My boyfriend and I made a plan for tonight two days ago. We already booked everything and he’ll be driving. Earlier today, my older sister called me if I want to come with them to this day trip. I told her that I made a plan with my boyfriend and we need to leave around 9pm. She said that it won’t take that long. I’m living with my cousin and he is also not working that’s why we decided to join cause our other cousins are joining too. I sent him a picture around noon.. he replied ‘what the fuck’ I thought he was joking around and I answered. ‘hahaha what’ then he called me that’s where he started screaming at me and calling me stupid. He was mad because I didn’t asked his permission about going to this unplanned day trip I told him that I’ll be in the city before 8 he told me “you better fucking back right now”. I told him that it’s 45 mins away from the city and I didn’t drive I left my car at my sister’s house. I ended the call because he was just screaming at me. He messaged me that if I won’t be back before 6 he will drag me back. I told him he’s being unreasonable he’s been calling me non stop. He told me not to fuck around and go somewhere cause he’s picking me up. He have my exact location because of sharing location. I don’t know what to do because right now I don’t even want to see him nor go to this trip anymore with him after everything he said and how he’s behaving. I don’t understand why he’s so upset about this.
46 comments
Permission? Holy abusive relationship, Batman.
Permission? Yelling? Don’t get into a car with this guy he is acting unhinged and dangerous
Sounds manipulative, control freak, etc. It’s very easy to say break up when it’s someone else’s relationship… but I couldn’t, and wouldn’t, deal with that to be perfectly honest. You can do better.
This is not a red flag, this is a red air raid siren.
Leave this dude, he is controlling, and abusive.
In no healthy relationship does a partner need to ask for permission to do x innocuous thing. So long as you would be there as planned, who cares how you spend the rest of your day?
You do not need his permission to do anything, never mind just hanging out with your family. It did not interfere with the plans you had made with him. You would have been back by the time he was picking you up. Absolutely huge red flag- the fact he was verbally abusive and threatened to ‘drag’ you back is not acceptable. Please do not go on a trip with this man. He sounds dangerous. The best advice I can give is turn off your location, tell him you will not be going on the trip with him after being spoken to that way and that you are over, stay the night at a family member’s house and block him on everything.
He views you as his property already and if you contine this controlling relationship will only get worse. Time to break it off for your safety.
Wow what a psycho… Leave him
Do not get into a car with him tonight. He’s dangerous in his state of mind. For that matter, stay away from him altogether. He’s scary as hell.
You are not safe.
While I do think you should have told told him your plans and when you would be back, his reaction is completely unreasonable.
His reaction is very alarming and not normal behavior
It’s been 4 hours so I hope you’re okay. This man is not safe.
Go straight to your family if you haven’t already. Tell them you need help and protection. Do whatever you have to do to separate yourself from this person. Don’t talk to him on the phone, do everything by text. It’ll help if you have to file a police report. Be clear, tell him it’s over. That’s it. Don’t engage, let him dig his own hole. If you have to collect things take people with you. Do not meet him alone.
Let me repeat, this man is not safe. Stay away from him.
I think it’s safe to say the trip is canceled. And turn off location sharing.
Sis turn off ur sharing location and leave his ass pls
I’d dump him because he sees you as property not as an equal partner.
Update me!
If he’s calling you names and telling you that you didn’t ask for permission to go out and be ready because he’s coming to get you, I suggest you rethink this relationship. It’s incredibly controlling and abusive.
I’m genuinely scared for you.
Permission? Is he your dad and you are 11?
Your boyfriend is a immature little boy who threw a tantrum. Dude has some growing up to do..
OP, not only should you not go on a trip with him, you should break up with him, immediately and NOT in person. You do not know what someone who reacts like this will do if you try and break up. Even if he’s never done anything like this before, please. Be safe.
Your boyfriend sounds dangerously unhinged. He is “upset” because he is angry and abusive.
He wants you to get “permission” to see your family because he sees you as “his”. You’re not a person, you’re on object that belongs to him.
Even if this is somehow the first time he’s ever been like this, you need to run. He is not safe. You cannot fix this or fix him. Don’t believe him, even if he says sorry or he’ll change or whatever. Please protect yourself.
Holy shit seriously run before this guy kills you.
