As the title said, I found nude photos of an ex on my old phone. I was turning it on after a long time and found old iMessage threads. I had deleted these threads on my other devices but since this one wasn’t connected to the internet, it was a time capsule of an old relationship.
With an impulse decision, curiosity got the better of me and I opened the “shared photos” section. I found photos of her. I looked at the messages/photos for a minute or two. I was looking at the NSFW photos and reading old messages. I then realized what I was doing. I snapped out of the impulsive mindset and realized this wasn’t ok. I closed the messages out and deleted the thread and all attachments.
I told my partner (24F) as soon as she woke up in the morning. We sat down and talked about it for hours. I told her that couldn’t parse out how much of it was curiosity and how much of it was excitement at the prospect of seeing sexual material. The idea that it was excitement is incredibly disappointing. I told her I was truly sorry and she forgave me. She said she has total trust in me and is ready to put it behind us.
I can’t. The idea that I broke the trust and did something out of line of our relationship eats at me. It’s been days and it’s the first thing I think about when I wake up and the last thing I think about when I go to bed.
How much accountability is enough? What else can I do? Have I done enough?
(Throwaway so responses might be spaced out)
3 comments
All you can do is act right moving forward. You made a mistake, all humans make mistakes. You were open and honest with your partner about it, which was the right thing to do. Now just honor her trust and don’t make the same mistake again. You’ll be just fine.
It sounds like you’re moving from accountability into obsession. What part of she trusts you and is ready to put that behind you do you not understand? Leave it alone unless you’re actually wanting to push her into a fight?
Let it go!