Example:
1. Height
2. Looks
3. Beliefs
4. Education background
5. Career

Just a middle aged single women that’s curious to know.

44 comments

  3. Not sure where I’d rank it, but you have to be attracted to your partner. As much as people like to say “oh looks don’t matter!” They really do. I don’t see how you could be in a relationship with someone you’re not attracted fo, coming from someone who has dated a lot of people he’s not attracted to.

    Now, being attractive isn’t the same as being conventionally attractive.

  4. >Men: on your list of Top 5 of things that you’re attracted to in a women, where does looks come in?

    1. Sane/Rationale
    2. Curious/Imaginative
    3. Intelligent/Smart
    4. Kind/Compassionate
    5. Ambitious/Driven

    **It’s not in my top 5.**

    .
    .
    .
    8. Subjectively pleasing to the senses
    .
    .

    I’d realistically place it somewhere around there.

  5. 2nd. Because integrity is the most important characteristic a woman can have.

  7. If I don’t like how she looks, there’s no way to make up for that. That’s a friend-zone situation.

    If I do like the way she looks, that just gets my attention, and from there I would consider things like:

    Self-awareness

    Self-accountability

    Honesty and genuineness

    Consideration of others

    Ethics and morality

    Open-mindedness

    Optimism and positivity

    Discipline and consistency

    Reliability

    Adaptability

    Spirituality

    These things aren’t ranked, and there’s a holistic score based on an overall impression taking them all, and more, into consideration. But again, a woman with maximum scores on everything I like but whom I don’t like how she looks will still not be attractive to me as a partner.

  8. In no particular order: Thick thighs/dumper that can suffocate me (just a bit though), Her being comfortable in her own skin, If she has hobbies/interests that are compatible with mine, similar music taste but enough of a difference that I can introduce her to a lot of the music that I’m into, etc. Looks play very little into attraction, but I guess insecurities related to her looks might count? Idk.

  11. 1) looks (my idea of attractive, not what other men like)
    2) kinky/hypersexual (however, 1&2 HAVE to be an inclusive thing. I can’t do hot and vanilla, or kinky as fuck and unattractive)
    3) sense of humor (has to be dark, sarcastic, & inappropriate)
    4) beliefs (can’t be devoutly religious, preferably not at all)
    5) compatible personality

  13. I assume you mean in the sense of a long term partner. If that’s the case, honestly? Looks rank pretty low.

    1. Do they have a vagina? I’m not saying I need to see it on a first date. But as someone who is a fan of them in general, I would like to see and even interact with it eventually. No one, and I mean no one, likes a surprise penis.

    2. Are they a functional person? I’m an adult. I have to adult. I ain’t got time to try and help someone else figure out how to adult.

    3. Personality. Who are they? What are they into? If the wheel’s a turning, but the hamster is dead, I don’t really see that as a good thing, you know?

    4. Sense of humor. You’re not gonna enjoy the experience of “me” if you don’t get a laugh from my fucked up view of the world.

    5. Looks. I guess this is like a combination of everything. Height, weight, style, age. Like either it’s all working for me, or it’s not.

    Now, if you’re talking more a one night stand deal of “would I tap that ass?” Then it’s gonna be entirely the looks.

  15. Need to be more specific, if its just a hook up or fling then looks is number 1 all day long.

    If it’s a relationship I’m looking for, then it probably still looks as number 1 or 2 personality and compatability are equally important with looks at this point.

    Also any man saying looks arnt on there list ,I’m gonna call b.s on. Just look at society in general. How many Brad Pitt esq men do you see dating an average/ugly looking woman cause she had a great personality?

  16. 1. Personality
    2. Trust worthy
    3. Looks
    That’s about it 🤷🏻‍♀️

  17. Good sense of humor

    Expressive

    Takes care of others as much as herself

    Educated

    Generally pretty

  18. 3rd probably. I mainly just can’t be actively anti-attracted really. I don’t need above average looks or anything like that, buuuut if you’re actively displeasing to look at, it’ll be difficult if not impossible to look passed.

  19. You can’t directly see a person’s personality or educational background or even their career, generally, even though intangible factors play a big role in how we choose to dress and style ourselves.

    You can usually look at them and say “Yep, that’s what they look like.”

    Of course, maybe you mean more areas of attractive or unattractive qualities that we put the most weight on or ascribe the most value to when weighing someone who has already gotten their foot in the door in the first place by being noticed and considered as a potential love interest or at least sexual partner?

    Because if it’s the former, then various things that could fall under the general category of “looks” would occupy almost everything I could consciously think of, whereas if it’s the latter then looks are less important because we’re already talking about someone who has passed through the “looks good enough for me to be attracted to them” threshold/filter. It doesn’t really matter that much if Rhoda is drop dead gorgeous and Margaret is “only” pretty if I’m already at the point where I’m evaluating our chemistry and who I like more as a person.

  20. Looks is the gateway, I enter for Looks. I stay for literally everything else

  21. 2nd. In most cases should be 1, cause you can’t deny 1st impression matters a lot. But once you get to know the person you may see her “in different light”. Still, physical attraction is a must. Doesn’t mean she had to be Victoria Secret’s model- she must be attractive to me.

  22. Looks come in at #1 to grab my attention but that drops once I get to know someone and learn about their attitude, manners, consideration of others and self esteem. Doesn’t matter how hot someone is if they’re a shit person. Nothing is worth dealing with that stress.