He sounds like a complete controlling asshole. He’s obviously upset because he thinks he gets to decide what you do with your life, and gets hurt if you go and do something without telling him or, sorry, ‘asking permission.’ Guys like that piss me the fuck off. Leave him. Don’t settle for that BS.
Op I really hope you are ok and safe.
1. Stop sharing your location immediately.
2. If you have not seen him yet the. send him a text saying you do not feel safe to be around him and you do not want to see or have contact with him again. If he continues to contact you, you will file for a restraining order.
3. If possible, stay with family for the next week. He sounds unhinged and I truly think you are in physical danger.
End the sharing of the location. NOW. And break up he’s a weirdo
Uh oh
Your first step is to tell your family what’s going on
Your next step is to tell your guy he doesn’t own you and that you want a break
Take a break very quickly
Why would you need to “UNDERSTAND why he’s upset unless you already know he’s a controlling psycho.
Turn off the shared location , go out with your family. Break up with him by text and remind him you don’t need his permission to go anywhere. Tell him if he turns up at your place EVER again you will call the cops.
He isn’t your father .you don’t need permission from him or anyone else .Wtf 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩
Please update us soon we’re all concerned for your safety
Are you ok?? Please update us. Dump this abusive prick as soon as you’re safe.
There are 2 different problems here. One is him and one is you. His behavior is clearly unacceptable, so it would be good if you put an end to the relationship. Now about you, you had set a schedule, you had everything arranged. I think you should have prepared for that trip, which requires time, so you should have arrived back much earlier. In the trip with the family, you practically not supposed to participate, not having the necessary time to do things correctly for the trip already planed. You should have prepared your luggage, you should have managed your energy. If you leave already tired, I think the whole trip is compromised. I say this because you said you want to understand what reason he should have had to be upset, however, how he reacted is wrong.
OP the fact that he has got you using a tracking app is the 1st red flag, verbal abuse is the 2nd and then threating to physically drag you back is the 3rd. I can only assume that this isn’t his first outburst. This is typical narcissistic behaviour, and if you look back critically over your relationship you’ll most probably find a lot more controlling behaviours. Your need to reaccess this relationship immediately.
In a healthy relationship you can do anything without permission. Your a whole human being and you can’t own humans
Any man who would start a conversation by calling you stupid, isn’t a man you should be with. Also you don’t need him permission to do anything. He’s your boyfriend, not your owner. Dump this loser.
Absolutely unacceptable behavior from him and grounds to immediately leave the relationship. Never tolerate a significant other to treat you that way. There is no excuse, reason, nor apology he can give you to not break up immediately because of it. Better you knew this now than later as hard as it may be for you. You will do better than him though, way better people out there to date.
How do you move forward? You leave. You’re 24 and he’s a boyfriend. You’ll find someone who appreciates you and isn’t manipulative and abusive
Are you safe right now?
You’re hanging out with family and he’s going mad. Honey this is abuse. You need to tell your family how he’s behaving and stay with them. Run
The minute the call ended, you should have turned off location sharing and, if you are at an establishment, possibly show his picture to a manager and inform them that he may be hostile. If you can, I’d leave and go elsewhere.
Do not go on a trip with that person and do not continue the relationship.
First of all, turn off your location and don’t ever give him permission for having it again. Second of all, let your sister and cousins know what is going on and go somewhere else that he doesn’t know. Third, you need to leave him and find somewhere safe to stay.
Where are your standards? How did you get to a point in your life where this isn’t instant dump behavior? Like… what happened?
Dude did you go on that trip? Dear god I hope not. That’s pretty unhinged behaviour and it seems like you sorta already realized that but please update us OP
The first thing I hope you did was turn sharing off followed by a breakup text and then blocking
Him.
You should hopefully have told your cousins and sister what is happening as well
Maybe he made plans for proposing you and doesn’t wanna miss out on that opportunity
Please, update if/when you can. I’m really concerned. I’ve experienced this in the past. You need to safely remove yourself from this relationship. You need to tell your friends and family that you aren’t safe. Tell them to give this man no information about you. Stop sharing your location. That feature is supposed to make you feel safe and not turn you into a target. You might think I’m overacting or being dramatic. I’m
not. You are in danger. Please, take this seriously.