I am a 27 year old female who has never dated. My family has been after me to get a partner. I may be stupid when it comes to dating, but to me dating is an extremely complex process, as finding someone compatible is extremely difficult. My appearance, quirks and personality are huge deviations from societal norms. But a huge part of me doesn’t want to drastically change myself, as it feels like I am being fake. I would hate to feel like I am “playing the actor” constantly with my partner. Additionally, I struggle with mental issues, specifically executive dysfunction, anxiety and control issues. I have an extremely difficult time staying organized and managing my emotions when I get nervous. I also fear that dating would get in the way of my personal goals, as I am an extremely ambitious and motivated individual. Although it may sound strange, getting enough sleep and pursuing an active lifestyle are essential cornerstones in giving me the energy and determination to persue my passions. I would be absolutely devastated if I had to comprimise on these things within a relationship.
Is my outlook wrong, or are some people better off being single?
11 comments
I 27M am having trouble with dating and there’s nothing wrong with being single especially if you’re an introvert.
I am an extrovert. Been in three serious long term relationships, almost married a fourth. I am also 40 and been happily and intentionally single for the last 5 years. It’s really about being ok with the choice you are making. Take responsibility for your choice and if in the future you decide you want something else, move forward without regret. Happiness is within you and not to be found with someone else. If you are happy and content in yourself, you’ll find other people who enhance your life but if you look for happiness in others, there’s no guarantee that’ll ever happen. I firmly believe this! I have love in my life- not romantic love- but all other loves. I have a dog that I love and that loves me back unconditionally. I have an active and fulfilling professional life and an equally fulfilling personal life. Both take work but that’s just life. We place too much emphasis on romantic relationships and romantic love in my opinion. Love is love. I’ve loved and lost and I know that romantic love is possible anytime I want it. I just don’t need it! It’s not a compulsion. It doesn’t seem to be for you either, and that’s OK. It’s ok as long as you are ok without it.
why is your family pushing you if they know you have issues.
Do what you feel is best. You seem to have a good luck outlook on life because just only focusing on taking care of you is what’s helping you succeed in life and being a better version of yourself. Everyone needs to do that for the sake of their own mental health, and strive to be better while being independent.
Absolutely, you are right. Some people (maybe even people who are in romantic partnerships) are definitely psychologically healthier being single. Resist the pressure that is causing you to doubt yourself!
Absolutely, you are right. Some people (maybe even people who are in romantic partnerships) are definitely psychologically healthier being single. Resist the pressure that is causing you to doubt yourself!
Absolutely, you are right. Some people (maybe even people who are in romantic partnerships) are definitely psychologically healthier being single. Resist the pressure that is causing you to doubt yourself!
Yeah some people are just better off single.
It’s not dating you should be analyzing, it’s whether you want what the work of dating leads to – a relationship.
If you don’t want that and prefer forever single, then sure be single
People obsessed with mating tend to have some serious trauma. I wouldn’t base it’s importance off of the needs on trauma victims. It’s pretty extreme and it tends to bring issues in their lives imo.
Depends?
You want kids?