My gf and I have been together for 2 years now. Part of it was long distance and now we’ve lived together for over a year now. I’ve always been the one to initiate the sex. If she did it’s cause I expressed how I feel like she doesn’t want me cause I always initiate it. When we first started dating and we met the first time I get it she was nervous. I didn’t hold that against her. So the next time she came around tho it was the same thing. I initiated the sex, we got drunk one night and that’s when she actually did. She was saying the craziest things while we were having sex and it was the most turned on I’ve ever been. And she had to be the horniest she’s ever been she wanted back to back which I gave her we must’ve had sex 8 times that night. I saw a conversation with her and this guy before we started talking and she was high. She texted him “I’m high asf rn and want some dick, wyd?”. But then any other text they’ve had he tried to sext her and she’d entertain it but just kinda “sounds good to me” not really going in and saying things the way he was.
But then with no liquor it was the same situation. I initiate, I have to speak in order for her to say anything when we’re having sex. It takes for her to be either drunk or high to actually want it and idk if it’s even me entirely cause liquor and weed tend to make people more horny regardless of who’s around. It’s almost like she’s horny so as long as she gets her fix she’s satisfied. But on a regular basis she can go days without having sex. And then 3 months ago she started taking birth control so it’s gotten even worse due to the side effects it brings. We can go a week without it. Then at a point she started watching porn and her reasoning was that I never have sex when she wants to. But the rare times she wants it, I’ve already cranked out one in the bathroom cause I’m used to her never asking me or initiating anything. She even said she’s had sex with me at times where she didn’t want to so it’s messed up that I’m not doing the same for her.
What’s wrong with me? I try my hardest to make her horny. I want her to wanna rip my clothes off but she never does. So now I’ve gotten to the point where I rarely initiate anything. Maybe we have two different sex drives even without the birth control since it’s always been like this. Idk
2 comments
I’ll be honest with you man. You’re way too young to be dealing with this shit only 2 years into a relationship. She seems to have a problem with associating alcohol/weed with sex, and has no problem with porn despite the problems. She also seems pretty unwilling to fix it.
I’d end it personally. You don’t want to go 2 more years like this, or god willing, marry her and go the rest of your life. There are plenty of other women out there who will match your energy.
Do a web search on “responsive v.s. spontaneous desire”.
After you do that, have a conversation with her about this. Don’t start it from the position of “I want you to initiate more”, but from the “I want us both to have better sex, and this is what I’ve noticed” then lay out what you wrote above, including that *she* seemed to be more into it and had more fun.
Reiterate that you *enjoyed* this, think it’s hot, it makes you want/love her more and would like to have this sort of sex without the alcohol and/or weed.
She might just be inhibited.