So my husband brought up that he would like to sell my wedding ring.. we’ve been married for 4 years, we have kids. He said that he would just like to buy me a cheaper ring which I personally don’t mind, yes I like my ring and what it symbolizes but I can downgrade no big deal it’s just material. Later on we got into an argument and he says “see this is why I brought up selling your ring, you have to earn it and you’re not earning it” now I’m just kind of confused and a little hurt. I’m not really sure if it’s just me being emotional but what do you guys think?
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Not you being emotional. It all sounds like a fine idea until he said that. Did you not earn it already? Does he only wants a half marriage cause you aren’t holding your part? Sounds a little narcissistic and AH ish to me. I couldnt imagine thinking that way about my wife..
Is he… is he fucking with you? That makes no sense. Financially, it makes no sense at all. The resale value on a wedding ring is a fraction of its initial price.
Earn it? Who has ever heard of continuously earning their wedding ring. It was a gift he gave you as a representation of your love and union, not an I.O.U.??? Not only that, he is in for a sad fucking surprise when he looks into the resale value of engagement rings.
I wouldn’t have any more kids with this man and do what you need to do to be financially independent because this doesn’t sound like a man that can be relied upon because he isn’t mentally in this for the long haul.
I’m curious if he’s hiding some financial issues he’s not sharing cause that’s really weird.
Oh Hell No! You are not being emotional! When I met my husband, he had a super cool muscle car, a real chick magnet. He loved that car so much. When he decided to propose, he sold that car to buy me a ring, because he loved me more. We’ve had our share of financial ups and downs over the years, but he would never in a million years even suggest selling the ring, much less imply that I didn’t “earn” it. That’s completely disrespectful! I think I’d tell him he’ll need to take the ring off your cold, dead finger.
Gross. This is a power move. He won’t even get close to what he paid.
His behavior should concern you to the point of full suspicion. A symbol of love you have to earn? That’s not how love works.
Leave it on your way out. Men like this always escalate, take it from someone who learned the hard way.
There’s really no financial benefit to selling an e-ring or wedding ring, the value will drop significantly, and then you have to pay for a “less expensive” ring that has been marked up a ridiculous amount. He’s just being an ass.
My mother always taught me that you never ask for a gift back after you’ve given it because that’s tacky and insulting. I’d be offended if my husband suggested selling my wedding ring regardless of the reason! If we were desperate for money it would be my decision to sell my things.
Let alone the part about earning it which is just disrespectful. You “earned” the ring when you dated and he decided to marry you. Now he’s decided you’re not worth the original ring price anymore? Maybe I’m harsh but that’s not ok to me
Don’t give up the ring. Do not. His comment is eluding to where his mind is. You better pay attention!
Marriage is about commitment and unconditional love. Enough said.
Earn it? Boy thinks he irreplaceable.
As a man saying right here. He is an asshole, period. Hopefully you understand.
Next time he leaves the house, change the locks and tell him to get a job and he needs to earn a key to the house… Ope, nope… go be alone…
Is OPs husband alive still?
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Your husband is a massive piece of shit. Start setting a plan to leave, in case you finally realize it (your kids are still young, so you may not get what a shitbag he is just yet, being that you’re in the young baby mom fog rn). I read your other post. He is not going to get better and you are doing much more than he is doing.
Wtf?! Earn it?! You don’t listen to him?! Or you don’t obey?
And he doesn’t work?!
Like, is he earning his wedding ring?
The ring is a symbol of your love, and a promise to each other, and whatever vows you made to each other. Was obey in yours? Cuz it surely wasn’t in mine.
Shit, there’s bigger problems in this.
It’s like he’s trying to purposely hurt you to punish you. Like he thinks you’re a child and by taking away your prize possessions saying “you need to earn it” in hopes that you will start “behaving”. Aka; doing exactly what he desires or meeting a standard that he has in his mind. In order for you to be a spoiled valuable wife, you have to work harder?? That’s so criiiiiiiingee. He’s super lame and a full on man child. Not at all the way to communicate and work on growth or changes in a healthy marriage. That’s toxic. also doesn’t seem like the best bargaining chip when you don’t even seem to mind the idea of downsizing if it’s something that will benefit the relationship / family. Kinda funny. You’re actually a good wife. I would be very sad if I had to consider getting rid of, or even trading, my wedding ring because im very sentimental. I would throw a hissy fit, to be honest. He’d find out what a misbehaving wife is really like real fast.
So, which valuable item of HIS are you going to sell?
Your husband is simply insecure and feeling worthless, just like the millions of insecure worthless husbands out there, his 1st resort is to attempt to cut you down and hurt you. Starts with selling the ring, then saying you must earn it. All illogical, all immature to say the least.
He is foolishly trying to stop you from seeing that he is not a provider and his entire existence is completely dependent on you.
Maybe he is worth the strife, but mostly likely he is not. People always reveal their true selves when ‘the going gets tough’…
All the best…
He needs to get a job…
A wedding ring shouldn’t be used as a bargaining chip.
Bro wtaf. That’s some big time BS right there. It’s one thing if y’all are needing some cash cause of xyz issues but if y’all are okay financially then why bother? It’s your damn ring now, should be that way since the day he married you with it. And to say that you need to earn it is so messed up. You have been w him for four years and have multiple children. Being w a spouse alone and learning to live with them in your life and finding a groove is work in itself, and so is raising kids. You’ve already “earned” your ring. And even if none of that is true, you shouldn’t need to earn it. IMO divorce this dude. Cut your losses.
