Just like the title says, yesterday during a fight my (23f) boyfriend (25m) told me he cheated on me because I pushed him away. He said the same thing about the reason he cheated on his ex girlfriend and it’s making my head spin. Back when it happened and I caught him he cried and promised and pleaded that it wasn’t my fault, but now I can’t get him saying it is my fault out of my head. I feel worthless. I’m not exactly sure how to proceed in this situation, how to make this feeling go away. I don’t know if breaking up is the answer, and we live together with another 4 months to go on our lease. How do I proceed in this situation, how do I move past this?
TL;DR: my boyfriend said it’s my fault that he cheated while we were in a fight yesterday and it’s the same reason he cheated on his ex but he’s told me before it wasn’t my fault. I feel like shit.
10 comments
Your boyfriend is a dick who can’t take responsibility for his own actions, you didn’t cause him to cheat.
Break up.
this is a very tricky situation since there is no extra information. but OP, I can tell you one thing: in 99% of cases the partner that got cheated on can’t be made responsible for the other partner cheating in my opinion. (the remaining 1% is stuff like abuse and overall toxic behaviour). I’m not someone to say that people should break up, but his reaction gives me the feeling it will happen again. Good luck OP!
OMG, he’s gaslighting you. POOR him, he was with a shrew and he HAD to cheat. /s
Leave the asshole.
He gaslighting you with a blow torch. Don’t know you but most people are not worthless and if this is how HE is making you feel then you have the answer. Take the power back and better yourself by removing this dead weight. Dump him. Move on.
Girl I’m sorry but grow backbone you ain’t worthless it’s not your fault he a little boy trying to be something he ain’t you said no and he went to other 🐱 so you can’t say nothing about you being this or that your as women and you need a 👑 not some asshole who thinks your just for his entertainment also don’t give up dating 🥲 just cause he’s a cunt also I’m guy and I don’t accept his actions or behavior he ain’t a man
Take these big bright red flags as little gifts of fortune telling about who you’re dealing with.
1. You’ve learned he’s a cheater.
2. You’ve learned he’s a repeat offender, with an ex and now you.
3. You’ve learned he blames others for his shit choices.
4. You’ve learned he can’t take accountability or responsibility for himself and his choices.
5. You’ve gained a huge insight into his character & integrity, *or lack thereof.*
6. You decide to believe this is who he is and get a plan together to leave
7. Or you stay thinking you can polish this turd into a piece of 24k gold.
Tale as old as time, firstly you are absolutely not to blame and second let him go.
This is classic abuser behavior. You misspelled ex-boyfriend. Get outta there.
Definitely would consider figuring out a plan to move out and separate. Complete red flag. This just means he has no accountability. Which is very concerning and disgusting. PLEASE SAVE YOURSELF THE DRAMA AND MORE HARM – LEAVE! You’re relationship will always come back to this problem and you will end up resenting him. Years will pass and you’ll start thinking about how you should’ve left him when this first came about. Do the right thing for YOU! He will do it again. Stop collecting red flags 🚩
You move past this by doing what ever you need to to get rid of him.
Yes, breaking up with him is the correct answer.