I’m 52 f….married for 27 years with 3 beautiful adult children
My husband and I are opposite.. im outgoing.. he’s conservative tight ass.. it’s always worked… but the last couple yrs it’s a problem.. he now wants a wife on the straight and narrow.. a typical housewife.. I’ve been that but I also am a free spirited person who enjoys life and travel and generally positive and social
We’ll in March he got diagnosed with lymphoma.. still doing chemo but he’s now in remission with an over 90 percent survival rate
I go to all his chemos.. I cook clean and do all my wifely duties
But he’s still hard on me .. I can’t do anything right.. “ I’m too friendly “
Please don’t comment I need therapy.. because I’ve done it in the past would bad results.. I’m reaching out here to real people who can give me personal experience advice
I daydream what my life would look like .. to be on my own.. and not answer to him.. and make my own decisions and future dreams come true
It’s a great fantasy.. but I’m also 52 yrs ( don’t feel it but I am)
My question is do you just put up and shut up .. or do you make the scary hard decision to do it on your own?.. absolutely I’m always there for him through the cancer process
But soon life will be back to normal.. he’s in remission.. but our resentment and problems are still there prior to cancer
All comments are appreciated!
5 comments
I’m pro marriage…
But with that being said I’m also pro prioritizing ones overall well being. Life is too short not to be happy. This relationship may have just run it’s course. Nobody gets a trophy staying in a unfruitful marriage just bc it’s the thing to do.
Ultimately I suggest you follow your heart and mind. Then make sounds decisions from there once it’s settled within you. Good luck.
Grasp the remission with both hands
My mom left my dad at 51 after 25 years of marriage. They shared no interests anymore and she wanted to travel, have fun and experience things and he just wanted to sit around. That was 7 years ago. I can tell you that she’s doing wonderful now, and is the happiest I’ve ever seen her. She does things with friends every weekend, travels, started a new career path, got a motorcycle and a dog haha. I say have an honest conversation with him about how you’re feeling and if he can give you what you need at this stage of life it may be time to move on.
I’d try a little compromise and hope he does the same. Try counselling and giving it a real effort for bit while expressing your wants vs. Needs. If it still doesn’t work, then probably time for an ultimatum.
Only you will know if leaving him will make you happy for the rest of your life.
Maybe all you need is for him to accept that you need a little more freedom.
My mom left my dad when she was around your age. She moved on quickly and is a lot happier now! Took my dad a lot longer and he was very sad for a while but he’s moved on now too.
Life’s too short to settle imo! 50 isn’t even that old by today’s standards! I would at least not do anything for someone who doesn’t appreciate it.