TLDR: I(23M) and my partner(25F), we are seeing each other on and off for past 8 months.
Now, unfortunately after this year(next year September), I am thinking to go abroad for higher studies(currently we are working in the same company) and for that purpose we will have to do, long distance relationship for 4 years, before she can come here for her studies, and we can meet together again.
So, due to this situation, my girlfriend is highly against the idea of any successful long distance relationship for that long and want to break up, as soon as possible.
Though we have a good understanding, and we love each other still she is not buying the idea that we can have a future, after a long distance for so long, though I have tried to convince her repeated times, still same issue.
Am I expecting something impossible here? Or she is thinking too much and scared of the experiences circulating in the internet.
Basically is it unrealistic to expect that we can make it work and not worth of giving a try also.
7 comments
>Am I expecting something impossible here?
Pretty much. You don’t make 4 year commitments for someone you haven’t even known a year.
>, though I have tried to convince her repeated times, still same issue.
Maybe listen to her? She clearly doesn’t want this.
Yes, you are asking too much. But even if you weren’t, it wouldn’t matter because she doesn’t need your consent to break up with you. She doesn’t like the future she sees with you and she wants to break up. So you have to let her go and stop trying to convince her.
I’d break up, bud. That is a long time to be apart. I’d say 99.9% of long-distance relationships will break up, as you’re going to change A LOT over 4 years, and it costs too much to go see each other often. I’ve been with my wife for almost 10 years, and I don’t know if we could do 4 years apart, and then try and reconcile our relationship.
You’re not wrong to not want to break up, but you are kind of naive.
What gives you the right to try and talk her out of the decision that she knows is best for her?
I’m really sorry man but essentially putting your in person relationship on hold for 4 years is pretty a death sentence for it. If you really love her and don’t want to end things I’d consider maybe attending somewhere closer to home for college etc. If that isn’t an option then maybe just end things for now. If you’re both in a good place 4 years from now maybe you start things with her again then but asking her to wait for 4 years is really unrealistic
Stop trying to convince her. LDRs are hard, and not everyone wants them or is cut out for them. She’s made up her mind.
Yeah, it would be silly to make this kind of commitment for an unstable relationship that has lasted less than a year. I think you should respect her decision, it doesn’t even matter if it would be possible to do it, she doesn’t want that and that’s reasonable and valid. I’m sorry you’re going through this, it is really tough having to break up for reasons outside of the relationship, it sucks…