I’ve been seeing this woman for about five weeks. She tells me all the time how I’m the only guy that’s ever taken the time to get to know her, that I’m the only person who really listens to her. She tells me I’m so sweet that she’s worried it isn’t real, and she ‘didn’t know guys like me existed.” She says I communicate so well with her and I’ve never made her feel like her feelings were invalid.
She started being distant on Thursday, ignored me all day Saturday, and she posted an IG story with her and another man on a date today.
I think I’m just done.
34 comments
That’s a classic saddening tale to hear
There is a spectrum from…
So nice hes like a brother to me to
What an asshole, I would leave him but the sex is too good
You dont want to be one or the other. You want to be both.
Kind and exciting.
Vulnerable and mysterious
Lead with the excitment then pepper in the security over time
Lul welcome to the tribe brother. Had this exact same thing happen to me in June. At least I gave her confidence back to her I guess.
I’m so sorry man.
This is on her, not you. You did nothing wrong. Cliché, I know, but so is the woman who sabotages a good relationship because she’s not used to being in a good relationship. I actually told, warned, my boyfriend when we first started dating I might do the same. A year and a half later, we’re still strong.
Keep being your sweet, caring self. If you feel there was a strong connection between you two, fight for her. If you don’t feel it’s worth the effort, know there are emotionally mature women out there who are looking for you.
There’s a reason why I’d rather just stay friends for a while. I want to get to know the person before getting attached, which sadly doesn’t seem to exist in this generation. Even if it does get to the point of dating, I learn not to get attached that early in the relationship.
Think? Be done bro….
I’m really sorry – I’ve experienced the same before and it’s painful.
We don’t know a lot of details so I’m not going to try and give advice but I absolutely will say, you are NOT worthless!
Feeling low is valid, it’s really crappy being used, but she doesn’t define your worth.
She has low self-esteem and is not ready for a healthy relationship? 🙁 Doesn’t sound like your fault.
I think even tho this specific situation sucks, you should hold your head high bc how you treated her could have even been shocking like she didn’t know what to do with it. But you would be a treasure for the right person. If you feel like you need a break, then sure. There’s a lot of people who wouldn’t take you and your treatment for granted.
I’m a woman and this has happened to me with men. Idk why people do it
Attractive women have so many options sometimes, like a kid in a candy store. Here today gone today……….
classic love bombing bullshit
don’t feel bad bro, she’s gonna do this same shit to every guy
Same situation, but it was 2 years ago with my best friend who liked me and then decided to friendzone me as per her convenience.
You don’t need her. She was obviously playing with your emotions and wanted to keep you around in case the other guy didn’t work out. I’m so sorry to hear this
We’re you exclusively dating? This sounds casual
I don’t know if you are going to read this or not but, some women JUST KNOW what to say.
They are very clever with words. I know this because I just dealt with a girl like this.
She knows what you want to hear.
She said similar shit. Apparently her heart beat faster when I was around her.
Lmao.
Thanks for reminding why I dumped her.
there are a lot of people that say things to try to convince themselves that they actually like someone when they really don’t. i suppose she could’ve been trying to figure out if she really liked you, but at the end of the day, it’s disrespectful that she never told you that she wanted to end things. good thing you didn’t get into a relationship with her, bad communication skills wouldn’t have been good for either of you. i say block her on everything and start healing. get out those emotions you’ve been feeling, write them down, tell someone. and then every time she pops into your mind, shut it down.
You did everything right! Women love good listeners and guys who take care.
Just that toxic ones don’t.
She doesn’t know how to handle a good guy. Don’t change for that or try to be a bad guy, because all you would get are girls who can’t handle a real connection
You gotta love it.
Every time I see a post like this I wonder why I don’t want a relationship and just want to date hot girls with no commitment.
Nice guy syndrome. Not internet “nice guy” but genuine nice guy. I got dumped twice for them liking me too much. The druggie wifebeater was the better option for one of them. The other had a list of 15 things a guy must have for her to date. No guy she met before or after she met me came close to the list. I hit all 15. Funny thing is she had this list and couldn’t even make 3/15. Things like no kids yet she had 2, must be an entrepreneur and she was job to job, physically able and she gassed out every 15 minutes on are first date to a zoo walking around and others.
Here’s the thing, she didn’t know guys like you existed because she only puts herself in situations where she meets shit guys. It doesn’t have anything to do with you, it’s her own problem and it’s not your obligation to fix it.
Consider this a blessing, any woman who says “I’ve never met a guy like you” is probably a walking red flag because it means she only associates with people who aren’t good.
In my experience, women who pour out sweet words like that within the first few weeks of dating are typically not being honest. This might get downvoted but I see it as a sign of mental or emotional instability. And I say it with compassion, but BPD, bipolar, manic swings, basically any untreated trauma and attachment issues *all* come with the whole “wow I didn’t realize guys like you even existed” spiel, given way too early, followed quickly by leaving for somebody else. I’ve met girls like this more than once in my life and now, if I do, I run for the hills when they start acting like that because I know they’re unreliable.
At least the takeaway you can get from it is this: it’s not you dude, it’s her.
Sounds like a really toxic person, good thing you found out sooner rather than later. Please don’t judge all women through the lens of this experience, it’s not fair to the nice girls out there, good luck bro.
Too good to forget her
I am sure she tells this to everybuy
Sorry you are going through this it’s never is easy. I (F) have this happen to me from men all the time it’s mentally draining at times. At least it was 5 weeks when you found out. She doesn’t deserve you. Know your worth and know some woman out there is looking for a man just like you. Don’t give up. She will eventually regret it and it will be her loss not yours. Don’t change who you are just focus on you and the right one will come along when you least expect it.
At least it’s only five weeks. Sucks man. Learn a lesson though and grow.
This thing happened to me about a year ago, chick said all the same stuff as in your situation, told me she loved me etc. then one day became distant and decided it was over. She was quite insecure and told me I “trigger her eating disorder because [I] eat healthy and work out.” She was with another dude within a week after telling me she’s “not ready for a committed relationship” lmao.
One of the best things that ever happened to me honestly and I grew a lot from that situation and realized my self worth. I hope you can find something good from this shitty situation as well.
Well there are plenty of girls like her, tells you she loves you and only you then goes around with other guys.
she sucks and isnt ready for shit. im sorry man
I’m telling you that you’re exactly what I’M looking for. A guy that takes time to get to know me, listens, cares, all of that! So don’t worry. She wasn’t looking for you, but there are women out there that are! It really sucks you spent all that time getting to know her only for her to date someone else. That’s rude of her and I’m sure it more than just stings for you. But you’ll find what you’re looking for. She wasn’t it.
If it’s any consolation, her manipulative ways didn’t change overnight and that new guy is facing problems in his future. You might have lost this battle but you won the war. This trash was not for you. Rejection is sometimes protection
Gone head and block her number and account. Rule number 1 in dating: never cycle the block twice.