I might just be overthinking this, so let me know. I only see my fiancé every other weekend for certain reasons. We both still live with our parents for certain reasons.

Yesterday, I was on the phone to my fiancé. He called me for not even 10 minutes, and then told me that he was going to go and ride his motorcycle now. He rides his motorcycle every day if he can. We also barely get to talk on the phone as-is because he’s either playing Xbox while he’s “talking” to me, sleeping, or caught up scrolling through Instagram on the phone.

Anyways. I said “Can’t you stay on the call with me and ride later?” And he straight up called me greedy for “trying to take away one of the only things that bring him joy” and “How do you expect me to ride after 7pm when you get to work?”. So I say well alright then, go do your thing.

Today, we call for a bit (he plays Xbox while I just sit there) and then tells me that his family came over so he’s going to call me before I get to work. No call before I get to work. I look to see if his family went out to a restaurant maybe because that would’ve been nice for him, but he’s out riding his motorcycle at 8:30 at night. Before he went, he told me that he might hang out with his friends today but doesn’t want to anymore because he doesn’t want to spend any more money at restaurants, but now he’s also at a restaurant spending money with his friends.

I’m not trying to be that crazy fiancé, but he keeps telling me random shit and then goes and does it?? Is it just a misunderstanding in my case? Advice??

TLDR; My fiancé & I don’t live together right now. He’s an avid motorcyclist. Yesterday we were on the phone for not even 10 minutes and then tells me that he’s going to ride his motorcycle now. I say can’t he do it later while I’m at work? He says “Wow, you’re being so greedy right now. You’re trying to take away one of my only joys. You really expect me to ride after 7pm while you’re at work??” So I let him go. Today, he calls me for a bit then had to hang up because his family came over. Before he hung up, he said he was thinking about hanging out with his friends but won’t anymore because he doesn’t want to spend any more money. He also says he will call me before I get to work. I get no call before work. He’s actually riding his motorcycle at 8:30pm at night, and then goes out to a restaurant with his friends to spend money. I’m not trying to watch everything he does, but I feel like he tells me one thing, and then goes and does the complete opposite?? Advice??

2 comments
  1. Neither of you are to blame. You have a right to be upset. He has a right to go ride his motorcycle if he wants. The only clear thing is that you guys are at a minimum no where near ready to even be engaged and possibly aren’t even a good match.

    You have some real soul searching and decision making you need to do.

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