Alright, so I’ll try to make this quick but I need help. Whenever my partner sees something I don’t want him to (i.e. naked people) or I even think about him seeing it, it makes me want to rip my skin off and unalive myself. If he adds some new person on something or another person is liking and commenting requently on his stuff, it makes me wanna throw up. Why does seeing/thinking about him anywhere near another person, clothed or not, make me wanna unalive?? I’m tired of spending my days just bedridden because all I can think about is him looking at anyone and being attracted to them. It makes me feel like I’m useless and unloved and I don’t know what to do.
And yes, I’m in therapy.
7 comments
What does your therapist say about all this?
This level of control and possessiveness is very unhealthy.
> seeing/thinking about him anywhere near another person, clothed or not, make me wanna unalive??
It is not practical to expect him to not be able to go to work/school and not be around other people, doing normal people things wearing clothes.
Have you considered that your mental health isn’t in a spot where you are ready to be in a relationship?
It seems like you recognize that these are some really extreme and unhealthy jealousy issues and yiure getting help for them professionally. I think thats all anyone can really ask so give yourself a pat on the back for that atleast. Most folks aren’t even that self aware, mental illness or otherwise
It’s not that deep
I used to struggle with this heavily . Mostly the nudity aspect and I still do struggle sometimes although not as much . I am borderline not that it really matters but It could be relevant I guess. But my therapist has said it’s PTSD from a situation I dealt with as a teenager. I was 13 being groomed by a 24 year old man who would watch porn in front of me and tell me how much he wanted to fuck those girls and how hot they were . He even told me that my mom was hotter than me one time. So my next relationship I felt how you feel about everything . He was also addicted to porn tho so that didn’t help. But i couldn’t watch any movies with nudity. Cuz it would send me into a mental breakdiwn. My 20s were terrible in this regard , but I think what helped me was just getting older . I’m 31 now and like I said still struggle, but my BF is 48 and not addicted to porn. Not interested in my mom like the others and has never made a comment about another woman’s appearance to me so I think that has helped tremendously. I wish I had better advice for you but I don’t . I just want you to know that your not alone and other people are out here struggling with this as well. Keep your head up and try not to let it get to you . Feed your inner baddie and be nice to yourself ! It will get better !
That’s your boyfriend so make demands. He must respect your wishes. It’s my seems controlling but when your in a relationship u suppose to only have eyes for the person your with.
If your bf is smart, he should leave you.
My ex was amazing but because of her BPD … I would be horribly verbally abused every third week. She also would be very jealous of any female I ever interacted with… But expected me to let her do whatever she wants or goes.
I had to leave because it was too much strain on my own mental and emotional health.
You may need to fix yourself first before getting into serious relationships.
Did he ever betrayed your trust on him? I supposed he didn’t cheat on you because you would’ve mention that but any other thing? Did he compared you with an ex or other girls? Does he watch women butts/tits on the street and you noticed it? Talks about topics that make you uncomfortable?
If not. Did you have any of these experiences (including cheating) with any of your expartners?
In my experience, this feelings that you have tend to start from a place of insecurity and many times that insecurity is created by some shitty relationship or traumatic experience with a partner (as it happened to me).
If this issue was created by your current partner that’s fucked up, if it was in a past relationship try to be aware of when and how it happened and work on it on therapy. You can overcome this.