I want to know if there is any fixing this, because last time we had sex was awful. He is my ex (we spent 3.5 years together), but we’ve supposedly spent the last 6 months “working towards getting back together”.
He came and picked me up, refused to talk to me because he was “tired”, made an angry scene in the middle of the restaurant, watched TikTok videos the entire time while I ate alone at the restaurant because he refused to eat or talk, took me to the mall but refused to go in stores with me, etc. After the mall, he finally spoke up and said, “Where do you want to go next?” I said, “Take me home.” He got mad about that and started yelling at me. He told me that he never wants a relationship with me again and doesn’t want to talk to me most days because he “has a life”. He also told me that what was going on in his life was none of my business, and he randomly blurted out that white people would be the only ones stupid enough to try to see the Titanic (I am white).
I asked to go home, but he didn’t take me home. Instead he took me someplace where we could have sex. When I saw that’s what he was doing, I started complaining to him, “How come lately you don’t care if I cum anymore?” He said, “I don’t know.”
He told me, “Pull your pants down so I can eat your p****.” I just sat there. I mean, he was just yelling at me, he didn’t even kiss me, etc. He just randomly told me to pull my pants down. I just stared at him and didn’t move. He was angry that I didn’t listen and snapped, “Look, I’m trying to please you now since you say I haven’t been.” Because I wasn’t cooperating in the middle of our fight, he was so angry that he hit himself in the head and then ranted that he made his ear ring from hitting himself in the head. He was also so angry about me not cooperating that he bit himself in the arm. He was acting so crazy, and it’s been a long time since I’ve seen him do things like that. Eventually I just pulled my pants down because I didn’t want to deal with his reaction if I didn’t.
Mid oral sex, he complained to me, “You’re not into this.” His next words were, “Give me a condom.” I didn’t want to make him more upset, so I gave him a condom. Needless to say, he called all the shots during sex too. I did manage to orgasm from PIV though.
Afterwards, he took me home like I had originally asked. He never did kiss me that day. And he told me that he really does want a relationship with me and he just said otherwise because he was upset, but he calmed down after sex.
After that, I refused to see him this weekend. And I feel like I don’t need sex and would rather just use a toy. I always thought sex was a need of mine, but suddenly I feel like I don’t need it. I can’t figure out why I suddenly feel so differently.
Is there a way to fix this at this point? It’s hard because normally he’s nice, and normally he’s there for me more than anyone.
TL;DR: Angry guy who refused to talk to me insisted on sex with me. He was hitting himself in the head and bitting himself when I wouldn’t cooperate.
33 comments
There’s nothing in this story that makes me understand why you would possibly want to continue seeing this person.
There’s nothing to fix here. Remain exes and move on.
The sex is the least of your problems. Stop trying to work back together with this awful person.
Reading this made me feel sad and icky.
WTF. This is very concerning and coercive behavior. No one would feel turned on by this kind of manipulation and coercion. At the least this is coercive… if not worse.
Run really far away, and please take careful measures to make sure you are safe and surrounded by people you trust to protect you because this man is unhinged and possibly violent.
Like don’t be alone with him, lock your doors and windows, or stay with a friend/family.
This guy is really, really not OK and I worry for you.
I am afraid for you, he’s probably going to kill you at some point. Actual serial killers treats their spouses better than this.
Walk away ….. no ….. run away from this guy. From what you have wrote this guy is a dick head. You dont need that sort of person in your life at all. Stay single and find someone who will treat you right.
Yikes girl. No no no
This story you just shared is scary. Doesn’t sound like there are many upsides to being with this dude. Im sure you can do better than that.
Here’s some relationship advice for y’all. Don’t.
You’re a grown ass woman. Please have self-respect and walk away.
Why would one WANT to have this? Is it worth it? That’s purely a personal choice, but I say hell no. See it for what it is and move on
There is no fixing this, and why would you want to? He sounds like a complete waste of time. Dump him and celebrate.
