My partner is the love of my life. He is SO good to me. He is my favorite person on this earth and I couldn’t picture my life without him. We’ve been dating for a few years and I’ve just recently realized that I am not attracted to him.
I am polyamorous & pansexual. We used to be in an open relationship but he wanted to close it because he is not polyamorous himself. Im totally okay with being monogamous because I want to be with him above anything else. The problem is Ive been feeling almost like Im asexual in this relationship. I don’t want to kiss him or be intimate at all, I have no idea why this is happening or what this means & I know I should probably pay to talk to a therapist about this I just feel super confused and lost & would appreciate some insight / thoughts
I wish he would be open to seeing other people too so we could both just hook up w other people & be each others “primary partners” but I don’t think he would be happy. I am willing to sacrifice having good sex for the rest of my life if it means being able to be with him. It just sucks, but loosing him is the last thing I want to do.
The question I have is, do I break up with him? Does he deserve to be with someone that is sexually attracted to him?
4 comments
Yes, he does deserve to be with someone that is sexually attracted to him and is monogamous (not you). You are being selfish by keeping him around because he’s a “good person”.
Yes, he deserves to be with someone that thinks he is the stud he is.
And you deserve to see someone in that light too.
Open relationships statistically do not last long.
Sexually frustrated relationships don’t last that long either.
And if you want to hook up with others, it’s not the kind of love you think it is.
Take that as you will, wish you the best.
Well, what does HE want to do? I am, of course, assuming you’ve let him in on what you’re feeling and thinking.
If you haven’t, you have skipped a crucial step, and need to.
Well, I would definitely suggest talking to him about it.
Unfortunately it’s a very difficult situation as your boyfriend might want to kiss or something more intimate in the relationship, but if you can’t, which is perfectly fine, you should tell him.
I can’t guarantee if he’ll be ok with that in the long run, but it would be good to at least try.
I might try to find the cause of why you’re attracted to kissing him etc.
Maybe that way you can solve the “problem”. If the reason is more that you want more of an open relationship and he doesn’t, then I wouldn’t prolong the relationship for nothing.