I recently got married 3 months back. It was an arranged marriage (it’s still common in my place). The arranged marriage happened with both of our consents. I love my wife so so much. She says she loves me too. However as title says she refuses to post anything of us together on her social media or update her profile status. She uses Instagram often and occasionally posts pictures of herself alone. This seems like a slight red flag for me. I am fairly new to relationships so is this common? Am I reading too much into this? Also do I need to see a therapist for being so paranoid about this? Never knew loving someone can be so scary.
34 comments
Lol. This is one of the biggest red flags possible.
She doesn’t respect you or the relationship.
You both should go to couples therapy to get to the bottom of this, assuming you want to stay with her.
It’s definitely a red flag. You guys are married.
She wants people to think she’s single. Red flag!
Your wife is single on social media so she can maintain her “friends” and make new ones.
She obviously doesn’t love you. What options do you have to divorce? She’s not into you.
Did your wife actually *want* to get married to you, or was she forced to get married by her family and they would have cut her off or disowned her?
She may have “consented” to keep her parents happy but had she been given freedom of choice, she would not have married you.
She enjoys attention from other men. Some men actually respect a relationship so it would cut the number of men hitting on her.
You should talk to your wife to see if she actually wanted to marry you, or if she only did so because of external pressure.
Yup that’s a compete 🚩. It would seem she would rather all her male admirers think she is single still. Validation
It sounds like she still wants to be considered single… Divorce her and make her dreams come true.
She can’t let the other guys know she’s off the market silly.
She doesn’t love you and was forced to marry you.
LMajor red flag.
You dont need therapy, instead you need to have a serious conversation with your wife. Did she get married for the sake of it or is she truely committed? If its the latter then het behaviour needs to change.
Three months is not a veey long time, get this sorted no or regret it at a later date. Good luck.
My ex gf also did this exact thing. Turns out she was cheating on me and didn’t want the guy to see that we were still together.
WHAT’S UP GUYS, IT’S u/MODSGETTHEGUILLOTINE
DON’T FORGET TO LIKE, SUBSCRIBE, AND **SMASH THAT DIVORCE BUTTON**
Yes, it’s a red flag. People are focusing on the culture, not on the relationship.
If this was a Western relationship/marriage, the answers would all be “yes”. It’s a red flag. The fact that she won’t acknowledge your relationship or post photos of you together says that she wants people to think she is single. You can decide for yourself what that means and who it relates to.
Good luck
Oh, my dear paranoid friend, it seems like your wife is living a double life as the Invisible Woman! Therapy might help, or maybe she’s just shy about showing off her superpowers.
There’s a sub for discussion around arranged marriages, conveniently called r/arrangedmarriage.
I recommend you go there. There’s a sh!t tonne of very specific insight a general audience just isn’t gonna have.
That is not “normal”. Seems like she doesn’t want to be married.
Done.
Maybe for a minute maybe consider she didn’t “consent” to be in an arranged marriage.
Honestly, cultural norms aside, why in hell would you want to be in a lifelong relationship with someone who didn’t love you organically?
This is what I would call – Nope! I’ll see myself out of this marriage
Why do you care what her Facebook status says? Plenty of married people don’t splash details on the internet – I never have and never will!
Some people prefer privacy over strangers who don’t even know them, let alone care about them.
Try actually LIVING your life instead of worrying about bragging to strangers about being married.
You sir are a convenience item for this woman. Sadly, convenience items are generally disposable to the user. Like the bic lighter or disposable razor. Been there. I suggest you have a close look at who puts what into the relationship. What you’re telling us is all red flags.
Are you two even married? Are you sure you exist?
Your wife is single and you are married. Take what you want with that statement…but if you can’t read between the lines – no one can help you.
Divorce
You just got into a loveless marriage dude. No matter what your culture says, you might be forced to marry somebody, but you can’t be forced to love somebody.
I don’t mean to be disrespectful, I’m just stating the reality of this kind of situation.
What disappointing comments. OP is asking a question in earnest and honestly looking for advice. No need to be hurtful. OP, as another commenter suggested, r/arrangedmarriage might be a better community for this question
How long have you actually known one another?
Ask her to be honest with you, because that’s a red flag
She was in love with someone else. Still sees herself single.
《《She uses Instagram often and occasionally posts pictures of herself alone.》》
Hasn’t completely transitioned to the arranged marriage.
《《She says she loves me too.》》
Her “I LOVE YOUs” are superficial.
《《I love my wife so so much.》》
You don’t fall in love in 3 months, it takes time, married or not.
《《Also do I need to see a therapist》》
Do talk to one.
People are being needlessly blunt to you here. You are obviously committed to this marriage and an honest person,it’s great you went in with that mindset. I really hope you can both talk and get to know each other, perhaps in time you can connect so she can really *feel* like she’s married.
Good luck I hope it works out well!
It’s might feel like the only thing she thinks she has control of still. Everything she has is someone else’s. Just a little of the life she left.