So I’m a 20f, and I’ve never even kissed a guy. I have had several relationships, I just grew up in the church so I was pretty conservative. But now that I’m an adult I’m scared that it will be hard to find a guy that’s interested in me (plus a little scary) so is it a turn off that I haven’t even kissed before?

42 comments

  2. The answer is no, guys seek that a lot, if you were the opposite gender is only when it’s really a problem

  3. Maybe for some, but there’s also some that would think it’s a positive, not a negative, and a lot that don’t really care much either way.

    Don’t worry about it. Just let him know when you’re ready to start doing that kind of thing so that he knows so he can be more understanding if it takes you a little while to learn. Honestly I think a lot of it just comes naturally anyway.

  6. OP no guy who loves you or wants you will be turned off by it (only men who want to sleep with you and forget about you and you don’t want those men anyway)

  7. No. A real man who knows what he likes and wants will prefer a blank canvas so we can tailor you to what we want. If a guy tells you “you don’t do anything!” or “you don’t know what you’re doing,” that’s a sign HE doesn’t know and is hoping you’ll do the work. If a man notices your lack of experience, he should be more than willing to help you learn.

  10. Let me inform you, unless the guy is a player, he is more terrified at disappointing you! Most guys your age, putting any bravado aside, have fuck all experience in dealing with women. Mostly have probably had only 1 or no sexual experience, probably happen when they were drunk and have zero recollection of it happening. Get out and enjoy your life. Embarrassment and being scared of a new partner is all part of the joy of living. Have fun! 😁

    Don’t be surprised if he can’t get it up or even cum. This is due to performance anxiety issues the first time. Nothing to do with you, every guy thinks he need to be a porn star🤣🤣🤣

  11. Virgin women = highly desirable

    Virgin men = undesirable

    Women’s virginity is so valuable that some women have sold theirs for fortunes.

    There are parts of the world where a woman has to be virgin to even get married

  13. I (23M) wouldn’t be turned off by a woman that’s inexperienced, as I’m inexperienced myself. So if I ever met a woman that’s inexperienced, at least we’d be in the same boat. But I know, from what I’ve learned, that being inexperienced as a man is a turn off for women (at least from what everybody says).

  14. No, but be honest, though, when it comes to the moment you two get more intimate (you know, beyond cuddling and cheek kisses, not really joking). Let him know you’re new to that kind of stuff. It might be helpful for them to know it might not be perfect the first time, nor even the next couple few.

    Dating and relationships are individual learning lessons in their own way, so don’t sweat over a lack of experience, how would you ever get any if you get cold feet any time you’re about to finally start experience new things, then flee the second you don’t feel experienced enough (a paradox basically; you can’t get experience without experience.)

    It’s going to be a little tough since you sound pretty self concious about your problem here, worried about how the other person will expect you to be when kissing. Well, don’t think too hard about it. You can just try to do what feels natural, even if it’s a little (or very) awkward at first.

  15. I don’t think being inexperienced is a turn off, but not being open to learning or trying could be.

  17. These questions seem to be very common on Reddit…

    Men are different. Some men feel a certain way about things some men feel another. There is a lid for every pot. You will always find men interested in what you have to offer as a woman, I assure you.

    For me, I prefer more experience and someone who knows what they like already. That’s me, plenty of men like a “blank canvas” to learn and growth together with, teach and explore. I assure you that you will have no shortage of men who are good with, have zero problem with or prefer a woman with little to no experience.

    The real question is…are those the types of men you want?

  19. If anything? You’ll be fetishized. I would recommend finding someone who doesn’t care about it over the type of guy who cares (either “positively” or negatively).

  21. I’m a 26 year old guy who’s never kissed a girl and still a virgin. Hope girls don’t think the same about my inexperience.

  22. I read on a man’s post that he is literally looking for someone inexperienced because he himself is a virgin & inexperienced lol so no not a turn off.

  23. No men love low bodycounts / experience. For me I don’t particularly care unless it’s high (above 5 or something) in which case it’s a dealbreaker

  24. No worries, being inexperienced is like a rare Pokémon – exciting to catch! 😄

  25. I think you’d only face that issue if the roles were reversed. Women don’t like a man with 0 experience. It’s like no women wanted this person then why should I as well . I think you are fine . I would want a women with no experience cause I also have no experience

  26. For the average person less is more, but social media may make things appear to be the opposite. Studies have shown that the fewer the number of lifetime partners the less likely one or more partners are to cheat and divorce. They are also shown to be happier over their lifetime.

    For the majority of people they have a set of core and minor requirements to determine who they will date or marry. There are non negotiables things and others which may vary depending on the person.

  27. It depends, I’m a man who likes / wants sex at a healthy level and I don’t want the woman I’m with the make a big deal out of it and put 300 road block in the way of fucking does it makes sense?

    Like I just want us to have sex when we want it like two adults and then do other things.

    I don’t want to live an highschool movie scene every time the subjet of sex is brough up

  28. It really depends on the man. Personally it would raise a few red flags for me, and the reason may prove to be a turn off. Plus, whilst I like to make sure I give a woman a good time in the sack, I’d also like to enjoy it and not do all the work.

  29. The real answer is that rarely guys can tell the difference, during sex a lot of the effort is put on the guy and if he finds himself experiencing the opposite than she’s probably worth keeping around.

  32. I’d be more attracted to an inexperienced girl with no experience than a girl who’s fucked a lot of guys.

  33. Haha, don’t worry! Inexperience isn’t a turn-off, it’s an opportunity for adventure! 😄

  35. It’s goes both ways. I’m in a similar situation. Some guys will actively avoid u. The linker serious ones will stick around because they see u more than just that

  37. Personally yes. I (then 24)m dated a fairly nice 21f, but when she admitted that she’s never gone further than kissing a guy it slightly put me off.

    I didn’t want to be the guy to take it to the next stage because I realised in that moment I didn’t want that sort of emotional attachment from her.

  38. Best time was when we both had both zero clue, but told that to each other beforehand – it removed the expectations and thoughts about being “good enough”… while doing it, we talked about what works for each other and what does not…
    Plenty of “yolo oh shit” moments that we both laughed off… ultimately found out that each likes totally opposite things so it did not worked out longterm, but I still cherrish this experience to this day. Communication is key. I wish more people were like her…

  39. No. They’re actually thrilled that they can be the one to teach you, yet nervous to disappoint you. Maybe you’d wake up and say “I thought it would be great.” 😅

  41. No. After my most recent ex and I had been dating for a little while, she confessed that she had very little experience. I never asked. She was worried that I wouldn’t like her any more. Quite the opposite. It only made me like her more. I taught her how to kiss, perform oral, and other things as well. I loved that. I taught her how to do everything just the way I like it. And she enjoyed the process. She left me and now I’m heartbroken thinking that she’s doing the things I taught her with someone else.

  42. I mean to me, that’s so attractive. If you can help your partner learn how to kiss and other sexual things like that, you’ll appreciate it more, and you can show them what you like and how you like it in the process. It’s a bonding experience, and not all girls are virgins today. That’s something men are very attracted to as it does show in stats that no experience coming into a relationship also means a longer and happier lasting marriage. I’d totally go for that.

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