I’m the gf (F27) and my boyfriend (M32). We’ve been together for a while now and live together. I’m wondering what others would say on our most recent argument/scenario below:
I travelled to London for work, on the train back, I didn’t feel too good. I messaged him to say I’m not feeling myself and feel worn out. He was hoovering the living room, until he came up and said hi why are you frowning? Bearing in mind it’s just my normal face, he constantly nags at me and tells me I look angry all the time when it’s just the light that is really strong for my eyes. I said I’ve just walked through the door, and you’re already coming at me?
I gave him the chance to speak off the back of me saying “I don’t feel great, and the moment I’m inside the house, you’re already making me feel bad because of my natural face”. He repeated that I did and kept making me feel worse.
He then says “baby you looked angry, I hoovered and brushed the dogs” to which I had thanked him on WhatsApp already and in person before all this kicked off. He’s stance was, I was angry and didn’t appreciate what he had done.
I said to him “I’m not feeling great, I communicated this to you, I’ve already thanked you”. He started raising his voice, and I said I haven’t got time for this as my headache was getting worse. He got dressed and said I’m ungrateful and stormed off. I cant act all lovey dovey when I’ve already voiced I genuinely feel run down.
We set a promise/boundary – if we need time, go to separate rooms. Recently, he has just walked out, in this instance, went food shopping and says we need to look after our health and have food in the fridge. He ignores my 8 calls, and I leave him a voicemail crying my eyes out because he just gets up and leaves when I need looking after.
He continues to leave and break the boundary we both promised each other we would stop doing, and says he is done with me over WhatsApp because I said I’m numb to his behaviour of walking out going forwards 😞 showing no remorse.
TL;DR: I’m starting to doubt myself, was it me who needed to say more. Feel like I’m having to get him to put effort in to resolve things when he upsets me. Like the initial cause of the argument gets dismissed and it’s my reaction to his behaviour that is the problem.
3 comments
>Bearing in mind it’s just my normal face, he constantly nags at me and tells me I look angry all the time
So. Why are you with this person? What is it that attracts you to someone who criticises you for your FACE? Is being alone really that bad?
>Bearing in mind it’s just my normal face, he constantly nags at me
Why are you with him???
>I said I’ve just walked through the door, and you’re already coming at me?
I understand if he’s constantly nagging you, but this is a hairtrigger response imo. (You were sick so leeway lol)
>We set a promise/boundary – if we need time, go to separate rooms.
As a guy, leaving completely would make me feel like I’m respecting the boundary even more. The whole point of introducing separation is to let coller heads prevail. As a guy in my dumb brain further=better in that instance.
>says he is done with me over WhatsApp because I said I’m numb to his behaviour of walking out going forwards 😞 showing no remorse.
OP just to be clear, I think you’re sensitive and on a hair trigger. That being said, it’s because this guy is a massive fucking asshole. What an immature little baby. Bruh even if your girlfriend is disagreeable, if she’s sick you take care of her. It’s not just this instance though this guy seems like an asshole.
This man sounds exhausting tbh. People have bad moods sometimes, and it sounds like he refuses to let you have a shitty day? Like he expects you to just be smiley 24/7? Completely unrealistic and not treating you like a person who has feelings.