob, and then go on with your day.
Remember people, communication is key
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