She’s 23, I’m 18. We go to college together. Met 3 months ago. Started having sex 2 months ago.
We have been pretty vanilla, with sex only involving the basic stuff (kissing oral and positions like doggy and missionary). She told me 3 nights ago she wants to try something new to spice up the bedroom. She told me her kinks are bdsm and anal. These are new to me but I’m open to trying new things. With bdsm she wants me to talk dirty to her, calling her a slut and a whore (her words!!), spank her, choke her, etc. I’ve never talked “dirty” before and it’s not rlly my style BUT I’m willing to try for her. With anal, I’ve never been against it or a fan of it – im kinda neutral.
I’m looking for guidance and advice on both the things mentioned above (how to talk dirty comfortably/perform bdsm acts, and also how to approach anal and prepare for it)
Thank you ☺️
3 comments
This site has a good list of resources: https://kinklovers.com/resources/bdsm-education/
Anal. Take it slow, use lots of lube.
I’ve been giving and receiving anal for some 20 years now. What works for me and how I like to receive anal is often different than how past, current or future partners may like it so don’t make ass(umptions).
I would say a discussion on her levels of experience recieving is a good indicator and rather than jump straight to PiA I’d suggest toys or at the the least fingers.
Toys wise there’s either wearables like plugs that just stay in place while doing other activities or dildos/vibes which are good for hand held thrusting.
Well firstly you should star slow. She shouldn’t expect you to become the perfect dom from the first try and neither should you. Don’t put pressure on yourself and take it easy 🙂 You should both talk before the sex starts, and ask her exactly what she wants to experience! Ask her lots of questions, don’t be shy 🙂
Now you should start with the basics, like using you whole body to dominate her, your hands, your mouth, your cock, your words. Tell her how much you desire her, how much you want to fuck her.
Undress her yourself, compliment her, but also be a little rougher with her, like you can’t keep your hands off her. Tell her where to stay, or to stand and what to do. Tease her first, make her beg for it :))
During sex pick the positions yourself and boss her around. Choke her, but not too hard, don’t push down on her esophagus, grip the sides of her throar with your fingers and put pressure there. Don’t be afraid to ask how hard she desires to be chocked or fucked, you’re new to this dynamix and she should be understanding.
While standing you cand push her against the wall and make out with her. You can grip her hair and make her kneel at your feet while she sucks your cock. You should talk to her beforehand if she wants to be facefucked or not, so don’t surprise her with that.
While you fuck her, you could pin her hands above her head while you’re on top, or spank her ass hard during doggy. Tell her what a good slut she is for you, how much you love her pussy and that you now own it, to so as you please.
When going down on her, make her beg for you to make her cum, tease her, don’t give it to her before she begs :))
Her whole body is an erogebous zone so be mindful of that, don’t go straight for rhe nipples or the clit 🙂