  23. 1. Personality
    2. Looks/Height
    3. Music Taste
    4. Similar/Shared Hobbies
    5. Beliefs

  24. Unless you’re trying to start a basketball family, I would say no man has height at the top of their lists lol (most wont even have height at the list at all)

  25. Looks aren’t in my top 5. Probably somewhere between 8 or 9 on my top 10.

    Also, of the examples you gave, height, education, and career aren’t considered by me.

  26. Looks are number one not in the sense that its the most important but it determines if I’m going to approach or not. If they look like they don’t take care of themselves or aren’t appealing to me then I don’t approach. However reasons 2-5 are the reason for the pursuit and relationship itself. Like you don’t taste food that doesn’t look like it was made right or looks gross

  27. Looks, intelligence, fun to be around. If I find her attractive enough to learn about her brains and funness, I be damned if she doesn’t get even better looking

  28. It’s the first thing someone notices, but it’s not the most important. I’d guess the same goes for women?

    Looks are important, but they’re not deal breaker if everything else is great!

  29. A beautiful woman can become extremely unattractive by being a terrible person.

  31. Men are visual creatures, looks will always be number 1 and nothing anybody says can change my conviction in that.

    Aside from that, I value personality, loyalty, and eagerness to please in no particular order.

  32. If the question means “If her good looks are the first thing you notice in a woman, then are you more likely to be attracted to her than if you first notice that she is smart or kind?”, then the answer might be no. Based on experience, I fall more easily for someone who resonates with my natural curiosity or who can make me feel safe. Besides I’ve had reasons in my life to be wary of too beautiful women.

    But if the question is “can you be attracted to someone not good-looking?”, then no. But “good-looking” is very subjective and should be replaced with “your type” in the previous sentence; for example, heavy make-up or straightened hair are turn-offs for me and it was an endless topic of debate and “you’re weird” discussions with my colleagues in a previous job.

  33. Looks tend to be something that changes depending on if I develop feelings for someone. I can feel neutral to someone or be unattractive to them, but if I develop feelings over time, I’ll become attracted to them.

  34. Not gonna lie to you.

    1st position. If she is ugly (to my standards) no way I can date her.

    If she is beautiful (to my standards) but she is a bitch, no way I can date her.

    First we must with our eyes, then we love with our hearts.

    – Patrick Jane (the mentalist)

    The quote is probably from someone else but I heard it there and it sticked with me ever since.

  35. It’s weird because looks will effect whether I make the first move if I’ve never met the person or not, (eg at a club or something) but if I’m friends with them and they’re not a 10 or whatever their personality and our chemistry can be enough for me to catch feels regardless of looks. I’m not sure if others have noticed this but I think once you catch feels, people seem more attractive than they actually are anyway.

    So looks do matter but only from a stranger standpoint unless the person is ugly both inside and out lol

  37. I’m thinking about the words here.

    “Attracted” “Looks”

    In terms of initial attraction, what makes me notice a woman in a positive way, looks are almost all I’ve got to go on. I can think of twice in my life where it was ‘love at first sight’. I can think of more instances when I became attracted to someone as I was getting to know them. Thinking about it, I have a certain resistance to being attracted to conventionaly pretty women- I half expect them to be shallow and uninteresting.

    “Looks” is a fuzzy idea. I think it’s usually meant to mean ‘pretty’, but there’s been a few times in my life that I found someone attractive not so much because they were ‘pretty’, but because they had a certain look- a gestalt of appearance, physical grace, personal style, personality.

  38. I don’t understand why people are so scared to admit looks are VASTLY important.

    Any man approaching a woman isn’t doing so based on how good a person she is.

    99% of single women that get approached aren’t saying yes or no based on his beliefs.

    Physical attraction can grow over time but it’s easily one of the most important things and I just don’t get why some people are afraid of admitting that, is it some weird sense of self superiority?

  39. 1. Looks (initial attraction factor)
    2. Attitude
    3. Beliefs (atheist or agnostic)
    4. Monetary (can she support herself)
    5. Matching credentials (college graduated, etc)

  41. Kind of rough, but I’ll do my best, some/multiple kind of tie with each other a little, and I’m not even exactly sure how much I really value them. I may have over thought some of these.

    1) I’m comfortable around them

    2) they seem comfortable around me

    3) shared a sense of beliefs (a bit wider than religious and political, even humor too, some (not all) dislikes, maybe

    4) [Maybe] Looks, I don’t mean just for beauty, but I mean their health as well. Which can impact this/be impacted by this. You might be perfectly healthy but look unhealthy all the time, then inversely you could look fine when really you have lots of internal (physical and/or mental) problems you’re handling at once.

    5) Desire of income. I think if you grow up poor or rich, you might (or might not) be comfortable with that lifestyle. If you’re middle class, you kind of live like… well, in-between. I personally kindof live like I’m poor and wear my clothes into dust despite having some disposable money (not tons, but exists), I love eating “poor” people food but know and can make more complicated dishes. The only expensive things I will put down money for almost immediately are for my PC, though I still kind of wait for a good sale for parts/upgrades…

  42. The older I’ve gotten, the more my view of looks has changed, when I was young she had to be a smokeshow, older now i would say does she bring some sense of peace first. I’d rather be with a 5 that brings peace vs an 8 that makes everything a thing.

  43. Honestly, 2nd

    If a woman’s personality is bad then it doesn’t matter how good looking she is

  44. I am attracted to women when they are responsible, hard working, independent, loving, and have faith in God.

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