all my friends always cancel last minute giving random excuses but they always agree when first asked. all of them have cancelled three times in a row, and I don’t even know who to ask to go out anymore, its so draining when I get happy they can go, but then tell me they hv to cancel. like why can’t they give me a definite answer the first time
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how do I change this, or make new friends
18 comments
Plan something and go regardless of if they come or not. And try to meet people at that thing
Yup. All my friends will cancel by not even texting me back! I’m over this terrible communication.
If it’s 3 times cancelling last minute, then that means it’s habitual for them, they think it’s normal, and that also means that They’re shitty friends who don’t know how to respect other people’s time. I understand a one-time occurrence (once in a great while is understandable, life happens), but this crap needs to stop. People are just so narcissistic and self absorbed these days. Yes. Please Get new friends.
With Covid-19 going around and my whole family sick, I’ve canceled plans recently.
I also forgot an outing to sing karaoke that my friend planned. I even had a reminder in my phone. By the time I remembered, I was out to dinner with my son and his family.
I want to do better. It’s hard sometimes.
Personally if my friends cancel I go on my own as I love my company
I’ve had this happen a lot of times and my biggest advice is to go to the thing anyway and make friends with people there.
It’s important to send the message that the world doesn’t stop if they cancel on your plans and fun will be had with or without them. (Might also give them a little bit of fomo and deter them from cancelling in the future lol)
Also when you go to the plans anyway, literally talk to people and tell them your friends cancelled last minute cause nearly every single time, a person or friend group “adopted” me for the night and invited me to join them dancing for a little bit, getting food after, sitting at their table or whatever and it was always a great time.
Shit I even crashed a Halloween party for like 4 hours cause a friend canceled on me right before I got my Uber so I decided to go to that neighborhood anyway and find something to do and I complimented a group of girls on their costumes and we talked and I told them I was stood up and they invited me to the house party they were going to and I went and it was a fantastic time lmao
Anyways, you just gotta go with the mindset that fun will happen wherever *you* are, not just because your friends are there
Well, if your friends keep canceling on you, maybe it’s time to start inviting imaginary friends. They never bail!
I stopped inviting friends who consistently canceled and focused on people who show up. Eventually got myself a group of 3-4 people who will reliable follow through on planned events.
Try communicating that this disappoints you and hurts your feelings first. If they don’t receive that well and try to commit to the plans you make, it’s time to give your energy to people who value your commitments instead.
Well, Kevin, it sounds like you need a new set of friends. Maybe try befriending superheroes – they never cancel!
Well, I suggest making friends with cats instead. At least they won’t cancel on you and they’re quite good listeners. Meow!
They probably are not wanting to do what you invited them out to do, and so they are making excuses to be polite.
Well, you could always try making friends with robots. They may not cancel on you, but they might short circuit instead. Haha!
Do they invite u out as well?
Either way, it sounds like u need to expand Ur friendship group.. it know it’s tough but its better than feeling the way u do now
Well, it sounds like your friends have turned procrastination into an art form. Maybe try befriending a magic 8-ball instead?
Well, if your friends keep bailing on you, it’s time to upgrade your squad. Maybe try an ad: Looking for reliable friends, must have excellent excuse-making skills.
You need to look at yourself/ behavior and figure out what you are doing to make people cancel on you. if you have one flaky friend that always cancels that’s one thing but to have three people cancel on you all the time that means there’s something wrong with you or your behavior. When you go out with people think about what you usually do, maybe you don’t pay your fair share of the restaurant check, maybe you talk too much about topics people are not really interested in, maybe you’re high maintenance when ordering or planning. Or it could be as simple as these people not really your friends and that you’re guilting or harrassing them in to agreeing to hang out with you. But ultimately they don’t want be friends with you so that means that you need to let them go and find a new set of friends.
Well, Kevin, it seems your friends have perfected the art of last-minute cancellation. Maybe it’s time to switch to imaginary friends? They never cancel!