In a lot of tradition, men protect women. Now, reverse that. How can we make men feel protected? Any examples? I guess, if you’re too shy or nice to complain about bad food at the restaurant, I can go full “let me speak to the manager” mode. Thnx

Edit: Karen joke issa joke btw lol

40 comments

  1. Probably what you said is the best example. Helping shy guys out. Being a shy man really gets you nothing but negatives usually.

  4. Go talk to your politicians and get the divorce laws changed, protect us from you. Inb4 this doesn’t happen on a large enough scale to actually make a change.

  5. Well not in the physical/traditional sense of what comes to mind for men protecting women, but my wife made me feel financially protected. From the time we were dating, when she was a stay at home wife and mom, and even now that she works, she’s always been financially responsible. I’ve had a lot of acquaintances or co workers who complain about their wives’ shopping and spending habits, but my wife has definitely helped me have peace in our financial life.

  6. I don’t want to feel protected, hardship -> triumph and hardship does not exist with coddling. I despise sad pathetic men who want to be coddled and protected like a doe.

  7. When in doubt a nice present could be in order, when facing danger I remember a famous quote “God created man, Col. Colt made them equal”, a nice 1911 the perfect gift.

  8. I feel like the thing that means the most to me is being mentally protected. Like even I feel your “traditional” men mentally put alot on our own shoulders. I know I mentally break myself down just because I always feel like I can be doing more so having that support of being reminded to slow down and know everything is gonna be ok does a ton.

  11. what does this even mean? protect men against what?

    legit the only thing men need protection from are things like false sexual assault allegations, golddiggers or women trying to take financial advantage, or wives/girlfriends taking out big insurance policies and then pouring antifreeze into our orange juice

    women are always saying they want a man who’ll protect them. protect you against what? other men?

  13. If you know or recognize a lady who is a know abuser, step in and redirect that noise somewhere else

  14. When I tell you something, that is between us. It’s not for your friends. Protect my privacy.

    When things are going well, don’t start something just to see how I react. Protect my peace.

    When things are going wrong, support me. Emotionally support me. Protect my vulnerability.

    When I open up to you, don’t punish me for it. Protect my openness.

    When another woman attacks me and society doesn’t allow me to fight back, protect my honor.

    When I take a moment to do the things I enjoy, leave me to it or join me. Protect my me time.

    These are the things I want protected. Please.

    Edit: Thank you for the award!!

  15. Force changes in the family court system for equity between men and woman.

    Call out women for sexual harassment against men. If it’s unacceptable for men to do to women, the inverse should be true.

  16. I don’t want to feel protected. The best thing my wife does, unintentionally, is feel comfortable enough in any situation to be herself. She feels “protected” enough by me that she doesn’t need to worry about anything.

    I sleep with one hand touching her, I pat her butt every time I walk by her (just to let her know I’m right there), I move her to the side opposite the street when we’re walking. The best feeling of all of this is watching her be comfortable in any situation.

  18. I don’t want to feel protected, I want to feel safe. If I feel safe being myself around you, that’s good enough for me and that’ll make me feel happy.

  19. I’m just going to be honest, protection isn’t even on my radar when it comes to my wife.

    I suppose if I had to give an answer at a stretch the protection she gives me is family stability as I know she is a good mother and I do not need to worry about my kids or their welfare while I’m not at home.

    If anything needs done which requires any level of physical or verbal conflict in our household 99.9% of the time I deal with it, I quite enjoy it to be honest and from where I’m sitting she quite likes taking a back seat to it.

  23. Well, just someone’s presence whom i trust already makes me feel protected, so.. Like really, if i watch a horror movie alone, i am horrified, but if someone is there with me, i don’t even flinch.

  24. I….honestly don’t know. Im a 6’3 255lbs trained walking talk with approx 30% less emotion than normal. The only times ive felt truly vulnerable are when im massively injured or massively sick (like bordering on or actually in hospital).

