My husband’s ex wife has made various comments throughout our time indicating the fact she feels superior to me due to having my husband first. They were 17/18 when they met and they divorced (married 2.5 years) when they were 22/23. She always posts about him and makes sure to add her “ex husband”. I get the vibe she’s proud of the fact she was with him at one point. They’ve been broken up for 8 years or so and him and I have been together 5 years. I guess I’m looking for some sort of validation. I keep telling myself I shouldn’t be so insecure but it’s hard not to feel like I’m less than her. She has gone as far as to talk about their sex life too, and I had to cut her off. I still see her Facebook posts about him which I find SOOO WEIRD. Like who still posts about their ex from 8 years ago??? I hardly remember my ex from 8 years ago.
26 comments
Find your own validation in your relationship if it’s good. Create self esteem and try to not focus on others opinions and issues.
Surprised by the therapist. In the retroactive jealousy sub this is a big thing. Knowing or imagining ex’s saying “I had him first”, or “I got her virginity” etc. I don’t think it’s an odd hang up to have and strategies to address those intrusive thoughts should be discussed.
That said, her overall position is sound. Let her crow. You’re driving.
Lol I see it like he “tried” her, but clearly he had his sights set on better things.
Thats when you say “And you fumbled him so I have him now” and you post about how marvelous your life is and how incredible hubby has been and how he tells you that you are the best thing that has ever happened to him and let her dig her hole.
Im petty lol dont mind me but she literally posts these things because she knows it gets under your skin. Its actually quite pathetic snd sad and I am sure others see it that way as well
Amazing she couldn’t keep him
How are you LESS than her. .?
she’s the one that got replaced for a better model.
Indifference in the best strategy here. She’s obviously the one who’s insecure!
Her behavior speaks more about her, than it does about you love! What kinda psycho still does this kinda shit after 8 years?! Lol! Making herself look STUPID and I’m sure her Facebook friends feel the same. 😭🤣 SMH
She has the boy, you have the man. They men are more mature and a lot of them age like fine wine :).
22 yrs. My husband’s ex still posts about him 22 yrs later. I can’t help but chuckle every single time. Try to reframe it in your mind as he chose better. He upgraded his life and partner to you. You are not less than. You are MORE than.
I would unfollow her on Facebook, and I would unfollow her in real life as much as possible. I find that I’m happiest when I stay away from toxic people.
It’s really strange that she is so obsessed with him. I think SHE’S the one who is insecure here, that she’s clinging so hard to her past relationship with him. It comes off as desperate.
What does your husband think about this all?
I guarantee you aren’t the only person who thinks the posts are extremely weird. I’m getting secondhand embarrassment just thinking about this woman.
What does your husband say?
Okay.. it’s like that Patsy Cline song, “Ive got your class ring.. she’s got you”
Except she’s got the class ring, figuratively, in this scenario.
“I’ve got your memory
Or, has it got me
I really don’t know
But I know, it won’t let me be
I’ve got your class ring
That proved you cared
And it still looks the same
As when you gave it, dear
The only thing different
The only thing new
I’ve got these little things
She’s got you”
There are plenty of analogies that fit this.
When you are cooking, you take that first taste, and it tells you all the things that are missing which will make the recipe work.
When you write a paper, you write a first draft, and that shows you the myriad of ways you can make changes to improve the final paper.
When you invent something you put together a prototype to show what you are thinking, but then you work on how best to construct it for the real world.
If you are casting a play, you audition a lot of people, but you only stick with the ones who really know how to act.
Etc
People who got test drove before the actual buying process, have nothing to be proud of. Obviously he preferred a different Make and Model.
She sounds like a bitch. You sound like he picked you for a reason. This is straight childish. Y’all are obviously trying to move on but you have someone who is stuck in the past and has the time and energy to pour into literally trying to claim something that they lost 8 YEARS ago. Just block her if you don’t like seeing her posts.
Why is she in your life or your husband’s life with that sort of behavior. Does she have kids with your husband?
She sounds like a loser.
It’s one thing to have an ex you still have feelings for, it’s another thing entirely to post about them on social media and act like it’s some amazing accomplishment that you were with them nearly a decade ago. Especially when they’re remarried.
What a sad lonely woman to post about her ex husband. Personally I would try to rethink like this for your own sanity. I mean how pathetic is it that she posts about a guy she’s no longer with after 8 years! No one can see it and think anything other then “so sad to see her wasting her life pining for her ex, I mean the guy got remarried right?!” Block seeing her sad shit and put her nonsense out of your head. Only if your man is engaging with her would I flip, otherwise it’s just very very sad and pathetic. Keep that in your head. She’s the loser and is stupid enough to keep reminding everyone! What a complete dumbass psycho
She’s the insecure one. What a weird flex. You are not less then her. She’s a sad petty woman who can’t let it go. You got him sis, she doesn’t. If you DM me her Facebook page I’ll start making snarky comments on her posts for you.
Why is there any contact at all? I was married for 18 years when she decided she liked her boyfriend more than she liked me. I waited until the divorce was final before I started dating my wife. With 3 sons and 23 years together, we block each other on social media and speak only sparingly. Get this woman out of your life.
Why is there still interaction? Are there kids involved? If not just delete and block and put her completely out of your guys lives.
It’s her past and she can publish a book about it if she feels like it. You shouldn’t worry about what she does. She’s processing her feelings publicly, which isn’t something people do when they’re healed. She may need professional help. In the meanwhile you can block her and not see what she posts. It’s her problem now.
Is the ex wife married again or has a boyfriend?
Just take solace in the fact that she is doing this because she is insecure about herself and your marriage. I’d laugh in her face because what she is being is pathetic.
Just remember you’re the upgrade.
Also suppppperrr pathetic to be fawning over your ex of 8 years. I wouldn’t be jealous of someone that clearly miserable.
Is she outright saying you are less than her or is that how you feel based off her posting?
I wouldn’t worry about what’s going on with the ex. Just Block her.
I post on and off about passed relationships myself and it has nothing to do with the ex’s themselves but just the experience. I also made sure to block my ex’s and their current partner as they are overly involved in trying to limit how I address passed abuse I experienced from them.
You can’t limit how people express themselves but I encourage you not to worry about what the ex is going through. Has nothing to do with you.
I’m curious, what does your partner have to say about it? If he doesn’t communicate with her I’d completely ignore and block.