This is preferably for men to answer, because I know what women will typically say.
My FWB (M40) and I (F34) have been seeing each other for seven months. During this seven months, he has only said once that he loves something about me (a personality trait) and only once did he accidentally make eye contact during sex and he shifted his glance quickly. We are FWBs so I never expected him to make any eye contact. I’ve always heard it was an act of bonding and emotional vulnerability.
However, the last time I saw him, he held off going into work to be able to see me. We hadn’t seen each other in almost a month because of his job. I had just gotten my hair done the day prior and he said multiple times, “I love your hair.” Once, he said, “I love your hair and everything.” (And everything? Side note: I wasn’t naked at this time.) But I also hear a “I really do love your hair.” As he kissed me. Only once was it said prior to the act of sex. Multiple times, he said it after sex.
During sex, I’m in position, we are in missionary, my legs over his shoulders and he does make quick eye contact with me during a shift of action but then breaks the contact. However, very shortly after that, he purposefully makes and HOLDS eye contact with me for at least 15-20 seconds before he was about to climax.
I’m just confused because previously he avoided eye contact like the plague, understandably so. Now, he’s intentionally (after 7 months) wanting to purposefully HOLD eye contact? Are his feelings changing? I’m ok with how things are but I would also be ok with things shifting if they are… It just seemed different that he suddenly started making eye contact after all of this time.
As for the word love, he’s never used it to me like this, especially repeatedly in one day. I could understand him saying “I like your hair. It looks nice.” But he said “love the hair and everything” and “I really do love your hair” multiple times. Is he practicing using that word? A guy friend thinks he’s testing the waters to see how I react to it in this way before he mentions it in other ways. And also said the “and everything” means me in general but that he isn’t quite ready to say it.
3 comments
He’s at least getting more comfortable if not developing substantial feelings.
It’s impossible to know without talking to him.
Every person who makes a major decision goes through a rollercoaster of emotions. He is in the rollercoaster but not yet comfortable or decided. Be careful when he’s in the dips as thats when hes. Ot likely to respond well to you being to lovey or clingy. But when he is on the humps and all affectionate thats when its safe to be affectionate back. Mimic his emotional if you want it to proceed to a relationship.
I think this is time where he’s opening up to feeling more. Hard to say where his feelings are but his desire for being *with* you is higher.