I wanted a partner who would raise my kids with me instead I have an adult child who I have to beg to go to bed at a decent hour. Instead he comes in at 2am after gaming all night and sleeps in until 10am. Goes to work right away and comes home spends the next 5 hours on screens and then me and the baby are heading to bed at 8pm. I wake up at 6:30 every morning with my baby and spend all morning by my self. I’m lonely and tired and I just wanted a partner.
14 comments
How many kids do you have and are they his?
You need to decide if this is bad enough to leave. If this never changed, would you want to stay in this relationship? If it is bad enough to leave, set a boundary for what you need. Next time he crosses it, go stay with friends or family. From my own personal experience from when I was basically doing what your husband is going, we don’t necessarily recognize how bad it is for our spouse until our spouse makes it clear that it is bad enough to leave.
Is it possible to have day off here and there? Maybe he game one night and then give you the same freedom the next night?
Do… do we have the same husband? Lmao
Another ‘man’ attempting to live an extended adolescence with mommy.
Ultimatum time. His family and responsibilities as a parent or dopamine hits from meaningless soul sucking device.
Gamer bros are the fucking worst! Imagine if you had a hobby and spent hours a day neglecting your family and put it first. “Sorry, can’t spend time with you or the baby because I got a new romance novel! I’ve only been reading for an hour.. this is the *one* thing I do to relax, you’re being controlling! I’ll do it after my group chat with the girls. No it can’t wait, we read the last three chapters and we have to discuss it now! If I do it later I’ll be behind and I’ll miss the conversation! God you just don’t understand, get off my back!”
It would be fucking ridiculous, no? You would be a bad parent and a bad spouse, right?
Why are the rules different when it’s a man and video games? Call his ass out.
This sounds like my husband
Did the gaming get out of hand after the baby or was it like that before? Could it be because he’s depressed? Lots of new dads deal with depression but it’s not often discussed.
You need to talk to him about this. Everyone needs an outlet for their stress and hobbies that they enjoy, but not at the expense of their family and responsibilities. That’s not being a good husband or father, and it’s certainly not setting a good example for your child as their father. The number one thing a father can do for their child is be present, and it doesn’t sound like he is. Someday he’ll want this time with his baby and his wife back and he won’t be able to get it.
I would suggest talking to him and working out a compromise; reduce gaming time to an hour a night, or maybe one night a week as long as he wants? The number one thing is to communicate with him and try to work out a solution that makes both of you happy. Also see if there’s a bigger issue he’s facing that he’s using the video games as an escape from. If there is it needs to be addressed. Becoming a father can be very hard and it’s a huge adjustment, my (28M) wife (28F) and I have a 10 m/o son, and it was a BIG adjustment that came with lots of new challenges and changes. If you two aren’t a united front that has each others backs and constantly communicating with one another what you’re experiencing, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. Maybe after addressing the actual underlying issue, if there is one, and spending more time with his family and less time on video games he’ll begin to choose the family time over the video games and it won’t really even be a compromise anymore.
[https://imgflip.com/i/7qecc4](https://imgflip.com/i/7qecc4)
https://preview.redd.it/6ch23tutlu7b1.jpeg?width=602&format=pjpg&auto=webp&v=enabled&s=e6367d2d88b803de7884e149c9dd41847ae32269
Is it possible he’s depressed?
Fuck him!
Put it in terms he can understand:
Dear Gamer, in order to continue the game of marriage, you need to level up in terms of being a husband and father. Every day is a slightly different adventure where you need to navigate the tasks of child raising and being a husband. This is a game where only skilled players survive. Points are earned by spending time with your child, completing household tasks and romanticize the wife character. Failure to do so will deplete your health, bank account, and end the game. Once the game has ended, you can not restart.
I barely see my husband and he works from home. He’s a writer, so he’s usually caught up in something. It’s tough.
