He got a dui Dec 2022, I drove him to work, bought all groceries, cleaned the place, all by myself even when I’d ask for help. Became a single mother tbh. I was finishing my last year of college too with a busy schedule.
Cut to now after 6 months of struggle for me he’s finally able to drive and has his own place. He’s happy and doesn’t whatever he wants, drinks and smokes with friends late at night. I had to move back to my family though because of money after graduation. Thing is, my family is a shit show that I’m the therapist for. And I have no one to talk to.
So now I see my bf having a great time without me even though all I wanted to do was have that fun with him. But he decided to get a dui durning Christmas with my family in MY car after I asked him to only drive it one time.
How do I deal with wanting him to be happy but at the same time he made me so unhappy and can never make it up to me because he doesn’t even know how much I’ve lost?
How do I talk to him about this without making him feel like I don’t want him around anymore?
Because I do want to make this work, if we break up I’m the one that’s going to be sad and alone and he’s going to be fine. I’m so broken down and don’t want to even get out of bed to deal with taking care of myself because I have so many depressing thoughts.
3 comments
? I don’t see how these issues are intertwined.
1. He got a DUI
2. You finished college and had to move home because you don’t have any money
3. He is partying with friends
What did you lose that he needs to make up to you?
Oh girl. This guy seems like a total loss. Never tie your self worth to another person. You seem to be responsible so give yourself some credit here. Would be worth getting a therapist to work on your self image if you can afford it. You call yourself a single mother and that really says all I need to know. You are babysitting a child, not dating a man. Stop doing everything for that waste of space. Work on loving yourself. You can’t give to others if your cup isn’t full. Aka, you can’t love someone fully before loving yourself. The only thing anyone owes here is kindness to yourself. If you have to go low contact with family then do what you need to do. Good luck girl!
There are a lot of 22M’s that don’t have a DUI, who are functional adults, and help their partners as much or more than they need help.
You want a partner, not a man-child. Go find a better one.