    Ive never fully trusted anyone to watch my back, so I learned to attack in multiple directions (figuratively and literally) so my back isn’t exposed.

    Someone who genuinely wanted to make me feel safe…. would probably be the thing that would break down that always on guard mentality because it would show that someone actually legitimately gave a fuck.

  26. Many ways. You actually named the number one way.

    It took years to get my anger under control. I was diagnosed with ADHD and oppositional defiance as a kid. Horrible anger. Kicked out of numerous schools before second grade.

    Long story short, when that receptionist is being condescending I actually want to bash her skull into the window repeatedly and inevitably lose a wrestling match to the responding police. I’m a human being, as are you. This is your job. You work somewhere that helps the public. Don’t talk to me that way. The rage boiling in me is unbearable and takes deep breathing and mindfulness to dissipate. You can’t imagine the relief when my lioness of a partner pounces. “What the fuck is your deal bitch?”

    When something I ordered isn’t right, I’m fuming. I paid you. You asked, I told you. Your menu says hashed browns and toast when two eggs are ordered. I have two eggs. I politely inquired about it and your dismissive lie “actually sir” was immediately overpowered by a roaring “It’s right here on the menu honey, do you want me to bring it closer?”

    Sigh.

    I love that shit. If I raise my voice the cops are coming. If you get into a verbal cat fight, claws come out and egos are bruised, but absent physical altercation, no cuffs are involved. Protect me from reaching a point where the inner hulk comes out because people are beating the fuck out of my kindhearted demeanor.

    Keep our personal details personal.

    Yeah, I want you to sit in my face so I can lick your asshole like a disgusting mf who would suck your farts and suckle your tits while you rub my head. Your girlfriends don’t need to know that. Neither does your momma. That’s ours. I don’t go telling people you want me to drain my balls down your throat while your head is hanging off the bed. That’s our nasty stuff. That’s personal. Now when we get home, spread them mf cheeks again so I can get to eating some more.

    If I open up about my weaknesses, please don’t use it against me in an argument. That’s one way to make me feel completely unsafe around you and close out our connection.

    Don’t betray our trust or foundation. If we’re casual, fine. We both can play with whomever, but our time is our time. Not a moment to speak about others. If we’re monogamous, Id be crushed if you went behind us. Be honest and upfront. If you want out for whatever reason, let me know. Just say it.

    Protect my vulnerable side. Once you’ve gotten a view of it, please know it took a lot of trust to take that armor off. There’s going to be times when I just want to be held. Cuddled. Reassured. All the same things I do for you when the weight of existence gets too heavy for one person. Don’t get so attached to the idea of just me being your emotional support beam. I need it too.

    We’re a team. Don’t let love fog our vision. Don’t let the idea of us ruin what’s best for… us. Let me know. I’ll let you know. Have my back and I’ll have yours. If you feel something I’m up to isn’t wise, let’s hash it out. If you think someone’s possible plotting, cool, let’s go conspiracy theory crazy. I’ll hear you out. I know you’re looking out for me. Promise to do the same. I’ll want to be able to tell you something constructive without fearing you’ll go scorched earth on me. Hear me like I hear you. Let’s tackle the struggles together.

  27. I’m a woman but if you go by Reddit there are a lot of men who seem to feel hard done by when they show their vulnerability and it’s ridiculed or exposed by their SO.

  29. Remind me that I’m actually safe with you, especially when things fall apart.

    It’s hard to feel like you’re abandonable all the time.

  30. Men implying they can protect themselves because they are a man is implying woman can’t protect themselves because they are a woman Average men need protecting as much average woman

  33. Making me feel protected isn’t an action like complaining at a restaurant. It’s a way of life, letting me know that you’re my partner, by my side with love and support and care, through whatever may come. If you want to symbolize that with a gesture, then perhaps taking my hand and holding my hand when we face a challenge is the best option.