Let me list the reasons why this guy sucks and you should break up with him
1. He acts like a child throwing a tantrum and gives you the silent treatment
2. He yelled at you for your very reasonable reaction of wanting to go home after he acted incredibly shitty
3. His rant is unhinged and anyone who actually loves you like a partner and equal would never speak to you like that, even in anger
4. When you told him you wanted to go home, he took you somewhere else for the sole purpose of having sex with you like an object
5. After sex he’s trying to manipulate you into staying with him and suffering his abuse because he got what he wanted out of you and doesn’t need to force it anymore
Now I’m going to list what makes him an unhinged and dangerous person to be around
1. He forced oral on you when you very clearly didn’t want it
2. He’s hurting himself when you aren’t giving him what he wants, which only escalated the more you said no
3. He raped you. I’m sorry, but this was rape. Forced coercion to have sex is rape
His emotional turbulence is only going to escalate no matter what you do and someone with a temperament isn’t going to stop or get better even if you give him exactly what he wants. Please please please leave
There are murderers in prison who probably have more class than this fool. Don’t ruin your life by going back to this creep
Yo wtf. This guy raped you OP. Dump his ass, never talk to him again and move on with your life. Maybe get some therapy too. This is so so far from normal behavior and I worry about your judgment skills if you can’t see how fucked up this whole situation is.
You in danger girl
This sounds traumatizing. This made me feel gross just reading it. You deserve better. He sounds absolutely awful
What can this man do for you to break up with him? It seems like he can’t do any worse.
This is a domestic violence call waiting to happen.
End this train wreck now.
I wish I couldn’t read.
That was sexual assault. OP you were raped. You said no, he continued. You can file police charges. He is an abuser.
This link helps you identify abuse:
https://www.thehotline.org/identify-abuse/power-and-control/
What you need to do is block him on every single social media platform, block his number, and go to therapy. You need professional help. You are no longer able to recognize what a healthy relationship is like. You need to learn how to make boundaries in a relationship, and how to maintain them.
That was not sex. That was rape.
Im sorry but are u dating nick cannon
Wtf darlin he’s crazy 🤪 get a restraining order
Never talk to this guy again.
File a police report for date rape he raped u
U don’t want to fux anything there’s nothing to fix.
Good luck
He raped you. Sorry that happened. Never see this manchild rapist again.
I literally don’t understand how these people ever have sex or relationships in the first place. Is this what you think men are like? I’m flabbergasted that you ever spent a single DAY with this person. Stop sleeping with HUGE PIECES OF SHIT.
His mask finally came off. His being there more for you than anyone else was all a lie. Abusers do that, that was the honeymoon period and now the real person has emerged. You don’t want sex anymore because you were raped.
He wants someone he can sexually & verbally abuse with working towards physically abuse ontop of it.
Might want to read up on the red flags of abuse and such. Do lots of research.
Men like this do murder their partners, usually once they get them pregnant. Save your life by blocking him everywhere.
PLEASE seek rape & abuse counciling or therapy to help you deal with all the trauma you have been put through.
Dear god woman get some self esteem and leave this crazy guy before he hurts you. He’s a psycho.
If you continue seeing him, you’re going to end up a victim in one of my true crime videos. I guarantee it.
Looking at your post history is beyond concerning. I have no idea who or what in your life made you believe you are so goddamn worthless that *this* is how you deserve to be treated. This is not ok at all, it wasn’t ok 2 years ago, it wasn’t ok 1 year ago it is not ok now. Idk what went wrong in your life that you only know this kind of relationship and don’t think something better exists or that you deserve better. But for the love of god get away from this monster before you get k*lled. This is serious, it stopped being funny 3 years ago. Wake up please.
He raped you. He forced you to engage in sexual activities when you didn’t want to.
Behaviour like this can escalate to physical harm beyond what he’s done here. Please, don’t give him that chance. Block him everywhere and take out a restraining order. Tell trusted friends and family what happened and have them help you remain safe.
Never, ever, ever get back together with this person.
This is the scariest shit on Reddit. Looks like I need a break for a week,
Goodbye.
Holy Shit Post History!!
We cannot help you. You are clearly not taking in any advice or listening at all or willing to make any changes.
He sounds absolutely horrible.
But I actually think that isn’t even the biggest concern here, please seek therapy immediately.
You gave into having sex with him because you didn’t want to anger him ?????honey this isn’t somebody you should be seeing at all this man is garbage. Throws a temper tantrum like A child forces cunnilingus on you and then demands to have you get him a condom and have more sex !?!?!?!? Did I get this right this guy is garbage. And that’s rape it doesn’t matter that you complied you didn’t want to and his actions were scaring you into doing it. You need to talk to somebody that can help you clearly see your way out of this relationship safely.