Okay so reading your comments and the post… he sounds like a narcissist, not only he doesn’t work and take advantage of that but he abuses you emotionally trying to play with your self esteem? He is trying to make you feel small because he knows all he brought to the table was that ring. The fact that he has the audacity to even bring selling YOUR ring up and HE making the decision somehow, like if you owe him anything.
I would reconsider the relationship. I am 100% sure this is not the first sign of abuse you have endured with him.
And no, I won’t say “couple’s therapy” would help because with narcissistic people there is only one way, THEIR way.
Dude doesn’t even work and he’s going on about you not “earning” your ring. Tell him you’re too busy earning a paycheck since he won’t.
Do not give him the ring. Do give him his freedom. You can do better than this wanker.
I usually try to give a nuanced take on this subreddit but there isn’t one here. He’s a dick.
You are not the hired help. You don’t “earn” anything. I wouldn’t let that go.
He’s been abusive for a long time. Don’t give him your ring and let him go if he wants to walk. He’s not adding any value to your life, just tearing you down.
Sister, if anyone sells that ring, it should be you. If he needs to sell stuff, he should have his own things he could sell.
You’re not being overly emotional, in fact I think you’re the rational one here and he’s just got a weird fixation that doesn’t make any sense whatsoever.
There is a 500% mark up on jewellery, so selling your ring makes no sense unless you are r in dire need. As for earning it, you carried and then birthed his children. What has he done to earn your love and affection?
I just said “fucking WHAT?!” out loud. EARN it? Yeah. No. He’s a dick.
Is he about to divorce you? If you divorce the ring is still yours. He might be trying to make some money off you before he leaves you high and dry.
Question: what is he selling of his? What has he earned?
Your husband is a CRACKHEAD
A ring is kind of like a car – it loses a ton of value the minute you drive it off the lot. Doesn’t make sense to sell it, really, unless you’re over the relationship.
Is he listening to Andrew Tate and his ilk?
Never in my life have I heard someone *down*grade. It’s yours and you’re probably attached to it so you should mind. Not to mention it is a *symbol* of your marriage. Disrespectful! Just when I think men can’t find new ways to disrespect women. Incredible! If you didn’t have kids I’d say upgrade your ring from a whole ass better man!
Is this a joke? He gave you a wedding ring when you married him but now he wants it back so he can sell it and get you something worth less because you haven’t been “earning it”. What in god’s name…
Financially, this is stupid as well. Not sure if you are aware yet, but your husband is an idiot. Or sketchy and an idiot. Something is up here.
You’re not earning it even though you’re the breadwinner, and the only one, at the moment? He’s dead weight, sounds like he is the one not bringing anything to the relationship. Certainly not common sense, kindness or compassion. Sell it, sure, and use the money to hire a good divorce attorney.
Ew, ew, ew.
First off, it’s your ring. If you want to sell it and downgrade to something cheaper, that’s your call to make. He shouldn’t be bringing it up. Secondly, saying “you have to earn it and you’re not earing it”, despite the fact you’ve had this ring for FOUR years…gross, and controlling. He clearly thinks very little of you and has some resentment going on if this is how he feels.
Do not sell it. If you’re strapped for cash find another way to make ends meet. Tell him to sell his wedding band instead. No man in his right mind would want his wife to sell her wedding ring. He would find another way to get cash.
Sounds like he wants to use the ring as a manipulation tactic. Huge red flag.
Wow. Your husband is a complete asshole.I’m so sorry. That’s abusive
Rings do not make good resale value. Frankly, it’s a stupid idea.
It foesnt sound like you are desperate for money. He’s not even implying that’s the case.
He is specifically trying to sell your ring to hurt your feelings. This is why he throws it in your face during arguments that he doesn’t think you deserve the ring.
Tell him to sell HIS stuff if he wants. He dies not get to suggest that you sell YOUR possessions. Think carefully, if money is short, why is he not volunteering to sell anything of his?
But to me this is a red flag. He is using selling your ring as bullying tactic to insult you by telling you that you havent earned your wedding ring. Nobody should EVER say that to you.
The way he is treating you is abusive. Have you had other problems with his behaviour?
He meant to hurt you and you just didn’t get it the first time, so he had to spell it out.
What a toxic person.
Sell the husband.
My husband always says off the wall shit when we fight.
Sometimes he says very mean things.
Maybe selling your ring is upsetting him, especially if money issues is part of why your downgrading.
What? This is absolutely ludicrous. First you don’t “earn” a wedding ring and second he’s going to get a fraction of what he paid for it. Something is not right. Please seek counseling to help draw his issues into the light.
He’s want to sell it and downgrade. He also said you need to earn it. To me that sounds like he want to sell your ring and not get you a new one until you earn it. To me this also means he doesn’t see you being worth it anymore.
-Now these might be a stretch but he may not get much for ring so he’s either giving the ring to pay debt to someone.
– He really is struggling with some sort of gambling/addiction problem and will sell the ring for a little money to continue.
– He is giving the ring to another woman as a gift or proposal. He probably can’t take money out for a new ring know you’ll probably notice it so he just going to take yours. Probably melt it down and make it different.
Whatever the case is there’s a problem in your marriage. I hope y’all can get through it.
>you have to earn it and you’re not earning it
🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
What has he earned? Your husband is a jerk. Yep, sell the ring and spend the money on a lawyer to figure out your options.