I (30f) am doing some serious healing from life long multi and complex trauma. I recently had a big break-through after a terrifying few months (10 years total though) of my existential depression hitting a peak and was hit hard that I am in-fact 30, and not 12 (as my trauma has kept me at). So I am having some big light bulb moments as of late, and just realized I wipe my mouth AND my nose with my hand and shirt when I’m eating and/or sick AND pick my nose and wipe my boogers on my wall just like I saw my very toxic and abusive mother doing my whole life. I also just realized how absolutely disgusting that is. I am VERY clean otherwise in all other aspects of my life (and body lol). But how in the HELL do I stop doing what has now become a lifelong, instinctual habit?! Thank you in advance 😇🙏🏻
2 comments
I dont have any advice for this particular issue. But do check out r/CPTSD and r/emotionalneglect subreddits. You may find them helpful.
I also have book recommendations related to these subjects as well if you are interested.
Congratulations. I know im stranger, but I’m a similar age and a similar situation in regards to trauma. I would suggest you look into Internal Family Systems therapy, particularly the stage of transformation of your parts. I’m not there yet, so I can’t give any advice beyond this, but it sounds like you’re on your way.