My [47F] husband [46M] wants to kick out our son [18M] after his 18th birthday

44 comments

1. Why are you staying with someone who accuses you of cheating?

   Why not get a paternity test?

2. get a DNA test to prove your son is his and shut him up.

3. A paternity test to shut his gaslighting arse up.

4. So he just suddenly hates his son?
   Has he been in trouble? Lying? Stealing?
   You don’t just want to throw your kid out. I feel like there’s definitely some info missing here

5. Wow, OP, I’m amazed you’ve stayed with a man like that. You could never have a reasonable conversation with a man like that because he’ll happily deny the truth if it conflicts with his worldview.

6. To work so hard to keep what you have together?

   No need to calm him down. You are better off talking with a lawyer. You have rights as well

7. You clearly have to divorce your psycho husband and protect your children.

8. I can only assume he’s the one that’s been cheating.

9. Why are you still married to this abusive scumbag?

10. there’s something off with this story OP

11. sounds like the husband needs to be kicked out. in what way is this happy and fulfilling?

12. You’re sure your husband is wrong – 100% the son is his?

    Get a DNA test for paternity. (I think they sell this in drugstores now.)

    If he won’t accept that, file for divorce. He’s abusive and mentally ill.

    Let your son stay. Dad should be the one to go.

13. The fact that you stayed married through all of this says nothing great about you. Kick your son out and you’ll never see him again

14. You tell your husband to leave and ask him why he is projecting on to you? Sounds like HE cheated.

15. Your husband is being abusive to you and your son. Imagine for a moment how your son feels about the way his father has treated him over the years. Plus, he keeps accusing you of cheating and faking the paternity tests?!! Why are you still with this unhinged person? Do you really not see how damaging this is to your son? If you love your children, you should absolutely leave this awful person. What happens if you die? Will your husband leave everything to your daughters and nothing to your son? Let the son stay, and tell your husband to GTFO!

16. I swear I saw this same story – sexes reversed – this morning

17. Ok, so your husband is not in touch with reality, you’ve already had to leave with your children until he got therapy before you came back. This is a problem for a mental health professional, people on the internet cannot make him see reality.

    Either he knows he’s his kid and is an absolute dick bag or he’s so mentally unwell that he doesn’t know reality.

    Get a well check, get him into therapy, or put your child above your marriage if you want to continue having a relationship with that child. Because I promise you that letting your husband kick him out at 18 is going to stick with your son (and possibly daughters)and you might find yourself with a crazy pants husband and no relationship with your children when you are older.

18. I don’t even know what to say. All I see is a woman choosing her abusive husband over her child. Maybe your son is better off away from the both of you and I hope your daughters see how dad has treated him while mom has allowed it.

19. I pray the son disowns the father when he is on his own. It must be shameful to him to have such a lousy father. What does your son think of this SOB? Has he shared his feelings ?

20. 1. He cheated on you

    2. How could you have let him treat your son so badly for all those years… you’ve been extremely selfish and abusive towards him you should feel ashamed

    3.you should help your son the most you can

    4.dont be surprised if he cut off both of you, good for him even

21. At the very least you need to make it clear that he either believes you or you’re getting a divorce.

22. I’ll never forgive my parents for telling me to get out at 18.

    Your son shouldn’t forgive you either. Your husband is unhinged and you’re enabling him.

23. wtf why are you still with him what are you doing

24. I feel like he’s the one who’s cheating and pointing the finger at him to deflect suspicion, if this is true maybe your son saw something or heard something he wasn’t supposed to? Search his stuff girl!

25. It might be best to help your son get away from his father. Could he stay with your father or another family member, with your emotional and financial support?

    Is your husband still in therapy? There is something alarming about his unhinged rejection of your son, well above reddit’s pay grade.

26. Honestly, I think your husband has an undiagnosed mental illness – he has flare-ups.

    Do not kick your son out. Tell you husband that you 100% couples therapy to assess whether this can be solved otherwise if he refuses he can move out.

    I would choose my kids over my husband if they didn’t do anything wrong and I’d expect him to have the same mindset towards me.

27. >How do I calm my husband down and get him to let our son stay?

    By leaving with your son and 2 younger daughters

28. Your husband is insane. Take your kids and leave

29. So, full stop. You husband needs a psychologist/psychiatrist. This is above your or reddit’s paygrade. 3 paternity tests and they all confirmed they are his. And it went away and now its back. He needs a sit down, maybe an evaluation. And DEFINITELY needs to apologize to his wife and son.

30. Tell your husband the only person leaving when your son turns 18 is him, if he hasn’t damaged that childs self esteem and sense of self due to the ongoing mental abuse he’s inflicted on him over the years it would be a miracle. By staying with him you enable that abuse.

31. Ditch the husband, keep the son.

32. I have 2 boys, one with my eye colour, the other with my wife’s colour. They are both my boys.

33. Time to throw him out of the house. That should be a reality check.

34. Kick the husband out, let the kid stay

35. Not cool. Can you kick out your husband and keep your son?

36. Sounds like you should kick out your husband and let your son stay

37. Get the husband out of the house instead.

38. After reading this and the comments, you need a divorce.

    Therapy hasn’t helped and your husband is still mentally unhinged. If it has been happing this long it won’t stop.

    You need to get out of this situation, otherwise your son will resent your husband AND you

    How could you honesty be with somebody that denies his own child? And you let your son deal with this his whole life?

    I’m going to be honest, that’s messed up on your part

39. The most logical thing to do will likely be the hardest, prepare for separation/divorce and be there for your kids because unless he goes to therapy on his own accord it’s a safe bet this will only get worse for you (and your son).

40. Personally, I would put your foot down and tell him that if he continues with this bs, you’re leaving him. I wouldn’t tolerate one word of it after the 3 paternity tests. I would certainly not displace my son. He’s not a geneticist and it shows he doesn’t even have a basic understanding of science. I’d tell him he’s a moron and to shove it, and prioritize your son.

41. If you choose to stay with this man, and you didn’t cheat on him, do a paternity test. Then call out his BS.

42. DNA test

43. You sound like you love your husband more than your children. You know what I would do if my husband wanted to kick my children out? I’d leave with my kids. My children come before anyone else.

44. Ok Reddit fking sucks. Most commentator here is probably much younger than op yet so judge mental. Op only gets defensive about not wanting divorce right now and everyone is jumping op’s throat about choosing husband over son. Jesus Christ, calm down, there’s a large gap in between. Op thought she resolved the issue once or twice maybe she could do it again this time, maybe she could maybe she could not but let’s not jump straight into the nuclear option ok? As long as op holds the bottom line well where she doesn’t abandon her son. Maybe he’s off his meds or maybe something/someone triggered this episode again, op’s husband needs an intervention from maybe his family/parents/specialist.