I just don’t think I deserve any friends or feel unworthy I cannot even socialize anyways so why did did this friend ask me to be friends in the first place that I would make up in my mind that this person hates me and I’m a terrible friend and would make excuses not to hang out with anybody because I’m so embarrassed by having social anxiety and that I feel ashamed
I said why don’t you give up on me as a friend I wouldn’t be able to socialize anyways
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You have to be able to start questioning your thinking, passively observing it, and letting it pass you. Breaking away from a controlling you so that you can form new habits and behaviors without these toxic ideas interfering.
[here is a worksheet on questioning your thoughts](https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&source=web&rct=j&opi=89978449&url=https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/socratic-questioning&ved=2ahUKEwiay9_msvb_AhW4m4kEHXGjDjMQFnoECBYQAQ&usg=AOvVaw3qSkOY1c6TYinT3d7diOmg)
No. It’s not ok because you deserve friends. You are not a terrible friend, you just have some extra muscle building to do than the average person. I deal with these thoughts on a daily basis, and over time and a lot of therapy i have learned that my social anxiety is just a part of me, along with many other stronger and wonderful parts of me. And the same goes to you. Take a breath, you are a good person and deserve good people in your life.
You deserve friends.
If you are thinking that it would be worth it to tell them that you are Crazypants and Shouldn’t Have Friends because of it;
then I would argue it would be the same effort to tell them what’s going on with your mental health and ask for their patience.
I will not promise that that is the best course. It has gone well for me, and it has not gone well. But when you are at the point of feeling like you have nothing else to lose, then what’s the harm in seeing what else there is to gain?
You deserve friends. I won’t judge you for saying what you did; you were operating as best you could with the resources available. But you still deserve friends, even if you don’t or can’t socialize much.
It is absolutely ok to have social anxiety and be terrible at conversations and still have friends. I for one am in this state and still have a small amount of friends
Your friend likes you around cause they feel safe around you. Probably that friend has some social anxiety too but to a lesser degree or maybe they are an introvert so they prefer friends who don’t talk a lot. It’s totally ok.
There’s actually a discord server dedicated to ppl with social anxiety. I made a few friends on there. If ur interested DM me and I’ll send u an invite. Folks there are pretty chill
It’s not ok to tell a friend to break up with you. If you want to break up – you have to initiate it yourself.
If they break up because you asked – it would reinforce the thought that you don’t deserve friendships as everyone is leaving you (and not that you leave them).
>I said why don’t you give up on me as a friend I wouldn’t be able to socialize anyways
They see something in you that is worth “keeping”.
>I just don’t think I deserve any friends or feel unworthy
You could try reading “drive your own darn bus”. There are chapters dealing with “i’m not good enough” and “i’m a failure”. The book deals with how our own brain tends to gaslight us and how we could “rewire” our brain. Every chapter has excercises, that mainly require observation and journaling.
I know it sounds hard but you should give up the anxiety, not friends. It’s not going to happen over night and it’s certainly not easy, but don’t let anxiety consume your life!!!