My fiancé has recently been accusing me of cheating with two of his coworkers. I have never even spoken to any of them, but he says that they are saying things that “only I would know” or that I have repeated things they said word for word. He will not tell me what these things are, which is frustrating. We’ve been together for 7 years and I have never and would never cheat on him, not to mention I’m extremely socially awkward and have social anxiety. I don’t have much of a social life outside of him and our families, so honestly it just feels insulting to be accused of such a thing. Whenever it comes up I react emotionally and try to defend myself, asking how I can prove to him that I am not cheating. He says the way I react is strange and it makes him trust me less. I don’t know what to do. How do I react appropriately to these false accusations?
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Hes self sabotaging. Why? Who knows. Maybe its the marriage BUT it seems like anything you could do would only support his thesis to him.
You act calm then he thinks youre downplaying it to hide it.
You try to show him you love him, so he thinks you feel guilty and are over compensating.
Ask him what you could do to show your faithful Or ask if he needs a break. Its rough but something is making him act this way hope it works out
It’s should be insulting. He lacks trust in you and plays stupid games. Call him out on his BS and if it doesn’t stop, trade him in for a less defective BF
Maybe he’s cheating. Tell him that and see how he reacts.
How close are you to getting married?
As hard as it is to hear, it seems like this guy is trying to find a way out.
This is a manipulation. He’s probably cheating himself and is deflecting from that. Or it’s just a power play, to put you on the defensive. The whole not telling you what the supposed evidence is…because it obviously doesn’t exist…is a tactic.
I know you’re not going to want to hear this, but if he truly won’t engage with you in a healthy way about this and just continually accuses you of cheating, there is no future for this relationship.
Tell him he’s either accusing you because he’s cheating or he’s trying to end the relationship by making up this whole cheating so you’re the bad guy and not him. Where is his proof?
He’s either cheating, on meth and paranoid or both. I had an ex that started doing meth and he accused me of having sex with all our neighbors and if I had to use the bathroom in public, then obviously I was meeting up with someone to have sex with them in the bathroom.
One of the signs someone is cheating is accusing the other of cheating. So is there any other red flags you have noticed.
It could be psychosis. Sudden irrational and aggressive paranoia.
Take him into a doctor
He’s either cheating,paranoid or wants an excuse to break up.
Yeah, he doesn’t want to marry you and is fishing for excuses. Just let him go, saves you a lot of trouble.
You don’t have to prove anything. Tell him if he believes you are cheating he needs to end the relationship not verbally abuse you. He can shut up or leave because his insecurities are not your problem. SHUT HIM DOWN , refuse to speeak about it EVER!
Laugh. Treat the accusations for what they are. Ridiculous. Then hit him with psychology 101, “So, we both know I’ve never and Would never cheat on you, which leaves, you’re cheating on me as people who accuse others of this are usually doing it, or you want me to break up with you, which is it?”
Hes either cheating or trying to sabotage the relationship, couples councilling could be an option but if he won’t stop or give any proof on his concerns you can’t defend yourself when you know what what he’s on about
Honestly, if I were you this would make me angry, and I would react as such. Tell him you’re mad that he’s making this up, and he’s saying this because he’s too chicken shit to just break up with you (since that’s what he wants).
I’ve been in several relationships in my life, and a few that were long term. If my SO ever acted upset with me, I would usually apologize if I wasn’t sure if I did something wrong or not.
If I thought I was in the right, I would get defensive, and if I was then shown how I was in the wrong, then I would apologize. The only time I always held my ground was when I knew 100% I didn’t do what I was accused of or knew deep down I was morally right.
Frankly, we don’t know the motive behind why your bf is accusing you, but maybe he’s developing mental issues (imagining things)? Maybe someone he knows was cheated on recently, and he’s connecting dots that aren’t there?
Don’t put up with this nonsense, because if you did nothing wrong you don’t deserve to be accused of such things. Tell him if he wants to break up to just say so, and that if he keeps accusing you of something you didn’t do you’ll leave him anyway.
Sorry you’re going through this- it sounds very unfair and hurtful, but have respect for yourself and don’t put up with BS like this. 😕