My boyfriend and I have been together for five months. We’ve been friends for two years and met at work. He’s everything I could ever want in a friend and lover. Something I’ve always found interesting about him though is that he dresses like a woman, or feminine, I guess I should say.
Heels, women’s jeans and jewelry, blouses, nail polish, and hair accessories. He owns dresses and rompers that are reserved for home only. He wears makeup too, but usually just lipstick, massacre, and eyeliner and not too heavy. He has men’s clothes but barely wears them. Though if he’s going to a formal event, he will dress 100% masculine.
I asked him early on if he was trans and he said he wasn’t. Nor is he gay. He identifies as male and uses he/him pronouns. He says he’s only attracted to women and doesn’t like when men hit on him. But he’s a naturally pretty man with long hair. Combine that with the feminine clothing, and it’s inevitable he will attract male attention.
I probed a bit further and he said he always felt comfortable in girl’s clothes ever since he was a kid. He was raised by his mom and only has sisters, and he thinks that’s part of it, but doesn’t care to “psychoanalyze.” He emphasize it wasn’t a sexual thing, and doesn’t like being lumped in with femboys or CDs because of the sexual fetish aspect.
Believe it or not, I honestly think he looks great, but I can’t shake the feeling he’s not telling the truth. I have a hard time believing a completely cishet man likes dressing as a woman just because. How do I get over this and try to be more accepting and understanding?
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**tl;dr**: My boyfriend looks like a lady, but is a straight, cis man. I think he might be gay or trans, but want to accept his word and move past this.
7 comments
In the wise words of Eddie Izzard *“No, I wear dresses. They’re my dresses, I buy them. It’s like when women wear trousers, they’re not cross-dressing. They’re not wearing men’s trousers, they’re wearing trousers.”*
Your boyfriend is a straight, cis man and he has no issues with the way he dresses. You are the one with the issues and projecting your biases on him.
Your boyfriend has given you no reason at all not to believe him. He honestly sounds very comfortable in his skin with who he is, and perhaps you are not entirely comfortable with it, which is why you are questioning it.
But someone does not need to be trans or non-binary just because they like certain things that society codes as for the other gender.
He sounds awesome. A lot of guys are starting to get into more feminine styles. He’s just expressing himself and I don’t think there’s anything you need to worry about
He is trans, just not ready to come out for the world yet
Depends if you think he has incentive to lie, or is capable of lying. People can lie easily and keep burner phones ect to lead double sex lives.
He could be a cross dresser. IDK much about women who are cross dressers, but I have experience with men who are cross dressers. They just enjoy dressing up like women, they are attracted to women, they do not want to transition to the opposite gender, and they generally just feel that women’s bodies are beautiful. From what I understand, cross dressing isn’t sexual in nature at all.
Sorry, but is this a joke or a serious post?