  34. My gf and I got our concealed carry licenses together. It makes me feel nice knowing she can protect herself and me in an extreme situation.

  35. Men (as opposed to soy boys or beta males) don’t want to feel protected. A Man’s job is to make other people feel safe and protected. He does this by being confident in his abilities.

    For example, I won’t ever complain about food unless it is actually inedible. Otherwise I figure “Hey, the folks in the kitchen are just trying to get though life same as me, maybe they are having a hard day, I don’t want to make it worse.” It’s NOT a matter of being afraid to assert myself… it’s a matter of being kind and understanding towards the cooks.

    On the flip side, when the time comes to assert himself a man should be ready and able to do it. I remember one Christmas my girlfriend and I were rushing around getting everything done at the last minute. We were leaving the next morning to go spend Christmas with my parents in Albuquerque, and we had just finished 1st semester exams, we had gotten all the Christmas shopping done, and we were on the very last task… drop of the present we had gotten for TOYS FOR TOTS off at the donation barrel in the store.

    WE pulled up in front of the store and I got out of the car to run in and drop off the toy and she sat in the car waiting for me to come out. The parking lot was crowded, but there was plenty of space to go around her car, so I didn’t think it would be a problem while I literally ran in and dropped the toy in the bin.

    I hear this car honking…. and honking… and honking…

    I come out of the store, and this asshole is in his car right behind her, honing and honking at her while there is plenty of space for him to drive around.

    I just came out and something snapped in me.

    I stormed over to his car, slapped my hand on the car hood, and in my loudest possible command voice ( I had been an Army Officer back before this) screamed out BACK OFF!! in a voice so loud the security guard in the back of the supermarket came running out.

    The driver had not been expecting this, and kinda got scared… after all he had no idea who I was or what I was going to do next, and was wondering “Who is this angry lunatic right in front of me…”

    My girlfriend told me to get into the car, so I turned around and got into the car, where she told me that was a stupid thing for me to have done… and she was probably right.

    Now… making me feel supported, understood, and being trustworthy (these seem to be the points Coconut is talking about) are all very important. You would be amazed at how little emotional support most men have. Those are good things, important things to do.

    But that’s, at least to me, a very different thing from feeling “protected”.. Feeling free to be open and honest is one thing… protected I don’t WANT to feel that my girlfriend is protecting me, because I don’t every want to be so weak I can’t protect myself.

  36. Recognize that us feeling safe, sometimes means when tons of outside shit is hitting the fan, we vent at the person we know loves us, and that may be you.

    It sucks. But the saying we hurt the ones we love, is often true. When your child is sick and hurting, and you can’t do anything but lay the hospital bills, you feel like a complete and utter failure as a man. Your failed one job, protect your family. Is it logical? No. Is it what we feel? For me yeah.

    When your kid is sick, and you can’t show your fear because you know he is scared out of his mind. You bottle everything up.

    And yeah, it may just come out as an asshole comment or two. We feel horrible about it, doesn’t mean we can always stop it.

    Second, don’t confuse wanting to influence with wanting to control.

    We don’t have to be in charge, but often have a very hard time just following bad decisions. If you don’t want our opinion, and don’t care if we have one, don’t get upset when we just walk away.

  37. It is not the role of women to protect men, but a good one is being a confidant.

  38. Most of us are pretty easy going. A lot like many dog breeds. Feed us, give us affection, and we’ll be loyal for life. That being said if we do open up, share our feelings, show that we are emotional creatures, don’t use those moments against us in any future disagreements. If you want a man to close himself off tighter than a clam, make fun of the things he shared. Also be direct. Most of us are very literal people. We do not pick up subtle hints well. Along those lines, minimize the passive-aggressive comments. If you would like us to help or do something, just ask us to do it.

  39. That isn’t your job lol did you mean “comforted” or “appreciated”?

  40. Sure, as long as you protect me from spiders!” 😄🚫🕷️

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